#it was supposed to be angst at first but gosh enough of that already am i right

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

DARK CREAM WEEK: day 5- punish/reward

idk man i think your threats would work a lot more often if you stopped being so handsome about it fdrgbegh<333

dark cream week and comic are by @zu-is-here

[gildasfantasy]

Id really like to credit my friend panda for helping me out on editing my story because they noticed mistakes I made <3 besides I'd like to have new ideas so it you guys want me to do something new like, new ships or share your plot ideas it'd be great !! I do oc/yn X any character from any show and game and fluff+nsfw+angst ect!!

First times in a relationship's can be scary especially if everytime you've had sexual contact, it wasn't filled with love you so desperately craved

Husk and angel had formed a friendship after their bonding near the bar that night, it was clear to everyone that there was more than friendship between the two and after awhile they made their attraction be known and a loving relationship blossomed between them but they promised to never let this relationship out the hotel to reach the ears of Valentino, angels boss. Many months has passed since they made it official and they found themselves at the 8 month mark, husk being the awkward romantic he is, he wanted it to be something immensely special for angel just to show how much he genuinely loved him.. Husk examined the stores down the pathways of the somewhat busy area but no matter how hard he searched all he could find was bondage stores, lingerie stores ect; and he didn't want that, he didn't want angel to think he was just like all the rest of the men he had to deal with and additionally, husk wasn't a big.. sex fiend.. sure he got urges but he had boundaries and the thought of leather wear and overly threatening sex felt disgusting to him, so he despised these types of stores..eventually after a long day of trying to search he sighed, he'd been to every ring, even the lust ring, but still he hasn't found what he felt was right for angel, what was he supposed to get for someone that gorgeous? He was down on his luck til he heard two strangers talking down the sidewalk as if they were married and raised his head to look at the imps. One imp had black hair, 'a girl' he noted absent-mindedly, and the other imp had white hair, 'a guy'." 'excuse me? Sorry, I don't mean to listen in on you folks but am I right to assume you're both..?" "Together? Yea we're married' the white haired imp spoke, his voice kind of scratchy that made husks ears twitch ever so slightly, 'great! I need help, me and my boyfriends 8 month mark is comin' up and I can't find anything romantic.. everywhere I look it's just.. sex novels or over-the-top sexual stores.'

The black haired imp girl spoke excitedly, her southern accent bounced off of her husband's demeanor like a bouncy-ball on a whiteboard "Well hi thereee! You're alright to ask, sugar —"

"I'd suggest checkin' out LooLoo Land stores! Even though its a theme park they have the gosh darnedest cutest things, my mox got me a thang from there!' 'christ' husk thought to himself, already he formed a headache solely because of her loud voice but despite it, he thanked her, she was kind enough to help "thanks" *his deep voice grumbled but his expression was as if he were genuinely trying to force an awkward smile and eventually they changed paths and husk found himself on the way to the infamous looloo land, loud blaring music and the sound of kids screaming and crying made husk furrow his brows and groan but it was worth it to find something angel could love..perhaps after an hour of searching he found it.. a stand filled with stuffed animals and one caught his eye immediately.. a white bear with crossed out red eyes stitched in along with round red cheeks at each side of its smile,

he knew it'd be beyond perfect for his angel and he threw a coin at the stand-man, a determined look plastered on his face. Husk picked up the toy-gun and shot water at the wooden stands. No matter the amount of times he hit them though, the standman rigged the game and after draining his coin pocket dry, Husk had enough and tackled the man. Pulling him close by the collar and holding a sharp claw up to his neck. "Give me the fuckin' bear." He growled, and while he would usually never lose his composure, he was not going to let that bear be dangled in front of him. Feeling the man shudder with a nod, he backed away to let him grab his prize; the bear and his money back in full. He loved it, the texture of the bear and the way it felt on his fur made him know Angel would adore it. A proud look made its way to his face subtly and he walked out of the park happily, believing that to be enough from LooLoo land today. he deserved everything. Angel deserved the universe, in Husk's eyes and as he walked, he found his eyes gravitating towards a jumper on the way back home. It was beautiful; the jumper was white with flowers trailing up the sleeves in pink stitching and a heart cutout on the chest and on the back. It looked as if it was made for Angel, with a lighter wallet and a newfound bag in his claws, along with a bouquet of Devil-Eye flowers (Mammon Special!) he made his way back home. Husk smiled as he walked through those hotel doors and stood in front of sir pentiouses big portrait on the wall and sighed. "Wish me luck, buddy." he muttered as he made his way to the second floor of the hotel and faced the door of Angel's room, staring at the picture of his boyfriend and their friends. It made Husk's heart melt and his fur grow hot at the beauty of Angel. with courage that took a few minutes to tame, he twisted the doorknob and opened it to see his Angel sitting with a book in his top hands. He cleared his throat lowly and watched as Angel perked up and smiled, "Whiska's! Ya made it!" he said In disbelief

lord, Angel adored husk more than afterlife itself

He knew Husk was genuine, but a part of him still doubted he'd show up for their 8th month. He was pleasingly surprised to be wrong as he pecked both sides of Husk's face and massaged his fingers into his cheek fluff and slid them up to scratch behind his ears; causing Husk to purr and melt lovingly into his touch and for his leg to ever so slightly start thumping "ah what's this then husky, this fa' mee?" Angel said teasingly, his tone joking to ready himself to be wrong. Angel couldn't believe it, he nervously took the gifts and smiled at the bouquet 'husk' he spoke 'i don't know what ta' say..' his voice seemed much softer as he sat down in his bed, the silk curtains draped up and the pink lighting above set such a pretty tone to the scene.. he placed the flowers down against his bedside table before taking a look at the jumper, sliding straight into it and it fit so perfectly. Husk could barely believe his eyes, all four arms fit so perfectly and angel suited it so well, it made husk feel hot N heavy, his cheeks slightly pink tinted 'i knew you'd like it ange' " he smiled softly just before angels tears slipped, his hand covering one side of his face to wipe his tears.. husk didn't know how to respond, 'aye what's wrong ange'.. do you not like it? I can take it bac-" "no!- no I love it I just.. didn't.. expect it' he admitted with a smile.. the two of his arms connected to his waist wrapped around himself like a self hug.. his heart was racing and in that moment husk was the only one he cared for, the only one he ever wanted to be with and die with.. he placed a kiss against husks lips, but it was soft, like their lips had barley even touched.. and before he could respond again he made contact with the bear husk had 'won' for him and got ecstatic "huska' it looks like me' awh you big-' he immediately wrapped his arms around husk and buried his cheek into his head, his fingertips stroking his cheek.. Husk laughed and held angels back to pull him closer, like this hug wasn't enough contact for him.. in the moment it's like a piece of a puzzle finally clicked and he took a deep breath, pulling away and holding one of angels hand 'i.. want.. you to know I'm ready' he smiled and this confused angel, 'ready fa' what huskie..' he responded like his heart dropped to his stomach 'to be intimate with you' he whispered, his eyes drifting up to meet angels gaze 'oh.. huska' don't force ya'self for lil ol' me.. I can wai-" "no, I want this.. I want you but I don't know.. what, I'm doing.. I'm scared I'll embarrass myself y'know' he sighed as he traced his fingers through his hair to push it back, a huff leaving his lips and his eyelashes fluttering shut to avoid angels stare 'aright then but.. I.. can help, we all start somewhere yaknow?'

It'd been awhile since husk had been intimate with anyone, the last time he did he was alive and walking earth, but this felt so different because he WANTED to be perfect for angel.. so he smiled and took his boyfriends hands, and kissing him, a passionate, gentle kiss that burned straight through with not just love but lust too, for once angel felt genuinely... Turned on by the thought of sex and he slowly shuffled down, propping himself up on his bottom elbows while his other arms hoisted around husks neck, the dim room only lit by the pink lighting above angels bed had made it feel so much more perfect, husk, being the nervous guy he was didn't know where to touch him so instinctively he moved his hands up to hold angels chest fluff and immediately angel pushed back, panting with only drool stringing their lips together, 'shit, I'm sorry' husk said immediately before angel shook his eyes, eyes wide and breath heavy 'nono, husk it's okay I just want expecting it, it's hard to..' husk frowned and lay flat against angel, his head against his chest fluff 'we don't have to do this ange' trust me I'm not a sex-maniac, I'll wait til you can feel safer with this whole thing' he spoke reassuringly, his hands moving up to hold angels cheeks, swirling his thumb just under his eye 'husk, it's fine, I want this but it's hard to.. know what people are gonna do when all I've ever been through was abuse and unconsenting touchy sex yaknow..' 'yea I know sweetheart' husk lifted himself up a little, angels legs around his waist as he peppered soft kisses down his neck towards his arms 'ill be gentle with you my love.. let me show you what love is, trust me, all I ever want to make you feel is my love'

And with that angel smiled and nodded, his head slowly cocking back as a sign of angel giving himself over to husk, at this point they could hear their own heartbeats as well as each others heartbeat, the sensuality raising the heat through the roof as husk slipped off angels shorts..his hand sliding down his hips and down his v-line til eventually he found himself grasping at angels cock, slowly moving his hand in a up and down motion while undressing himself, angels moans felt like music to his ears, knowing he was capable of actually making angel feel good sent knots of love and lust into his gut and he craved so much more..

but at the same time, watching angels face, his brows furrow and his mouth agape, his pretty waist jolting up and his hips bucking into husks touch as if he wanted more friction, god he looked gorgeous like that and husk let his desires take control. He pulled his hand away and slid his arms under angels back with his palms behind angels head, fingers interlocked into his hair before finding himself entering angels hole, a groan leaving his lips while angel wrapped his arms around husk, their bodies close enough to make the heat somehow hotter, angel seemed to grip onto husks fur and pull like he needed even closer so husk obliged and pushed himself up against angel, his head buried in his chest fluff and loud purrs alongside moans escaped his lips, he was quite the sensitive man, not very aggressive dominant, and angel adored it, The shockwaves of love being pumped into angel overwhelmed him, when it was more loving, it just felt better to angel, he let this pleasure be known via his whimpers, moans, cries, whispered begs for more, not just that but his body reacted so strangely.. his legs twitched and perked up sometimes and his hips arched upwards, the spiders hands gently stretching behind husks ears 'good kitty' angel whispered 'fuck, my god' hmmnph.." be cried out quietly all the while husk slowly thrusted into angel, his dick twitching inside angel causing a reaction from both of them, husker tightened his hug like grip on angel, holding him closely 'i love you, i love you, god.. i love you angie..' he moaned in chants, his hips bucking and his hands squeezing his hair, gently tugging at it as he opened his mouth, drooling a little as he did so.

Angel let his head fall back and succumbed to husks movements and words, his eyes slowly drifting backwards and eventually his moans became so loud that they clogged his throat sometimes, he was choking on his own pleasure.. his legs squeezing around husks waist and his hands unable to comprehend where to hold next. He wanted all of husk so he tried to speak through his moans despite the struggle 'i love ya.. t..oo..gh..whiskas" he whined out just as he felt himself release on his own chest..his hand moving up to cover his mouth and muffle his pretty moans.. and the sight of that to husk sent electricity down his guts, and almost like a wild animal, his last thrusts became power filled and he moved his arms from under angel, he found himself squeezing under angels thighs while also lifting them up a little, and let himself vunerabalise, his semen filling angel quickly. He forgot how good it felt to be intimate like that with someone and it was enough to make them both moan while hugging at eachother tightly.. the relaxation setting in while they gently rode their high out together "Christ" husk huffed through a chuckle, slowly pulling away from angel and sitting up, his eyes focusing on the quite red and lovely spider Infront of him.. he finally faced his fear and he did it, he let himself be that vulnerable with someone, "You ain't gonna leave are ya?' angel said almost nervously, despite his broken speaking and loud breathing, there was a sense of seriousness and scarseness to it 'what? No, no, baby, I'm just gonna get ya something to eat.. I ain't gonna just have sex with ya and not treat ya like a prince after' he reassured while standing up, sliding on a dark red robe he left behind the last time he went to angels, a smile forming from ear to ear that made angel feel easy 'ya really doin' that fa' me?' he spoke back as he pulled up the silk bedsheets, not taking his eyes of husk the entire time.

'of course ange, sweetheart, you deserve it' husk responded while leaning in and laying a kiss on angels forehead

[cheeseceli]

Moving on

pairing: ex!Changbin × gn!Reader

genre: angst, small drabble

Description: you found out that Changbin has moved on, and maybe it's your time to let your love story behind

Warnings: none i think? Not proofread

Request: yes!

A/n: probably not my best work but I liked it nevertheless, hope this is what you wanted!

Pt 2

You didn't believe the news when you first saw them. You thought it was some sort of clickbait or a marketing strategy, but it was true. After looking up in every website you could find, you finally understood that Changbin was going to get married.

You were looking down the Stray Kids' instagram, seeing the photos that announced oh so happily that Changbin, the man who is used to be the love of your life, was now an engaged man. The photos were beautiful. Both looked happy. Of course they were.

You should have stopped scrolling down the social media because now you were too deep down. You saw every single picture the couple had together and, you're not one to lie, they looked cute together. You read every comment you could find congratulating the two of them. The other members were so excited with the news. Everyone was filled with joy.

Why couldn't you?

You two broke up more than three years ago, and you did so in good terms. There was no thing such as a horrible fight, or external influences like jealousy and it wasn't toxic. Actually, that relationship was the most perfect thing you could have had in your whole romantic life and Changbin was your dream man. But sadly you were not born to the wall of fame.

The relationship ended because you didn't want your faces in every gossip magazine. You wanted to have datings without being followed for paparazzi. You didn't want fans nor haters. Gosh, once the media found out you were dating one of the best rappers in the kpop industry you even gained your own fan club. Of course, Changbin and JYP crew tried to give you as much comfort and privacy as possible, but there is a certain limit to what they could've done. It wasn't enough for you. You wanted to be away from the public attention. The only possible way to have it was to be apart from your now ex boyfriend.

God knows you both tried your best. But he was made for the stage and it would be selfish of you take it away from him. But you didn't want anything related to fame, and it would be selfish of him to ask you to stay. You would break up, stay as friends and then maybe, in the future, you could try again.

Sadly, future didn't wait for you. Now he loved someone new and would soon settle down with them. You knew it's been a while but you weren't expecting to see this happen. You were not prepared.

What hurts more to see was that the new love of Changbin's life wasn't famous. You were expecting to see another idol, an actor or a model, but you met a normal person. Someone who lived a life away from the spotlights but didn't mind seeing Changbin shine. And you knew you shouldn't be comparing but you couldn't help but think: if I had endured the pressure, would we still be together?

If only you were a little bit stronger back then.

But you guys were friends. That's how you decided it would be. You talked with each other occasionally and the person he is now engaged with has even met you already. It was a healthy situation. So, you had the obligation to congratulate him even though you were dying inside.

"Hey" you texted him "I saw the news. Congratulations Binnie, you guys deserve all the happiness in the world."

Binnie: "Y/n, hey. Thank you so much!! How are you by the way? It has been a while since we last talked"

You laughed through the tears that were forming in your eyes. How were you supposed to reply? How could you just text him something like "I am heartbroken as we speak because I wish that you were marrying me instead" or "I feel horrible because I wanted to be happy for you but I can only feel sadness and even jealousy"? No, you couldn't say that.

You: "I'm fine. I certainly do not have breaking news like you lmao"

Binnie: "Haha, fair enough."

Binnie: "Also, I wanted to ask you before I lose my courage, would you like to come to the wedding?"

For a second your mind went blank. You couldn't belive he had just asked that.

Binnie: "I know that this is probably super awkward considering that we are exes, but I swear it's fine with us! Actually, my partner is the one who gave this idea. They like you a lot haha."

Binnie: "But it's okay if you don't want to."

You: "I'd love to." No you wouldn't. "Just send me the invitation and I will be there."

Binnie: "Really? That's amazing! Once everything's ready we'll send the informations to you!"

You: "I can't wait."

You don't know if he sent you any more texts. Truly, you didn't want to know. Even if you did, you wouldn't be able to read the message with your teary eyes. What the hell were you doing? Going to your ex's wedding only to see the man you still love confessing his feelings to someone who isn't you is only going to break your heart even more.

But maybe that's exactly what you needed. You needed to break your heart so much so he could get out of there, so you could move on. After all, you shouldn't spend all your years loving someone who isn't available for you, and will never be. You're still allowed to be part of his life and that should make you satisfied. You would pretend to be happy for him until those feelings became true.

And maybe, after everything, you'd be able to fall in love one more time. With someone new, someone who would make you forget the man you cannot have now.

feedbacks and reblogs are very much appreciated!

what if i make a part 2 where y/n gets to be with this someone new?

[sweethartlullaby]

you, among the art ii

word count: 792 genre/theme: fluff and angst later, sculpting series, graduate student and her professor/supervisor, female and male pairing as always, imagine whoever you would like... find part iii here sweethartlullaby ꕤ masterlist

It’s her first day. 

He spent about thirty minutes trying to pick out the perfect shirt this morning. Ever since the last end-of-year meeting, he has been very conscious of his fashion choices. 

You’re already on such thin ice; try not to look like you hate it here.

He’s wearing a white shirt today, one his mother bought for him when he went home this summer. As fall approaches, he lets himself breathe. The air gently floats into the room, wrapping him with comfort. With the windows open, he leaves the cardigan hugging the chair. 

He has been creating sketches in his notebook, finding things to fix even though he doesn’t need to. He can’t let himself sit idle. He has to stop himself from checking the time. With every tick of the wall clock, he grows even more nervous. He’s also a man of tea so the unusual cup of coffee today has his fingers shaking and his heart beating in his ears. 

One minute before the scheduled time, he hears a knock on his door. He turns to see her head poking inside, searching the room until her eyes finally fall on him. All of a sudden, he feels so small. 

“Oh, hello.” She says and smiles a little before she lets herself in. Her hair is in a low ponytail, and her light blue shirt sleeves are up to her elbows. Her dark pants almost hide the smudges of clay, but not well enough to his trained eye. 

He studies her for a moment too long before he realizes he is supposed to speak. 

“Uhm, hello.” He says. She stays by the door and all he can think about is that she is going to make a run for it any second now.

“Well,” She squeaks out before she clears her throat.

“Sorry, I’m not usually this nervous.”

“Do I scare you?” He says, half-joking. 

“Oh, gosh no!” She finally steps closer to him. 

“If I’m so scared of you, I wouldn’t be here.” She explains as she looks at his desk, a clutter of paper and ink. 

“Are these your upcoming projects?” She asks, keeping her hands behind her back. He hesitates. How does he tell her he was such a nervous wreck that he took it out on his sketchbook? When he takes too long to answer, she speaks.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to pry. I just-”

“They’re just ideas.” He says and he fights the urge to cringe at the way he says it. It’s always been a bad habit. The nerves make him cold and uninterested. It is probably why he barely speaks to anyone at gatherings.

“Oh.” She steps away from the table as if she crossed the line.

The coffee isn’t helping. He’s too freaked out to think of what to say. Should he apologize? Should he tell her it’s okay? He stands frozen, his tongue trying to push the words out. It takes him another two minutes of silence before he finally blurts out letters that he hopes form into words.

“Why not…I mean, why don’t you tell me about your…project?” He takes his cup into his hands to hide their trembling before he leans onto the window frame and watches her. 

“Right! So, as you know…” She gets closer again and uses her hands to explain her vision. He doesn’t ask a lot. She seems to know what she’s doing. She knows what she wants. Her vision is tremendous and creative and he can’t help but watch in awe as passion pours out of her.

It’s in the way she speaks about her work. It’s in the way she moves as she describes it. It’s almost as if he can see exactly what she means. 

“I understand that the final project may not even be tied to Black Swan but that’s actually what I am going for. I want even more fear and anguish than was shown. I want to capture so much in just one statue. It’s…” She exhales before she finally looks at him again. 

“It’s a lot, I know. But…I’m excited.” The corners of her lips turn up into a small smile. It’s refreshing, to see someone so in love in this field again. It almost reminds him of why he is here in the first place. 

“I think…it’s going to be amazing.” He says slowly. He’s never been the greatest with words, but that’s why he’s a sculptor. There’s much more for him to show than to say.

“I really look forward to working with you.” He brings his hand out and when she doesn’t take it immediately, he almost pulls it back. But then she grips him and gives him a firm shake.

“Me too.”

a/n: hellooo!! this is part two of the sculpting series. i'm soooo sorry if it sounds so choppy i honestly dk whats wrong with me. but i will try write better for the next parts!! i'm uploading a part iii right after this one since this is a bit short. i hope you enjoyed and i'd love to hear what you guys thought about it (pls be nice), who you imagined, and any songs that came into mind!

[danpuff-ao3]

23 and 43 for the ask game thingy please and thank u

Hello there! Thanks for the ask! :D

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

Answered here!

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written?

Ooh this is hard! Why must I choose between my babies?? I've participated in many a fest and prompt event. Orange Blossoms was an indulgence of flowers and poetry (for HP Flowers AND my birthday!) Lover Boy At Play is to this day the most self-indulgent bit of hotness I ever wrote, written for Kinktober 2021. In fact, I'm very fond of most of my Kinkuary & Kinktober works!

But in the end I think it really comes down to 2 fest works.

Collateral Damage was written for Draco-Ron Fest 2021. It was a headache and a half to create. (In fact my first draft got to 10k words before I scrapped the whole thing and started fresh.) (Version 2, which is what is posted, ended up at 16k!) It was such a struggle to get through, but in the end I had a product I was beyond proud of!

The prompt was great. Probably my favorite prompt I've ever seen. I won't share it here since the prompt itself spoils the story a bit, but if you're very curious you can find it at the bottom of the fic itself. A friend of mine left that prompt, actually! And the moment I saw it I knew it had to be mine. It helped that, because I was friends with the prompter, they'd be thrilled with certain plot points I had in mind. I'd never had a prompt inspire me to quite that level before. Self-prompts, sure. Prompts from others? Never! I am to this day incredibly in love with that fic. Which is pretty big considering it's not my OTP!

It was a great indulgence of angst and miscommunication and inner turmoil. While also having fun with the characters. They're such a mess! Draco super bratty and dramatic, and a fun blend of insecure and vain. Then Ron this charming and funny guy who is also very oblivious and temperamental. It's a more lighthearted, fun version of the enemies to lovers dynamic that I don't often get with Snarry. Much as I love it, my OTP can be much too much sometimes!

It does make me unsure if I should write Dron again, though. I did it so well already! I'm not sure anything I write can ever compare. (Though it's not stopped me with a certain other ship, so...maybe I'll get over that hesitance one day!)

A Matter of Time was written for Snarry Adopt-a-Prompt and was posted early January 2022. While Collateral Damage was a fun spot of drama, this was a tragedy. And while the prompt for Dron spoke to me right away, I had a harder time narrowing down AAP prompts, and even once I did I had to tinker around with what, exactly, I wanted to do.

It was a different sort of structure than I normally write. Alternating POVs as well as reverse chronology. And I had it open-ended on top of that! I got to indulge in a bit of outsider perspective, and a secret (taboo) romance. It sort of delved into this awful situation without ever really resolving it. Also, I am dang proud of how it ended. Wow. Talk about a knife to the heart. (Of course I'd be proud of that, haha!)

Also...can we talk about the smut???? Very hot. Few people talk about that. Probably because on the whole it's a very depressing fic and most people are caught up in how depressing it is, but gosh dang it, that smut was good!

Anyway...it was another challenge to write, though it feels less oppressive than certain other fics. If only because I took breaks to write a comedy at the same time (Welcome to the Family for Rare Pair Fest.) It lightened my spirits enough to be able to reach the end without too much of a migraine. And in the end, I had a story I was stupidly proud of. And I considered it my best work until I posted Contempt later that same year!

(Also, I know I was supposed to stop signing up for fests, but...my best works came out of fests!!!! I did not need that to click in my brain now, oh no.)

questions for fic writers

[that-one-anxious-mango]

I’ll Bite Em’

Summary: You’re not having a good day, but Austin comes to the rescue after you give him a bit of panic. 

Contents: Tad bit of Angst. With Fluff.  Mentions of childhood trauma Use of Pet names. Loyal Doggo. Concerned Partner. Emotional and vulnerable reader. Implied future smut.  

Austin Butler x Black! Reader

A/N: HI! And welcome to the Days of Our Love series. I was inspired to start this series by none other than @cevansbrat0007​ after throughly enjoying her growing pains series (which is bomb go check it out.) I really liked her style of piecing together one-shots to create one big story universe! It’s super dope! SO I thought I’d give it a try! Hope you like it!

PS This is very first publishing on here. Would love feedback :)

                                               __ _____ __

Today just wasn't your day.

And what did you do on days like these? You put on an old comfy sweater and go sit on your bathroom floor to cry.

That's exactly what you were doing now and had been doing since you'd arrived back to your shared loft about two hours ago.

Although some may think it was probably a peculiar place to come and drown your sorrows, it wasn't for you. Infact, even as a youth and teen growing up whenever you needed a place to just be and let it out, you opted for your bathroom. And maybe that was part in partial to you never having a door on your room as a kid.

Parentals weren't big on privacy.

So the habit just stuck.

And now here you were. Back against the door of your bathroom trying to let out all the days frustrations and quickly clean up your face before Austin got home.

It wasn't that you didn't feel enough comfortable around your boyfriend, or you couldn't cry around him. It was that you didn't really feel comfortable crying around anybody. So, you just wouldn't want him to think you were pushing him away or have him feel offended because you didn't want him to see you like this. It was just a you..thing. Plus, with everything going on with press interviews and preimeres. Why burden the man.

Hell, you'd already practically gave Magnus a heart attack at the way you sobbed when you'd first entered the home and seen the excited pup who was expecting an equally excited human to greet him. Instead, as soon as you had shut front door to the outside world you had broken down against the wall for a bit. Magnus had immediately gone into action jumping your legs and producing tiny barks and whines that you figured translated into, ' Oh my gosh who am I gonna bite ' and ' You dumb human lean down here so I can love! '.

And through hiccupped breaths you'd managed to keep telling the concerned creature that you were fine as he followed you through the house and up the stairs to the bedroom whining all the while listening to your sniffles as you changed out of your clothes.

You then had to practically pry him off your ankles from trying to follow you into the bathroom.

So now he laid faithfully on the other side of the door huffing and whining for to just open the damn door and let his wet kisses and puppy breath fix all your problems.

But you'd be fine.

You just had to finish having your moment and be out before Austin got home at six thirty.

You used your phone to check the time.

5:12

Perfect.

You sighed closing your eyes and leaning you head back in peace.

The peace then lasted all of twenty-five seconds before you heard the chime of the home security system followed your man's voice calling out through the place.

Well, I’ll be damned.

" Hey baby it's me. Baz decided last minute that he wanted to rewrite one of the scenes that was supposed to be shot today. So, it got pushed back and I got to come home early to my best girl and hound." You heard him announce. Right now, he was probably walking into the living room expecting to see you in some type of lounge wear binging an afternoon show with Magnus ideally sitting on your thigh.

And you were right.

As soon as Austin hadn't heard you immediately respond back, he figured you were head deep into a show and didn't hear a word he'd said. It'd had happened a few times.

Setting his keys and belongings on the kitchen island chair he chuckled to himself thinking about what you could possibly be watching today. But instead, he was taken aback to see the empty dark room.

No you. No Magnus either.

Weird. He thought.

But brushed off the thought when he then figured that you may be in your office with your headphones in going over some type of new screen play with a comatose Magnus at your feet.

Making his way there he popped open the door and felt slightly uneasy seeing all the lights off in the seemingly untouched space.

Alright what's going on? He thought.

He knew you had to be home since your car had been in the garage when he'd pulled in. And plus, he couldn't remember you texting him earlier of any plans to be out you had.

Raking his brain in building worry as he climbed the stairs, he called out again,   " Sugar mama! Baby, You up here? "

You could hear the slight octave drop in his voice that was laced with slight concern making your eyes begin to water.  This is exactly what didn't want. To make him upset.

The closer his footsteps got the tighter your chest felt.

Entering into the room Austin could feel a small bit of relief wash through his body at seeing your belongings spread on the bed and side table.

So where were you?

And then he popped in his head.

Bathroom.

His baby was probably in the shower on second set of your world tour singing to your hearts content while you got clean.

And Austin couldn't wait to be your personal background singer. A small smile returning to his face as he turned the corner of the bedroom to be met with a dreary looking Magnus posted by the door.

His lips set into a line bending down to rub the dog's head in greeting, " Hey bubs? What ya' sitting out here looking so sad for? Huh? You sad because Mama is in the bathroom? " He inquired earning a low whine.

He couldn't help but be affected by the hound's little pout, " Don't worry. I'm gonna go in and we'll both be out in a little bit. Maybe then we can see if we can convince Mama to go on an evening walk with us. How that sound? " He watched the dogs head slightly lift at the mention of a walk.

Grinning Austin patted Magnus's head once more before standing up to knock on the door making you hold in the whimper that wanted to escape your hoarse throat as you hugged your body tighter.

" Y/N. Sweetheart it's just me. " He informed reaching to turn the doorknob, only for a sense of shock to waft in him upon seeing it wouldn't budge. It was locked.

You never locked doors. Ever.

Even when you took time to tend to not so appealing humanly functions, usually at the sound of Austin's feet on the floor you'd just let him know the spot was occupied and you'd soon be out.

So, all this put together with the fact that he didn't hear the faint hum of water cascading at all made his stomach drop and him begin to more aggressively shake the knob.

" Y/N baby you in there? You, okay? Why's the door locked, Sweetheart? C'mon and open it for me." He spoke managing to let a little bit of panic slip out in his tone.

Taking a deep breath, you composed yourself to reply while trying to hide any sort of out of the ordinary sound in your voice, " Y-yeah baby I'm fine, " you rang back clearing your throat, " I'm just in here cleaning myself up a bit. That's all babe. I'm fine." You finished slowly raising up from the floor to go to the sink to wash the dried tears away and make your eyes as less red and puffy as possible.

Uh Uh. That's not right. Was Austin's immediate thought.

Even though you'd covered up most of the emotion in your talk, Austin could still pick out the parts that slipped making him all the more anxious for you to open the door.

He most definitely needed to see you. Now.

" Okay.  But I hear you sound fine every day, and this doesn't sound it. Come and open the door, darling. Would you please. I need to see your face, Y/N. And I think our little guy down here does too." He looked down at Magnus who'd begun to softly paw at the bottom door opening. " Hes out here getting antsier than a bat about to take a driver's test. And I understand the feeling."

From the sink where you were dabbing your eyes you could see the little paws poking underneath the door. And then a tiny huffing nose.

Awe. Your little guy was such a sweetie pie. Always wanting to comfort and love upon you and Austin all the time. He was definitely your cuddle bug. You loved him to death.

Too bad you needed him to beat it. Along with his sweet owner.

" Here I come babe. Just one second." You continued dabbing at your puffy under eyes. Your eyes themselves had slightly dimmed in color but not much. They still looked as if someone had poured faint cherry paint in them.

"Alright. Cause I wanna see those pretty brown eyes baby. Bad." He said thinking about you.

Fuck. Fuckity. Fuck. FUCK.

He's gonna know something’s wrong.

Then your mind shifted.

He already knows.

And you knew that already deep down in your gut.

You could hear his heavy sigh on the other side of the door where he was leaned up against it. Still trying to hold on to the sliver of patience he could hold waiting for you to open it up so he could settle the thumping sensation in his chest. He hadn't really ever seen you like this. Upset before? Sure. Upset like this? Never.

Taking a last look, you wanted to cry then all over again looking at your appearance.

You looked nuts.

You had a scarf over your box braids. One of Austin's long sweaters hung on your body, and you had mix matched poka dot fuzzy socks on. And your eyes looked like someone had squeezed lemons in them. Great! Taking the sleeve of the sweater you brush back a stray tear that left your face as you reached to face the man on the other side.

You settled on doing a countdown to five.

One.

Fuck I don't think I can do this.

Two

I'm pretty sure that I'm gonna hurl.

Three

SHIT SHIT SHIT

Four

He's gonna look so upset I can't take it.

Five

Last chance to abort!

You silenced your thoughts turning the lock and hearing the click signaling it unlocked, you didn't even get a chance to pull the handle before the door was thrusted open revealing your boyfriend leaned against the doorframe with panic written all over his face slightly disheveled.

You could see his body was stiff while his eyes raked your body for any sign of hurt or trouble. But once his eyes finally came back up to your face that was turned away from him staring off to the side. The ache of wanting to be closer thickened in Austin to let his hand find its way to side gently pulling you into his warm chest.

Accepting you wrapped your arms around his midriff proceeding to smush your face into his chest. It felt good to feel his warm body against yours. He snaked his other arms around your waist placing them tightly there as if it was his way of ensuring you weren't going to run off and hide again.  

Even though he wanted to ask you a full report of who? what? when? And where?

He could sense you didn't need that right now.

Rather, he held you as close as he could and began backing yourselves up together all the way to the bed. Turning he slowly lowered himself down on the bed bringing you down against him until you both lie still tangled up with each other in safe silence.

He knew one of your favorite things do was just to just lay up like this and just talk. It was one of the ways he figured out to get you to open up earlier in your relationship when you were just starting out. And it didn't matter where either. Bed, Floor, Hammock.                                                                                  

     Hell, you guys had laid for hours on the ground of Austin's backyard at his old condo looking up at the black sky sprinkled with stars while you both talked about dreams and such. That was also the night he'd asked you to be his girlfriend.

That night quickly became one of the best one's of his entire life.

That's why it troubled him so to see you like this.

Taking his hand to your back, he used his fingertips to lightly draw circles against you as he pieces together what he was going to say next. Meanwhile you were too busy enjoying being enveloped in his warmth and the melodic thump of his heart.

It was serene.

You could hear the muffled sound in his chest of speech as he started to talk, " Now, " He began, " I don't exactly know what happened today. But I figured tonight I won't pry or make you bring up things that you've been carrying with you all day. You've had enough of that. Hopefully we'll be able to talk about whatever it is over some breakfast tomorrow. " He rubbed your back sensing how more relaxed your body was since he'd started doing it.

" With that being said though, I do want to say that since we've been together, I have noticed that when it comes to things bothering you. You aren't always exactly forthright or quick to tell me, and you sometimes hesitate to come and talk to me. And I don't know if it's because you think I'm too busy, or not interested, which I seriously hope not, or even if you feel scared to come and tell me things. Which I definitely hope isn't true." He listed making you sigh.

A tad bit.

" But with you, God, and that pudgy dog in the corner as my witnesses" He teased earning a small giggle from you which satisfied him, " I want you to know that you are without a shadow of a doubt. THEE. Most important thing in my life. Meaning that no matter where I am or who I'm with you should feel comfortable enough to pick up a phone and call me at the slightest feeling of uncertainty or trouble. Not text, baby. Call. " He emphasized by slightly moving to gently squeeze your shoulder.

“I never wanna see you have to get so worked up to the point to where you feel like you need to lock yourself away from me and everything else. I don’t particularly like that baby.” 

" Because everyone around me knows how important you are to me, and I need you to know too! These arms are always ready to be your safe place and I wanna always here for every little thing no matterwhat or where I am." He stated.

Shifting upward a little bit Austin moved so he'd be able to softly cup your chin making you look up to stare into his cobalt eyes that contrasted your carob ones. You could tell that what he was about to say next was important, " I love you, Y/N Y/L/N. That's not changing. And I ain't going nowhere no time soon so I don't care how long it'll take until you fully understand that all of these things I've said to you, I mean it. But trust that one day you won't hesitate, okay?

You nodded not taking your eyes off his. You could feel prickles of water stinging your waterline. What a man.

" Uh Uh, baby. I need to hear your pretty voice say it." The sternness in his voice involuntarily sent a chill down your body.

" Yes, I understand." You spoke making his cheeks break out into a grin.

" Good because the next person you come and tell me is bothering my girl. I'll bite 'em'" He goofed playfully nipping at your exposed cheek. You laughed along with his huskier baritone at the antics.

" Now that we've got this settled. How about we take our hound dog out for a little walk to the Totem to get us a little treat. " He offered brushing his thumb over your burning cheek.

You swore every time he touched you, it was like a match being dragged on your skin. But in the best possible way.

" I'd like that." You agreed.

" Mhmm. And then maybe when we get back, I might have a treat of my own to give you." You proposed pushing you finger to run along his bottom lip.

" I'd like that." He echoed leaning down to capture your lips against his sending you into a fit of giggles once you felt his hands tickle your sides.

[sukirichi]

reckless [01.]

With a lackadaisical playboy as your boss, being reckless wasn’t an option. But on the one time you let loose and made mistakes, your life is shattered, and now you’re playing house with your insufferable boss who is the father of your baby.

✘ cw. explicit smut, accidental pregnancy, playboy! gojo, slight angst

✘ note. dedicated to wifey @7tsumurai​ who also made the banner and always supports me and showers me with love aaaa i love you baby <3 also this fic is mostly romance and fluff so i hope you enjoy this as much as i did writing it! thank you to @chosonore​ for pr-ing UWU. and we get like...10-15 chapters of this?!

one  ✘  two  ✘  three

You shouldn’t be doing this.

The night was young; streaks of gold flashing with the shimmering jewellery collared on your neck, the romantic humming of the violins pairing perfectly with the champagne that fizzed in your hand. It was supposed to be another day at work where you accompanied your boss to one of his events, considering the Casanova refused to bring his girlfriends in fear they might get the wrong idea he liked them outside the bed. It should be just another day at work; you’ve accompanied him hundreds of times before. Today wasn’t any different.

And yet it was.

You blamed it on the alcohol. On the slow dancing. On the fact he hadn’t stopped complimenting you all night and you’d been so stressed, the amount of planning and sleepless nights sacrificed in exchange of preparing for this event made you grab for three more flutes, the touch of your undeniable attractive boss permanent on your waist.

Satoru was equally aggravated. You’d worked him long enough to recognize even the smallest of cues, and the fact you’d spend nearly every hour of the day working with him for weeks straight in the office let you know he needed to let off some steam.

And what better way to relieve both of your tensions if not to give in to the cloud of lust?

The sultry gazes, the clashing perfumes between rose and musk, and the alcohol – the fucking alcohol – that gave way to you succumbing to your desire just this once.

There were no more thoughts – or if there were, they were muddled – as you kissed him back just as passionately, forgetting the fact his stylist spent an hour gelling his hair back to perfection as your eager fingers traced over his scalp. How you ended up in the back of limousine was beyond you, and neither was it your biggest concern when Satoru insisted you kept your heels on; his large hands caressing all the way from the ankle pressed beside his waist up to your waist.

You felt his daft fingers move the lacy thong you wore especially for tonight (not because you expected something, but the boost in confidence felt necessary) before he slides inside almost too easily.

Both your gasps and moans are swallowed in the stuffy compartment, windows fogged saved for the handprint you’d left when he hit a sensitive spot. He was moaning in your neck, skin slippery and sweaty as you slid from one another, seemingly never staying from one place as your hands treaded through his hair down to rake your nails on his back; his touch angry on your hips before his thumb found home in your clit.

As much as you hated him, hated his reputation, you couldn’t deny he really earned his title for being an absolute god in sex. You were no virgin, but you’d never felt this good, never felt this alive as bruises began to form in your skin and his lips hungrily sought out yours.

“S-Sir...”

“Satoru,” he corrected through your lips, the kiss barely even one when you were too busy moaning left and right. Satoru hitched your leg up to fold it right beside your waist, allowing him to explore deeper territories that not even you could mark.

His stare on you is perverted; openly wanton as he lets his empyrean gaze snake down to where your bodies connected. It was embarrassing to be this spread wide open for him, though it didn’t matter much, not when you clutched onto his bicep for dear life and panted breathlessly. He was kissing you everywhere – smearing your lipstick all over your lips and his, a stain of red on his hard, white collar and love bites marked deep into your collarbones and under your breasts. You tightened around him once he changed his rhythm into a more sensual one; the quick pace replaced with him pulling out slowly – inch by delicious inch until you felt empty with each growing second – before slamming back inside with fervidity that he never quite possessed behind his desk.

He groaned at your walls clenching down on him, his hips stuttering in the process. “Call me Satoru.”

“Satoru,” you moaned out, and his next sounds were pained. Pained because you sounded too gorgeous, felt too good, and with you following his hips thrust by thrust, neither of you would last any longer. Not even as you shake your head, lips swollen as you remind him, “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“We shouldn’t,” he agreed with a curled lip, sweat beading from the streaks of his white hair. “But I want you – god, you’re so beautiful tonight. Need to fuck you good—”

Gojo Satoru, one of the most eligible bachelors in the entire South East Asia and ranked as the second richest man in his early twenties, was a man of his word despite his reputation. Just as he was praised and fawned over for his beauty, charisma, and power, he was equally hated for breaking the hearts of women and treating his past ‘lovers’ like they were objects. The news were so confident of it; that he fooled them, played around with them, but behind the scenes, you knew Satoru wouldn’t do such a thing – from the first time he laid his eyes on someone, he made it extremely clear they were not to be attached. Everything with him was physical and sensual – anything beyond that would simply be out of character.

You weren’t surprised that he really did keep his word and fuck you good, because you couldn’t feel your legs the next morning and even though it had been hours, you still very much felt the shape of him carve through you.

The bastard wouldn’t stop laughing, of course, snickering under his breath every now and then each time he saw you grimace from doing simple things such as standing up and giving him the files he asked for. Perhaps it was because your dislike for him was apparent that Satoru quickly went back to fooling around, pretending you didn’t exist and only approaching you when need be. There were still moments you had to clean his mess up for him; taking his drunken phone calls at 3am because he got wasted in a bar, or doing the same for his current sex buddy who he didn’t want to stay in his home.

He was terrible, terribly awful that you despised this part of him.

You were only grateful enough that neither of you brought that night up ever again, for no matter how immensely hellish of an experience it had been, it was also something you’d really rather not be reminded of.

But now, there was no more running away from it. The truth stared at you blatantly in the form of two white lines that had appeared four times already from previous tests.

You were pregnant.

The world had never been that heavy on you. You had a rough upbringing, but it was a household filled with love and patience that it was innate in your nature to keep strong, be levelled, continue moving forward even during the times it felt like everyone and everything was going against you. You’d been through so much worse and you can do this, but you still couldn’t stop the tears that pushed from your eyes, your heart shattering the same time you dropped the stick.

“No, we won’t cry, it’s okay. I can handle this – I’m strong,” you repeated to yourself like a mantra, taking deep breaths to stabilize yourself. Clearly, this was unexpected, but you wanted to do your best, had to do your best. You didn’t have time to lose your composure, so you quickly fished your phone out your purse to dial the person you trusted the most.

“Rei...?”

Your best friend picked up on the second dial. “Sweetheart, where have you been?! I’ve been calling you for like hours now and you’re not picking up, I heard you called in sick for work and you never do that even when you’re about to pass out!” Some shuffling could be heard from the background before she spoke again, her tone a lot more gentle in response to your muted sniffles. “Is there something going on? Do you need me to drop by there right now? Tell me what you need; I’ll be there right away.”

“No, no, Rei, it’s fine, I just...”

“Sweetie,” she sighed, “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

You nodded even though she couldn’t see it. Rei had been there for you in everything, starting from when you newly arrived in the city; fresh-eyed and hopeful for new opportunities. She’d been there when you first complained your boss was a creepy flirt, all the way until you’d made peace with said boss and remained firm in your boundaries. But those boundaries had clearly been crossed – no, rather, you erased those boundaries. You were drunk enough to give in to the need to be touched, but sober enough to consent to everything that happened. You couldn’t place this all on him.

“I’m pregnant,” you said eventually, voice barely above a whisper as you added, “And Satoru’s the father.”

Rei stopped munching on her – you assume – bagel.

“Satoru? Gojo Satoru, your boss, bonafide casanova, the face on billboards and one of the most “eligible” bachelors in the country, billionaire Gojo Satoru?” she let out in one breath, the image of her flipping her hand out in the air in disbelief as clear as day. “Am I really hearing this right? I’m not going crazy, am I?”

You sighed.

“We were drunk. I slept with him.”

“Did that bastard force himself on you?”

“No, gosh, never,” you defended with widened eyes, sitting back down on the toilet with the lid now closed. You couldn’t look at the tests even if you dared yourself to, the plastic bag concealed in the garbage or else you’d feel sick all over again. “I-I wanted it too...we just got carried away and the night was just...I don’t know. I don’t know what came over me and why I did that, but there’s no point in fretting about it because I’m carrying his baby now.”

“Well,” she started unsurely, “What are you going to do?”

“I’m keeping it. There’s no way I would even consider abortion.”

“But what about him?”

The back of your head throbbed in pain. Just thinking about his stupidly handsome face made you want to throw up once more. “I don’t really want to tell him, but he has a right to know that he’s going to be a father.”

“Will he even take responsibility for it?”

You swallowed nervously, nibbling on your thumbnails before snatching your hand away. Composure was something you didn’t struggle with; you were the more reliable one in the duo of you and Satoru, but you had a bad habit of picking on your nails whenever you were anxious. Had it not been for Satoru flicking your nails away from your mouth each time you dazed out a little bit, you would’ve never gotten rid of the habit, but it all came crashing back down on you in an instant.

A heavy knot formed in your belly.

“Most likely not, I know how he’s like. He loves his single life so much that he’d never allow to be tied down like this. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he tells me he doesn’t want it.”

“What an asshole!”

“Yeah, he is, but I don’t need him in my life,” you reinstated, finally feeling more confident the longer you talked to Rei. She was your instant hype machine in more ways than one; her presence itself gave you the reassurance you could handle everything your way. With hope blooming in your chest, you picked yourself of the toilet and wiped away your tears. You could do this – you can handle this. Not just for you, but this baby growing in you as well.

“In our life. I’m more than capable of taking care of the baby myself,” you told her, gaze hard and determined as your sunken reflection stared back at you in the mirror. Sighing, you shook your head and pictured Satoru’s face, already picturing a thousand ways this could go wrong. Only one way to find out.

“I have to go now. He needs to hear about this and then I’ll resign. Probably move back home – anywhere that’s away from him.”

“Doesn’t the baby deserve to meet their dad?”

“Their dad doesn’t even want to be one,” you muttered bitterly and threw your sweater back on, refusing to kick yourself around any harder. Now wasn’t the time to be illogical; you were now a mother and had to be responsible now more than ever. But first, you needed some well-deserved rest after endless agonizing of missing your period, along with the baby drop that until now, had shook you to your core. “I’ll call you back, Rei. I’m very tired.”

“You let me know if you need anything, okay?” Humming in response, you ended the call and crawled back to bed.

It wasn’t that you felt lonely, but you didn’t feel particularly belonging anywhere. You were far from home in a city that felt like the future, and each day you come home, it was mostly just a place to rest before you went back to work the next day. It was a dull, empty routine that you’d gotten used to, but never had it sunk deep into you that you did felt completely hollow.

But not anymore.

You were with your baby now, and as much as it scared you shitless to be a mother with zero preparation and knowledge, you were confident things were going to be okay.

Wrapping an arm around your belly, you had the best sleep you’d had in years.

You’d just have to worry about tomorrow. Hopefully, and you quite prayed harder than you ever did before, Satoru would let you go and keep things less complicated than it already was.

“No,” Satoru shook his head, his words dropping like a heavy boulder in the middle of nowhere. You stood in front of him shock still, hands wrung solid beneath your belly. Satoru merely shook his head, brushing back his gelled hair with a dry laugh. “No, what are you even thinking? You’re not resigning.”

You pursed your lips. “I wasn’t really asking for permission, Sir.”

Truth be told, you expected this sort of reaction from him. It may be true that you and Satoru never got along in personal levels since he was too crass and you much stiff, but it couldn’t be denied you worked well together. You balanced each other’s flaws and brought out the best in one another. If someone had asked you years ago prior to you being employed by the heir if you could even tame the renowned free spirited man, you would’ve said probably not, but after sharing struggles and quite literally forcing one another to do better, you both reached highs neither expected to achieve.

It was an experience and a whole lot lessons learned working with him.

Unfortunately, all things must come to an end, and you had to leave even if Satoru negated to it.

“We’ve been working together for years. Do you know how many people I fired and have resigned all because they’re not equipped for the job?” he plopped down atop his desk, loosening his tie out of frustration. The simple gesture made you swallow and look away – it felt impossible to look at him any other way than a boss now that you had his baby inside you. Thankfully, Satoru was mouthy as usual that he pulled you back from your train of thoughts as he gestured between the both of you. “You and I are perfectly compatible – I can’t let you go like that. I’m sorry, but I need you. There’s no one else I can work with this functionally. No one else is as willing to tolerate my bullshit except you and...I need you to stay.”

You clenched your teeth at the desperation in his voice.

Satoru admitting he needed people was one thing. But him asking others to stay? It may have just been for your value as the only person who had put up with him in both his best and worst times that made him feel that way, but you had to keep your foot down on the ground.

You wouldn’t let him sway you like this.

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes and willed all your energy to spring forth. “Sir...I’m more than thankful for all the opportunities, it truly was a pleasure working with you but—”

“Is this because we slept together?” he cut you off, your shoulders tensing. Upon your silence, Satoru heaved himself away from the desk and took cautious step towards you, stopping a foot away when you stepped back defensively.

You almost wished you didn’t know him so well. His eyes shone with a flicker of hurt before he masked it just as quick as it had came – for Gojo Satoru was a master of many things, and a great actor was one of them. Cautious, you had to be cautious, and you clenched your fists behind your pencil skirt as you tore your gaze away from his pleading ones. “It is, isn’t it?” he affirmed with a clear of his throat, looking just as lost as you did. Satoru stuttered for a minute before he eventually composed himself, but even then, he didn’t sound half as sure as he wanted to be.

“Listen, whatever happened that night, we can forget about it if you want. We’re both adults and professionals – we can put this aside us and just go back to normal. You don’t have feelings for me, right? So then it shouldn’t be a big deal.”

“Satoru...it’s not like that.”

“Then what is it?” he demanded, aggravated. Satoru began to round his desk and pulling out little white envelopes, stacking them before you in a haste. “Do you want a pay raise? A new car so you could get to work easily? O-or perhaps a bigger house where you can work more comfortably, somewhere nearer to the office? All you have to do is tell me and I’ll give you what you want. There’s no need for you to resign, this company has given you everything and we’ve got so much offer just as you could still be great—”

“I’m pregnant.”

Satoru’s slender fingers halted around the pen hovering over a cheque slip. “What?”

“I said I’m pregnant,” you exhaled, biting down on your bottom lip to prevent yourself from quivering. A quick sweep from your face to gather sincerity trailed down to your belly, staring at you hard enough as if he had the ability to look through your soul. “And you’re the father.”

“Is that true? Is...is it really mine?”

“Yes sir,” you nodded, “I’m not telling you this because I expect that you’ll be responsible for it. No offense, sir, but I’d really rather raise the baby alone. Plus, I understand that you’ll never settle down or suddenly abandon your old ways just to—”

“Stop right there,” he raised a palm, “You mean to tell me you’re resigning because you thought I wouldn’t take responsibility for it? For you?”

The hurt in his voice and expressions were evident, lip curled in disgust; not for you, but rather of himself. Satoru was the type of man that couldn’t be withered down even with the harshest of rumours; you’d never seen him be affected before by tabloids and nasty ex-girlfriends who only slept with him for money or fame, only to talk smack about him afterwards. But now, he was crumbling before you, and you didn’t know quite what to say or feel over the vulnerability present in his cerulean eyes. It almost pained you know that you caused this – for the comforting, blue sky to be tainted with a thunderstorm that hinted of anger, of disappointment, of betrayal.

But could he blame you for not thinking the best of him?

“I’ve worked with you for years, sir, I know you.”

“Clearly not well enough,” he chuckled sarcastically, “Admittedly, I’m surprised, but not upset. The only thing that I’m upset about is that you actually believed it would be better to raise the baby – our baby – alone like I don’t even have a right to be in their life. Sure, it was an accident, but we made that. That’s our child and I’m going to take care of you and be a great father, even if you don’t think I’m capable of it.”

“Sir, I didn’t mean—”

“That’s the first time you said something stupid. That’s our baby. We’re a family now,” Satoru’s hesitance had vanished into thin air as he was on you the next instant, hands shaky before they landed on your shoulders. It was meant to be a comforting gesture; a reassuring one, yet you couldn’t help but flinch and falter under his gaze. As if getting the message, he quickly retracted his hands and shoved them deep inside his pockets with a sigh. “You don’t need to resign or worry about anything else. I promise I’ll give you both the life you deserve, just...just please don’t go. Now that I know we have a baby, there’s just no way I can let go of this and pretend I never heard of this at all.”

You swallowed, rubbing your sweaty palms on your skirt.

Out of all the different scenarios you stayed up late at night to turning your head in one by one, none of them included this. Undeniably, he was an asshole to most, but maybe he was right.

He hadn’t done anything wrong to you and he was still the father of your baby; he deserved a chance. Satoru had the right to be the father he was willing to be. You could already tell this might completely turn into one big mess, but his eyes were so hopeful, his smile so nervous yet expectant that you couldn’t help but say –

“Okay,” you relented.

His reaction was instantaneous. Satoru beamed and lounged at you, arms wide open for an embrace before realizing at the last second you could stab him with a pen and not regret it. One warning glare sent his way and he was retracing his arm behind his head, pretending to stretch with an off-tune whistle.

The sudden switch between pained and enthusiastic gave you whiplash, but you really shouldn’t be surprised. This was Gojo Satoru in the first place – he was as unpredictable as nothing was permanent and lasting to him.

It could be both a blessing and a curse.

For the sake of your baby, you genuinely hoped it was the former.

Not wanting him to get too ahead of himself since you still didn’t trust him enough, you raised a finger to poke him in the chest. Right now, you were no longer his secretary that openly despised him but added six sugar cubes in his coffee just as he liked anyway, but rather a woman who shared this mess with him, and as the mother of his child. You had to be strong. Being with Satoru felt like playing with fire, and you had far too much at stake – both of you did – but you weren’t privileged and fortunate like Satoru. One bad thing thrown his way could be brushed off, but for you? Everything you worked hard for could disappear just like that.

If you really chose now to play with fire, you had to be careful not to be the gasoline that ignited things to burn down into ashes.

“Satoru,” you stressed with your lips pressed into a thin line, “The only thing I expect from you is to be is a good father to our child. I know that it would be difficult for you to be a new person in a day and that your old habits won’t die right away, so please do what you can to be a good parent, and I’ll be with you every step of the way. I promise you don’t have to worry about me getting in the way of your life as well.”

His smile slowly vanished.

“Is that how low you really think of me?” he echoed rather sadly, “That I would still sleep around knowing I’ve got a family now?”

“We’re not a family, Sir. I have no intentions of marrying you nor would I ever want it. I’m just staying for the baby.”

“Fine. For the baby, let’s both do our best,” he crossed his arms on his chest, pumping out the hard muscles from how tight his shirt was. You were stuck between wanting to slap him or be closer to him; the hormones too much of a mess that you had to grip your thigh for restraint. “But tomorrow, you’re moving in with me. I’m going to take care of you from now on – I’ll get you whatever you need so whatever it is, just tell me. My credit card is yours to use as well.”

Move in with him? You wanted to laugh. That was the last thing you would want to happen.

“Sir, it’s fine, I’m capable of taking care of myself.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t, but I want to take care of you both,” he reiterated, growing slightly annoyed from your rigidness. You professed that you were being difficult right now, but it was much better than being easy around someone like him.

“We don’t have to be friends or lovers, alright? I know you don’t see me that way and I’m probably repulsive in your eyes – which is understandable since you always clean my mess up for me – but as a father, at least, let me do my job. There doesn’t have to be anything between us other than a mutual want to be good parents. Is that alright with you?”

You mulled the thought over in your head. So he was capable of being sensible sometimes, and after a few moments of silence, you narrowed your eyes at him.

Still suspicious and your guard was most definitely still up, but he was right. You both had a mutual want to be good parents and that was the most important thing right now. Everything else that complicated matters would be handled afterwards.

“I’m okay with that, but I would have to set down lots of boundaries if I’m living with you.”

“So you’ll really stay with me then?” You regretted nodding in response because Satoru was now fishing his phone out, a goofy smile on his face.

He took the news...surprisingly well, and you didn’t know what to make of it.

“Perfect! I’ll have your room prepared!” You tried to grab his arm to stop him from going overboard; knowing full well Satoru always had rushes in which he impulsively overdoes things. He might turn your room into some sort of grand suite that you wouldn’t really like, but he was far too excited and lost in his own thoughts that your words went from one ear and out the other. “Fuck,” he laughed to himself, “I’m going to be a dad.”

Whether it was relief or anxiety that bubbled through you, you had no idea.

It was definitely anxiety.

Satoru felt like a hyper child to be around, and as much as you were grateful that he was happy about this, you also wished he would calm down. You didn’t even have enough chance to settle in before he’s shoving you inside room by room, announcing that what was his was also yours and he would have a baby room set up next week.

You followed him around like a puppy as he marched into the kitchen, mumbling incoherently to himself about baby proofing furniture.

“Sir,” you called out, “Sir, listen to me. We need to talk about boundaries.”

Satoru blinked owlishly at your tired eyes, sheepishly smiling at you. It must’ve dawned on him that his speed tour of his penthouse felt a lot more overwhelming than welcoming, and he sat you down on the island stools before drumming his fingers impatiently on the cool marble. “Sorry, you were saying? I kind of got carried away.”

Carried away was far an understatement.

“I said, we need to talk about boundaries.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” he paused with a furrow in his brow. “Also can you just call me Satoru? We’re going to be parents anyway and it’s awkward if you keep uh, calling me Sir.”

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes, not really in the mood to argue with him right now. You had to keep intact with him while you still had his full attention. Taking out a little notepad you prepared the night before, you slid it over Satoru who tilted his head to the side rather cutely to read it. “So here are my boundaries. One, I don’t want this pregnancy to be announced in the media unless I’m ready. I understand that we can’t keep this a secret forever but I need time to process this. Two, just because we’re living in the same roof together doesn’t mean that I get to go anywhere and everywhere with you. I’m going to work by myself—”

“No.”

“What do you mean no?”

“I said no,” he repeated more firmly this time. “You’re pregnant and I want to make sure you’re safe at all times. I’m driving you to work.”

“Didn’t you just hear what I said? I don’t want to be seen with you.”

“You’re my secretary. People see us together all the time.”

“But you never drove me to work! I live far from the office and I most definitely don’t drive an Audi.”

“Things change, that’s your life now,” Satoru shrugged nonchalantly, stealing the pen you twirled in your hands. The sudden contact sent jolts of electricity from your knuckles, one that had you recanting your hands back to yourself. Satoru didn’t seem to notice as he crosses out the second rule, “Sorry not sorry but I don’t want to let you go places like that. Fine by me if you don’t want me to drive you, but at least have one of the chauffeurs take you somewhere if you really don’t wanna be seen with me.”

“Fine,” you gritted your teeth. Compromise, compromise, meet in the middle – you repeated to yourself to keep your sanity. “Rule number three: I don’t want you changing your attitude around me. We may have a baby on the way, but you’re still my boss and I want to keep our relationship professional.”

“You’re saying I’m not allowed to fall in love with you?”

You flicked his forehead, effectively erasing the teasing grin he wore. “That’s not going to happen,” you interjected irritably, although your heart skip a beat. That was a massive red flag already; you could never be too comfortable with him. For Satoru, his little comments here and there may come naturally and probably meant nothing to him, but there was a chance you could receive it with different interpretations. Shaking your head at him, you ignored his grumblings on how ‘mean’ you were. “We’re never going to be a couple. We’re just raising a child together. I don’t want you acting weird or too comfortable with me.”

Satoru scratched the side of his head as he mulled about it, “Are we allowed to be friends, at least? I understand the professional part, but I can’t imagine the both of us getting along for nine months and more when we act like boss and employee even alone at home,” before you could say anything, Satoru raised his hands in surrender. “I promise I won’t do anything weird to you. No offense, but you’re not really my type, so same as you, I view you platonically.”

Right. The heart surely was stupid and confusing.

You didn’t want him getting any ideas that this could lead to something more, but at the same time, it hurt a little to know you weren’t his type.

Hiding that pang of hurt behind a tight lipped smile, you forced yourself to agree with him. “I view you professionally, Sir.”

“Satoru.”

“Whatever,” you grumbled. “Rule number four: don’t bring home any of your fuck buddies or flavour of the night. I really don’t care if you sleep around, but respect my privacy and my standing as the mother of your childIf you’re really desperate to get your dick wet, go fuck them somewhere else.”

“You’ve never been this vulgar with me.”

He wasn’t wrong about that. Despite countless of times that he tried being friendly with you to ease your stiffness in the office, you always shot him down.

You came to the city to work and provide for your family, not to be friends with your annoyingly hot boss who enjoyed his life way too much. Unlike him, you were more work than play, and eventually Satoru respected the fact you would never speak or treat him casually.

Until now.

“Try being in my shoes and see if you’d still have the patience of a saint,” you mumbled under your breath, sighing when Satoru’s smile got more awkward. “Listen, Satoru, I don’t mean to be difficult, okay? It’s just...this is a lot. This isn’t just us about anymore – we’re going to be parents and that’s a huge responsibility. It’s not only our lives changing here, a child will be relying on us in the future and I simply want to be a good mother, but I also don’t trust you very well to be comfortable enough to act like we’re suddenly friends.”

“I understand that.”

“Good.”

“Do you have rule number five?”

“No, not really, but I can add more as we go.”

“I have a rule number five,” he piped in, flipping the notepad his way as he scribbled something down. “And it’s that if you need help – and I mean with anything – you would let me help you. I’ve worked with you for a long time and I’m not dumb enough to not notice you like to do things by yourself. Like you said, things are different now, and especially with this pregnancy, you’re not alone in this. You need to let me take over the wheel sometimes. I can’t be just a passenger in the car – you and I are both in this together.”

“Just keep your hands to yourself.”

“That’s easy,” he chirped, and there was that uncomfortable knot in your chest again. However, it didn’t sink in too deep because Satoru was blatantly staring at your belly, a small smile tugging at his lips. “So do we have a name for them already?”

“Satoru, I’ve only been a few weeks pregnant, I don’t—”

Conflicting his previous statement that he’d keep his hands to himself, Satoru suddenly dropped to his knees. You watched with wide eyes, too flabbergasted to move as he places his ear on your belly.

“Hi there, little one,” he spoke in a soft tone, large hands caressing the tiny bump beginning to form. You couldn’t move; hell, you could barely breathe from how comforting his touch seemed in contrast to your mind ringing warning bells above. His voice quickly pulled you back to reality as he flattened his palm, white lashes fluttering against the cotton of your shirt. “I’m your daddy; I can’t wait to meet you. Daddy promises to take good care of you and make you the happiest kid ever, alright? You don’t have to worry about anything as long as I’m here.”

“D-don’t spoil them too much, Satoru.”

“I’ll try not to,” he chuckled. Satisfied with that small moment he had, he straightened up and trudged over the dining table that was far too big for a man who lived alone. In that moment, an image flashed in your mind – that someday that table would no longer look empty as you and your child shared meals with him. You could already imagine how heavenly the sun would shine on the glass windows behind it, the flowers gathered in the middle of the table blooming to life.

Out of nowhere, it struck you.

Could it be that this was why he loved this baby so much after only knowing about it for a few days? Could it be that Satoru really was alone?

“Okay, we should probably have a welcoming dinner! The chefs left me something tonight. I forgot what it’s called but I think you’ll like it. Grab some wine on the cellar for me?”

“Satoru, I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, right! My bad,” he clapped his hands together before pulling out ceramics and a cold pitcher, “Just water for mommy then,” Satoru said absentmindedly, completely oblivious to how your mind short-circuited a few feet away from him. He went about his way ignorant to it all and gently tugged you to sit with him, eagerly digging into the heated meals as you realized both of you hadn’t eaten.

For a guy who talked a lot, dinner with him was surprisingly quiet. Other than the occasional clinking of utensils against the plate, you enjoyed the silence with him.

You wouldn’t have believed it to be possible since Satoru made it his daily business to always fill in the gaps. Peace and comfort stretched before you the whole time, however, that for a moment, just a short moment, you found yourself letting your guard down. Even when you both caught each other’s in the middle of a bite, you found no tension or awkwardness in it. Perhaps it was the familiarity of being beside each other for years now that this should feel natural, or maybe it was because you both mutually agreed on wanting the best for your baby. Whatever it was, you didn’t want to overcomplicate it right now.

“You know, I’m really excited about this. I can’t believe I’m actually going to be a father,” he mused through a bite, swirling his red wine through his glass. Satoru gazed at his reflection almost dreamily, seemingly too deep in thought that he felt far from reach.

Or maybe you were the one who was detached, the one who kept pushing him away, because you could offer him nothing but a lame nod. “I’m glad to hear that...”

“What about you? You don’t look too happy.”

Your eyes widened at his worry. “No, I-I’m happy, of course. It’s just...it’s unplanned, and I’ve had my whole life planned out that I’m not really sure how this will all fall into place together.”

“Hey,” he laced his fingers with yours, squeezing warmth back into your skin that you hadn’t noticed turned cold from the nerves. Unlike his usual self with eyes brimming with glee, you could only see tenderness in him now, some sort of silent vow through a private smile shared only between the two of you in that moment in the solace of his home. Your home. “I promise I’ll be there for you and the baby every step of the way. I know that I haven’t had the best reputation and I have zero idea on parenting, but you’re not alone in this. You can trust me on this one, just like how we always trusted each other during work. Being a parent and running a business are both responsibilities right?”

“Yeah...”

“Well then you already know we work well together. We’re great partners!” he cheered, patting your shoulder way too bro-like. You resisted the urge to cringe. “We’ll be great parents, Y/N. I’m sure of that.”

Unsure of what else to do, you squeezed his hand back. He was right, you would be great parents as long as both of you never gave up. The thought of eating meals with him again with another addition to the table made you smile, and you hadn’t noticed you were spacing out, thumb running over his knuckles that were smooth for a man who never knew a day of hard labour. It wasn’t until you felt something prodding at you metaphorically, and you chuckled nervously as you saw Satoru smiling mysteriously at you.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing,” he grinned, “I’ve just never seen you this close before; not so much that I paid attention anyway. But this is nice – having you here, I mean. It gets lonely here sometimes.”

“Don’t you bring your girlfriends around?”

“I never make them stay,” was all he said, and just like that, whatever thread that was beginning to form snapped. Satoru released his hold on you and gestured to your plate, carrying the dishes in his hand before leaving you alone on the table. Like always – a whiplash. “I’ll clean up, you can rest in your room now. I’ll take care of the dishes.”

“Do you even know how to do them?”

“Yeah, my mother forced me to wash dishes because she didn’t want me to rely on the house help too much,” he informed, the new information shocking you right to the core as he put on dishwashing gloves and started scrubbing. From this angle, he sure looked damn nice and domestic in just a white shirt, hair ruffled down to bangs.  “I’ll be right there with you,” Satoru announces casually, spinning on his heel with red cheeks once he realized what he said. “For just a goodnight, I mean! We’re not sharing rooms!”

“Yeah, no,” you coughed out, “We’re definitely not.”

It felt…surreal, to wake up in a room much grandiose than yours yet felt like home even for the first night. Satoru handled your moving in rather happily; you found him singing to himself this morning as he brewed his own coffee before realizing you were right behind him, sleepy as you lazily made waffles for the both of you. Everything flowed nicely and normally, like this had always been a normal thing that for a moment, you questioned once more what would happen next.

You were now getting ready for work, hands tugging at his tie because he was such a man-child who couldn’t even properly knot his own tie. His suit was custom tailored and he looked effortlessly gorgeous – beauty ripped straight from magazines he was constantly a front page of, but his tie was skewered and loose that it irritated you.

“You’re such a mess without me.”

Satoru bent down to wiggle his brows at you, thought you didn’t notice because he wouldn’t stay still for you to fix his tie fast enough. “Isn’t this sweet; you fixing my tie for me as we both get ready for work?” he teased, “We’re like a married couple already.”

“If you don’t shut up, I’m kicking you in the nuts.”

“Then how can I give you more babies?” picking up the newspaper on the coffee table beside you, you rolled it and started whacking him, a string of profanities colorfully painting his otherwise monochrome and sleek walls. Satoru’s laughter boomed all over the room even as he wiggled away from you, clutching his bicep that had been the victim of your abuse. “Ow, ow, I was joking! Jeez, woman, you are strong. Fight men a lot like this?”

“I work with you. My fighting instincts are always activated.”

His laugh really was annoying. But it did help ease your nerves – though you’d never tell him that – as you sat beside him in his car, the expensive leather seats no longer strange to you. It would’ve felt like any other day where you accompanied him somewhere, except the reason was different now, and it came crashing down on you of your current situation that things were undeniably different from now on.

You immediately stepped away from him the moment you got out of the car, clutching your clipboard to your tummy when Satoru bumped his shoulder with yours. “Come closer, it’s fine. No one will suspect a thing,” he points to the crowded building with people bumping and walking past each other, everyone too occupied in their own heads to even notice you.

It wasn’t much, but hearing his voice and reassurances relaxed you, even for just a little bit. Maybe your first day at work after the baby news wouldn’t be so bad, after all, but it seemed you had spoken too early.

Satoru heavily insisted that you worked inside his office from now on.

Your desk was located right outside his office, the phone line always within reach in case you needed to pass calls to him or if he needed you to come. Satoru preferred the privacy of his own space – or so he said; he actually just didn’t want you to witness him slacking around and experience your wrath – but now he was dragging you inside his office, pushing your shoulders down until you were ‘settled in.’

You didn’t even want to ask where he got a new desk from, or why it had to be right across from him. His desk remained elevated on a few levels, the welcoming lobby of the room filled with couches and stacks of coffee with a rich amount of sugar cubes.

Safe to say, most of the morning was spent (or rather, wasted) on you telling Satoru off. The man was too persistent, coming in on the office at random times of the hour with either snacks or heaps of biscuits on his arms. He always greeted you with a wide grin on his face, only to be kicked out of his own office because you had his hellish schedule and events to deal with. That was around three hours ago when you’d asked him to shut up and go bother someone else. You were halfway around finishing your workload for today when the door swung open, a tuft of white hair and mischievous eyes peeking through.

“Hey! Just checking in on mommy—”

“Satoru!”

“What? It’s just you and I,” he defended with a shrug, welcoming himself inside. Surprisingly, he was empty handed, though the pout on his lips told you it was against his will. “Seriously though, do you need anything? Do you want snacks? Tea? Do you need help going to the bathroom? You haven’t moved in your desk for an hour now.”

“Satoru, I’m pregnant, not disabled,” you ignored him for a while, resuming to working back on his schedule for the month. There were a bunch of e-mails you still had to respond to, which normally wouldn’t be such a daunting task if Satoru wasn’t shifting his weight from one foot to another, the sounds of his shoes hitting the tiles in an annoying click-clack rhythm getting to you. “Will you stop fidgeting! Your anxiety gives me anxiety, stop that!”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it, I just feel like there’s something I should be doing.”

“Shutting up and letting me work in peace would be great, thank you.”

“You really don’t need anything?” Sending him a warning glare, Satoru sucked in his cheeks and ran back to his desk where he hid behind the safety of his large monitor. “Nope, yeah, I got the message: leave you alone. Good luck with that then, I’ll need those archives to pull up for our meeting with the directors later at five.”

Muttering a sarcastic finally under your breath, you resumed working.

The routine was per usual – answer the calls professionally with a welcoming and sweet voice, a pen always in one hand to jot down notes in reminders, adjust his schedules, work out his plans, go to him whenever he needed to sign something before responding back to e-mails. You were focused as you always were, but someone wasn’t, and it was getting harder and harder to keep being placated.

It didn’t help that he made no effort to hide the fact he was slacking off, the tip-taps of him randomly pressing keys on the keyboard similar to a fork dragging down a plate.

“I can feel you burning holes at the back of my head,” you twittered, “What do you need?”

“Nothing at all. I’m just realizing how beautiful you are right now.”

You paused. Unable to deny your curiosity over how serious he sounded, you spun around in your swivel chair. Satoru had his chin on his hands as he stared right back at you, his face devoid of expression that you couldn’t pick up on a single clue. “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

You rolled your eyes at him. Of course the bastard would be teasing you, his loud chuckles a painful reminder of that. It was best to ignore him, so you went back to reading e-mails and forced yourself to focus on the task at hand. “We’re at work. Please stop distracting me; I can’t focus when you’re staring at me like a creep.”

“Sorry, babe, I’ll try to be less distracting next time, though I can’t control my charisma, you know!”

You jotted your thumb to your desk outside, “I can walk back to my desk where you can’t see me. That’d be a great for both of us.”

“Stay right there, I was joking!”

“Do you promise to be quiet and actually do your job if I stay?”

“With you disciplining and ordering me around like that, why not?” Mouth open for another heated retort, Satoru stopped you before you could say anything, his aura more serious this time. He was always like this; fooling around and maturing the next second, only for the cycle to repeat and test your patience. “I’m just teasing you, Y/N, I’ll shut up now. You’re free to end work as soon as you’re tired though; the driver is waiting in the parking lot whenever you want to go home.”

“I’ll go home with you.” Home. It felt weird to say that, but also…natural.

“You’ll stay with me at work today?” He sounded genuinely surprised, and you responded with a one-shoulder shrug. That seemed to be enough for him, however, and it wasn’t long before Satoru found the oh so rare and fleeting motivation to work hard.

Once he was settled, sleeves rolled up to expose his veiny forearms and brows furrowed as he centered all his attention on the pile of paperwork before him, there was no stopping him.

Roles reversed and positions switched, you were now the one unable to take your eyes off him.

In this light, in this moment, Gojo Satoru had never looked more beautiful. He was much the same as you in the manner you never really noticed each other this way before; not romantically, but even just person to person. In your eyes, he was nothing but your irritating boss whose boisterous self always crowded over your peace, and in his eyes, you were nothing but his secretary who he knew always silently hoped would leave you alone.

But things were different now. You were different now.

Boundaries there may be, you couldn’t help that fluttering forming in your stomach. Contentment, happiness, relief, nervousness – all of them jumbled into one big mess. Out of them all, however, there was most definitely adoration, either out of respect for his unexpected kindness, or simply because it felt nice to feel for once.

Turning away from him until your back was the only thing he could see, you hid your smile as you secretly held your belly.

You’d never been reckless before, but what was to be a good story when there wasn’t a mistake or two made?

[atinydise]

Ateez reacting to their s/o being protective

❦ Genre: Fluff or Angst for a few members. ❦ Pairing: OT8. ❦ Word count: 5K. ❦ Requested: Yeah, thank you! 🦋

HONGJOONG

Hongjoong is aware of your personality. He couldn’t help but stay surprised every time your mood changes.

One minute, you can be the softest human being on this earth, but right when something bothers you, your facial expression changes to something he is still not used to.

Right now, he was freaking out. Like he never did before.

To put the context, he simply suggested that we watch the latest Marvel movie at the theater.

You wouldn’t refuse for any reason. He was not busy, he wouldn't be distracted by his phone ringing nonstop in his pocket, so there’s no way you would miss this opportunity.

It was one of the nicest dates you had in a while.

He bought the tickets, and you took the popcorn.

In the room, you were holding hands when there were no snacks left. He would never initiate to hold your hand before because he knows how much you like to eat popcorn and watch the movie at the same time.

When credits appeared on the big screen, you stayed there to talk about the most memorable scene.

At the moment the cleaning staff entered the room, you exited the theater.

“Nooo! I disagree.” You laughed. “Zendaya is the sexiest.”

“I thought you liked Tom Holland the most?” He smiled, grabbing your hands to put it in his coat pocket.

“What? How can you compare this amazing woman to-” you paused. “No never mind he's cute too.”

Hongjoong sighed. “You started this debate and finally you can’t choose your favorite?”

“Exactly. That’s what is happening right now.” You laughed.

“The real question is what will happen in the next movie.” He wondered, thinking about the strange ending.

At this moment, a group of 3 men stopped on their way to the theater.

“Hey you!” Called one of them, aggressively.

At the tone of his voice, you furrowed your eyebrows, staring straight at him.

“Yes?” Nicely asked Hongjoong. “Do we know each other?”

“No. You are just the one who spoiled me and my friends.” He clenched his fist.

You couldn’t help but let out a light laugh. 2 of them were now staring at you.

Hongjoong started to freak out. What if they were too aggressive with you?

“Is something funny kid?”

“Kid?” You repeated. “You are the one making a scene for something that you can see in the trailer and I’m the kid one? Shut up.”

“Watch your mouth.” Threatened the tallest of them.

“Or what?” You stepped forward.

“Y/N! Stop!” Hongjoong grabbed your arm, already stepping away from them.

“These pieces of shit need to stop. We were minding our own business before they-”

“Piece of shit?” Repeat the one just in front of you.

“Sorry. I will talk to her.” Bowed Hongjoong, pulling you stronger to him.

“Yeah, calm your dog.”

Your blood made one turn in your body. If Hongjoong wasn’t insisting to get out of here, you would have thrown your bag right on his head.

When your boyfriend made sure to be far away enough, he sat on a bench, rubbing his chest to reduce his heartbeat.

“Are you crazy?” He coughed, his face was red.

“I won’t let them talk to me like this.” You crossed your arms on your chest.

“They were 3!”

“I don’t care.” You replied straight.

“They are taller and stronger than you Y/N!”

“Bullshit.” You sighed. “What am I supposed to do? Listening to them being rude?”

“Do you even care about how much I was worried that something would happen to you?”

“I’m not a doll. Don’t worry about me. You should be worried for yourself first.”

“Are you even listening to me, or nothing can change your mind?” He raised a brow, knowing the headstrong that you are.

“Nothing can change my mind.”

“So, I’m supposed to have a heart attack every time this kind of thing occurs?”

“Exactly.”

“Gosh please…” his head bent back. “Help me with this woman.”

SEONGHWA

You knew that your boyfriend was nice. Even too nice.

No matter who was talking to him badly, he just stays quiet and apologizes for being such a terrible human being.

The first time you witnessed this was at the beginning of your relationship.

The manager was probably stressed this time because he passed his nerves on Seonghwa.

Your boyfriend remained quiet and calm, accepting all the things the manager was blaming him for.

The same night, you asked him why he didn’t say anything.

“Respect” was his only answer.

Okay, you got it, respecting your superiors is important, but he should have said something back.

5 months later, a rude girl, who was pretending to be a supportive fan, threw all his merch at his face.

You were just next to him, completely shocked.

You felt bad because you knew she was mad at him for being in a relationship. But her parents didn’t raise her with respect?

You were absolutely mad. Your blood made one turn in your body, and you almost jumped on her, for being rude and of course for hurting your boyfriend.

Right before you could finish the sentence full of curses, Seonghwa grabbed your wrist and apologized.

You stared at him in shock. He was bending over, quietly apologizing to this girl.

You didn’t know how to react. Was he sorry to be in love with you? Did he feel bad for this?

“Park Seonghwa.” You pushed his hand out of your wrist.

“Y/N-”

You rolled your eyes, hands on your waist. It was a frustration that you never felt before.

“Excuse me, young lady.” You looked right at her.

Because of the glare you gave her, she stepped back, clenching her hand in her uniform skirt.

“Aren’t you supposed to be happy for the people you admire or like the most?”

“Y/N.” Repeated Seonghwa, trying to escape from this situation.

“Since when do people get mad because of love?” You pushed her forehead with your index. Each word seemed like a threat to her.

“If you are unhappy about this situation, just go over it. Don’t waste your time by following him as a real creep just to make a scene and to throw all of your shifty stuff on him.” You raised your voice.

“Y/N that’s enough.” He raised his voice as well and grabbed your arm stronger than before.

The look on his face was almost as scary as yours.

“Why? Why are you so nice to everyone? Can’t you be mad sometimes and accept that some people are bullshit?” You glanced at her at the same time.

“Can you stop being so protective as well? This is so annoying! You are not my mom or my older sister.” He said back.

“Ah, so you can be mean to me but not to other people?” You raised a brow, annoyed.

Seonghwa ignored you and pushed you to the side.

“Sorry for my friend’s behavior.” He bowed once again to the schoolgirl. “I understand that I made you sad and disappointed.”

“I can’t believe it…” you whispered, enraged by his kindness.

Seonghwa managed to calm her and even to make her apologize as well. But you both ignored if it was because of the look, you gave her the whole time.

When she disappeared, leaving all the merch on the dirty floor and your boyfriend a bit surprised by this situation, you said:

“Now can we talk, or you are still denying that you are too kind?”

“Y/N, it’s the way I am. Don’t try to change me for something that I’m not.”

“Seonghwa! I hate seeing people taking advantage of you.” You replied.

He gave you a soft smile and brushed your cheek softly. “Stop worrying for me. I know what I am doing.”

You wanted to say a ton of things to him.

“That’s what I’m scared of…” you sighed.

YUNHO

It was a secret for nobody that you would fight every time it was needed, for Yunho.

Your boyfriend took this personality trait of yours as a gift.

When an altercation happens, he knows he can call you or that you would jump on the side and tell everything you want to say.

Maybe sometimes he was a bit worried for you, especially when you were talking back to older people. He knew that you were respectful, but sometimes they were pushing your limits.

Some guys would find it unattractive or would clearly get a problem with their own manhood if their girlfriends were protecting as you do.

It was not Yunho’s case. It was the opposite.

For example, yesterday you went shopping together for Christmas gifts.

Your boyfriend found the best gift for Mingi, a long coat with a tone of patchwork with few streets work graffitis, that he would like for sure.

He was probably not the only one to like it because it was the last one in the alley.

“Babe! Look at this!” He smiled widely, showing the coat hanging by his large hand.

“Oh! This is perfect!”

The coat was not really to your taste, but Mingi would wear it every time he could for sure. Plus, you absolutely wanted to go back home to watch the last episode of your show that you binged the entire week.

You didn’t have the time to step closer to Yunho, to look at the coat in detail, that a woman came behind him and gripped the piece of clothes too.

“Sorry I saw it first.”

Yunho’s face turned into an embarrassing facial expression.

“My son wants it.” She pointed at the teenager at the other side of the alley, who was clearly into another coat.

“Sorry Madam, but it would be the perfect gift for one of my closest friends.” He apologized softly, bowing a tiny bit.

“But I saw it first.” She repeated, already raising her tone so people around could hear the situation.

Your boyfriend started to stutter, gripping the coat strongly.

For a second, your eyes met, and you knew what you had to do.

You sighed and nodded at him. It was your time to shine.

You tapped her shoulder, making her turn. You absolutely hated the look on her face.

“Ma’am. You know that if you want something, you need to take it before someone else takes it.” You gently said.

“I don’t care if I saw it first.”

Does she know something else than this sentence?

“But my boyfriend is holding it. And sorry for your son, but we are buying it.” You bowed a bit.

“I’m holding it too! Can’t you see?” She shook her hands, gripping into a patchwork pattern.

Yunho saw the tiny vein on your forehead popping up. He was already sorry for the son’s mother.

“Ma’am we-”

“Don’t be so disrespectful. We didn’t teach you at school to not talk back to older people?”

“I talk back to dumb people like you.” You sighed.

Yunho’s heart made a turn in his chest.

“Sorry?” She yelled louder.

“I can scream too!” You raised your tone like her.

“You are completely crazy!” She concluded. “Just give me this coat.”

She started to pull it to her, hoping that Yunho’s grip would be weaker by the time.

You interfered and pushed your boyfriend to the side to take his place. You made a quick nod to him and whispered to him to hide for a second. If fans were here, he would have a problem.

Knowing that you would win this no matter what, he stepped into the other alley, acting as a random client.

“Let it go!” She yelled.

“You! Let it go!”

“I saw it first.”

“Liar!”

You were acting like 2 children fighting for a lollipop when finally, an employee came to you, trying to persuade one of you to order it on the website.

Of course, you had the last words. Yunho was wondering how you could think of so many excuses to buy it now. He was completely admirative.

The older lady couldn’t stop cursing at you, but you didn’t care, you were the one going back home with the coat tonight.

Finally, Yunho joined you back in the queue.

He let out a quick chuckle when he saw your messy hair. You didn’t fight physically but it seemed.

Instead, he put his arm around your shoulders and gave you a warm kiss on the forehead.

“Thank you, angel.”

You simply nodded and smiled at him.

He knew that when you are next to him, he can't lose.

YEOSANG

In the bus heading to Yeosang’s hometown, you could see how nervous he was.

The family reunion wasn’t his thing, especially when his uncle is here.

You never saw anyone stupid as him. He’s so gross, rude, and sexist.

Because of the cultural difference, you never said anything, even if sometimes you wanted to jump on him and break his nose for talking like this to your boyfriend.

At the last stop before his parents’ home, you grabbed his hand and he tightened it strongly. He was taking all the strength he needed.

Now, it’s been 2 hours that you were hearing his uncle talking rudely to everyone and throwing 2-3 sexist “jokes” at every woman in the room.

He was talking about their weight, even if they were skinny or chubby, their career, and even the way they were dressing.

You didn’t receive one yet. And it was better for him because you couldn’t help it to reply too.

In the middle of the delicious meal, you immediately asked his mom the recipe after only one try, Yeosang was his uncle's target.

“So Yeosang? We don’t see you anymore now that you are wearing clothes and applying makeup to dance on stage.” He smirked.

Yeosang chuckled, completely embarrassed, and made an excuse.

“We were busy this year.”

“At my age, dancing ridiculously on stage wasn’t a career.”

“Yeah, prehistoric age I guess.” You whispered.

Yeosang’s aunt snored next to you.

“Do you borrow Y/N clothes on stage?” He laughed.

You raised a brow. For the first time today, your name came out of his mouth.

“No, we have our own.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “Because when I see you on TV, I only see you in tight clothes. I was wondering if it was your girl outfit since she’s dressed so sexily.”

You gagged. This comment from him was the most disgusting thing you ever heard.

“You know what we say Y/N.” He looked at you. “Tight clothes but not legs.”

Yeosang’s hand gripped on his chopsticks.

You were in shock but decided to play the silence card. The entire table was embarrassed and quiet. Only his dry laugh could be heard.

“Come on, it’s a joke.” He finally stated.

In your head, he was murdered at least 7 times.

“But anyway, congrats Yeosang. You were so useless and so bad at school that I wouldn’t actually believe that you would give money to your parents someday.” He sipped his drink.

“Sir.” You finally spoke. “Look around you. Can’t you see that everything you say is rude and mean?”

“Y/N.” Yeosang tried to stop you.

You stood up and bowed to his parents and his family. “I’m sorry but I’m going to be unrespectful for a minute.”

Yeosang tried to make you sit back on the chair, but you simply slapped his hand.

“I can handle you telling me that I’m an easy girl, but I can’t handle you being rude to Yeosang or every woman there is in the room. You are sexist and rude. I’ve never met someone like you before and I hope that I won’t anymore. You are a disgusting pig.” You continued, not even taking your breath back. “You are commenting on everyone's features or lifestyle, but we don’t say anything about you not being married for being such a dick.”

“Y/N!”

“Nobody would actually marry you with this mindset-”

Yeosang stood up, making his chopstick fall in a light noise on the floor.

“Stop it!”

You never saw this expression on his face.

He pulled you out of the room, just before you could see the smile his mom had on her face.

You followed him in the garden. His face was red.

“Y/N! Stop for fucking sake! It’s my uncle!”

“And he shouldn’t talk to you like this! Or to anyone!” You replied.

“Just go.” He rubbed his forehead.

“Yeosang.”

“Just go! I need to fix this mess because of you.”

Without adding anything, he left you there.

You knew what you did was wrong but giving him the right to say everything would be worse.

SAN

Seonghwa and Hongjoong were enjoying a quiet moment at the dorm tonight.

The eldest member was reading a book that had been waiting in the bookshelf for 3 months and the leader was scrolling on his phone, probably on TikTok.

“With no one at home, it feels like our children are grown up now, and left the house.”

“Hm.” Simply replied Hongjoong.

“And you feel like the “I don’t care Dad”...”, he whispered, grumpily.

The living room plunged one more time in a long and steady silence when the door’s code resonated.

They both didn’t have time to realize someone was coming in, that the corridor was filled with curses and screams.

“Here we go again…” whispered Hongjoong.

“What’s happening?” Rushed Seonghwa, curious to see what the reason for this argument was.

“Your friend is stupid!” You replied, passing by him to go to San's room.

“Y/N your shoes-” he whispered when you stepped in with your sneakers on.

“Don’t even bother to try! She’s only listening to herself!”

“Oh, fuck you San!” You yelled from the other room.

Hongjoong had no choice, but to step into something that wasn’t his business. But for the dorm's sake, he needed to help Seonghwa.

“Can you explain what is going on?”

“This girl right there! She can’t help but be rude!”

“Because you let people be rude to you, asshole!” You throw the bag with all your stuff at the entrance.

“They weren't mean to me! You were just jealous!”

“They were mocking your eyes, San! They were just racist! Stop living on this fucking cloud!” You rolled your eyes.

“What? Someone was racist to you?” Asked Hongjoong, completely concerned now.

“No.”

“Yes!” You replied to Hongjoong. “This idiot let them talk about how his eyes were. I just couldn’t let them continue.”

“It’s because you think you are a superhero.”

You growled from frustration. San was living in this perfect world and always thought that people have nice attention toward him. But no, this world is cruel so sometimes they need someone like you to put people back in their places.

“San, this is a big deal.” Spoke Seonghwa, sad that his friend had to be in such a situation.

“I’m a grown-ass man, I can handle myself! I don’t need her to fight people every time something happens to me!”

“I wouldn’t if you could at least tell them that what they did it’s wrong.”

“I did.” He lied.

“No, you didn’t! You stayed there, smiling awkwardly and agreeing about what they were saying.”

You were so mad at him, for not defending himself, but to blame you for doing something he can do. Because he does it with you all the time.

“San…”

“What? What could I do? Imagine if they were fans.”

“Oh pleeease!” You sighed. “Don’t play the “fan card”. If they were fans, they wouldn’t say anything to you.”

“She’s right San.” Agreed Hongjoong.

“Thank you! Finally, someone smart.” You pointed at the elder, relieved that you were not acting crazily.

“Y/N, you should go home, we’re going to talk about this with the manager when everyone is back. We can’t let this kind of thing occur.”

“Yeah, anyway I’m done with him for today.” You gave San a dark stare.

“I’m done with you too!”

“Then call me when you are talking to people like you do with me!” You said, before leaving angrily.

You know that both of you were acting like children, but you were tired of being the meanest between both of you, just because he can put limits.

MINGI

When Mingi decided to ask you to be his girlfriend, he would never imagine that it would be so useful.

During high school, he always saw boys confronting other boys because they asked a random thing to their crushes. So, he was persuaded that the meaning of a relationship was jealousy and being dedicated to your partner.

But with you, it was totally different. You were rarely jealous, and you let him his own pace and space when he needs to.

And the most was how protective you are.

You are the first one to jump into a fight just for your ego, especially Mingi’s one. You don’t really care about what people tell you. And honestly, this is a good thing because with all these paparazzi and fans around, since you made this relationship official, it could have been annoying.

Today, your boyfriend and you were enjoying a night's walk. He was finally back from his tour and now it was the right time for him to relax.

“Do you know what I’ve missed the most during these 3 months?” He asked, taking your hand in his.

“Don’t tell me sex or-”

“Nooo! I would never say this!” He blushed.

You chuckled, happy to see that he was still pure and shy when it comes to this type of intimacy.

“I’m kidding,” you wrapped your arm around his. “What did you miss?”

“My protection.”

It was your turn to be flustered.

He was talking about you being there to protect him every time you can.

“In some countries, people are really rude for literally nothing.” He said, probably remembering an encounter.

“Maybe you should try to-”

“For what?” He cut you straight. “I need you and you only.”

“But what are you going to do if I’m not with you?” You smiled, liking his cuteness.

“I will call you.” He replied like it was the smartest answer, and you didn’t think about it.

“But on tour? Or imagine if we break up?”

He gave you a look that made you feel stupid for a second.

“You crazy?”

“No, I’m curious.” You replied, your smile still glued on your face.

“For nothing in the world, I would break up with you.”

“But what if I do?” You smirked.

“Then I would still call you.” He concluded. “You wouldn’t hate me, right? So, I still can say ‘Hello Y/N, I know we are over, but someone is being rude to me at the coffee shop. Can you come over?”

“You are unbelievable.” You laughed.

“You know the coward that I am. It’s like God sent me the one I needed to live a peaceful life.”

“Aw. That’s cute.”

“I know. Cute is my last name.” He gave you a quick peck on the forehead.

“But don’t you feel… I don’t know, less masculine if I’m the protective one?”

“No way.” He replied quickly. “Or I never thought about this.”

“Really? I know some guys who would feel less masculine, or they would have a problem with their manhood.”

“Then it’s not my problem. I do really like it.” He smiled at you.

You felt reassured deep inside of you. You always thought he would confront you someday for interposing in an argument or something.

“But don’t think that I will let you take a bullet for me or worse.” He put his limits.

“I would never do that.”

He was relieved inside of him, but his ego was a bit hurt. “Excuse me-”

“Hey, I would never let someone stab me for your pretty eyes.” You chuckled.

“Why do I feel disappointed to hear this?” He questioned himself.

WOOYOUNG

When you cracked an eye this morning, you noticed that you were alone. You turned lazily on the other side, to pick your phone which was resting on the nightstand.

The screen turned on and you raised a brow when you saw the time.

Only 7AM?

Wooyoung spent the night with you, but usually, he would wake up at the last one.

You sighed and touched his side of the bed. It was cold. It’s been a long time since he’s up.

Lazily and still asleep, you got out of your bed and headed to the bathroom, maybe he was there.

But the door was wide open and there was no sign of Wooyoung there.

You continued and went to the living room. Just in the corridor, you could hear the TV, at a minimum volume. He was probably there, watching his favorite show but didn’t want to wake you up.

“Babe?” You said, laying at the crook of the door. “You are already up?”

“As you can see.” He replied, eyes still glued on the screen.

You noticed the cold tone of his voice. You just ignored it.

“It’s only 7AM? Did you have insomnia again?”

“No.”

“Well okay.” You raised a brow.

Instead of sitting next to him on the couch, you stayed there, watching the TV screen. You were not really focused on it. If someone asks you what a character just said, you wouldn’t be able to answer. You were wondering what could happen in your boyfriend’s head this morning.

Finally, he spoke.

“Why do you always need to protect me?”

You raised a brow. Here we go again, you thought.

“Because you can’t do it. You let people take advantage of you.”

“This doesn’t mean that you need to jump out of nowhere and to act like you did yesterday.” He said, a bit too aggressively for you.

All the arguments you had before because of this subject helped you this time to remain quiet and to let him spill all the things he has against you.

“Okay I know you just want to take care of me. But I’m not a fucking child Y/N! I can handle myself. This is so so so annoying sometimes.” He continued.

Your eyes didn’t leave his. But your mind was already out of this room.

“I would appreciate it if sometimes you could stop. It’s the fifth time I ask you to stop, and you are still doing it. I’m really done!”

Just say that you don’t feel manly enough, you thought.

When he finally stopped and put his eyes back on the screen, you left.

You sighed in the corridor and went back to your bedroom.

There, you plopped under the sheets and tried to calm the anger inside of you.

You hated to see people being rude or mean to him. But he was too naive to think bad about their behaviors. So of course, sometimes you need to open his eyes. But instead of being thankful, he was just being rude because it reduced the size of his peepee when you do.

“Idiot.” You whispered.

You woke up 3 hours later, still bothered by the situation.

Wooyoung was still probably mad at you for sure.

You were thinking about confronting him once again or just ignoring him for the rest of the day.

You didn’t have the time to choose one of these choices when he entered the room quietly. 2 cups of hot chocolate in his hands.

He gave you a quick and light smile and whispered a “sorry” that you couldn’t hear but you guessed it right away.

JONGHO

You had a whole debate on who between both of you was the most protective one.

Jongho was sure he was the winner.

“I’m the protective one! The only thing you do is breaking apples with your bare hands.” You laughed, putting your legs on his laps.

“This is training!” He replied, playing with your foot. “Now that I can break apples well, I can break anyone's head.”

“Head? Who do you think you are? Hulk?” You pinched his arm.

“Exactly. I’m the Hulk. So, respect me woman.”

“You wish...”

At the same moment, a few male backup dancers entered the practice room.

You recognized some of them except one.

Jongho stood up first to greet them.

“Hi JongJong!” Greeted one of them. He was a close friend of your boyfriend. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to practice a bit.” He replied, giving him a handshake.

You spotted the newest one stepping next to them.

“Nice to meet you.” Shyly bowed Jongho.

It’s true that his presence was something else. The other backup dancers were joyful and funny, but his aura was dark, foggy and you never saw him smile since he entered.

“He’s our new guy! He’s coming straight from Busan.” Introducing the dance leader.

“Ah! The manager informed us about this. It’s cool! Hope you will have fun with us.” Continued Jongho.

You had a bad feeling about him. But it was none of your business and you decided to put your attention on the notification that popped up on your phone screen.

“Who is this?” Asked the new recrue, pointing at you.

“Oh, this is Y/N.” He simply replied.

“His girlfriend.”

“Hyung!” He punched him; a bit embarrassed.

“It’s okay, we all know it.”

“I know, but it still feels weird to hear it from you.” He rolled his eyes.

“Ah so it’s allowed to bring our girlfriends to work?” He asked.

From you, it seemed like a reproach.

Jongho cleared his throat and scratched his head. “I didn’t want to be alone today, so I asked her to come. She really gives good reviews!”

“Ah I see, but rules are rules.”

Not liking the tone, he was using, you slammed a bit too much strongly, your phone on the coffee table and stood up.

Jongho raised a brow, you seemed mad, and he knew how you could be sometimes.

You stepped in front of the new recrue and bowed politely to him.

“Nice to meet you too.” You raised a brow.

For sure he has a problem with women, or his ego is too big to greet someone.

“Is my presence bothering you?” You asked straight, taking this cocky look.

“I just thought we needed to follow rules.”

“Then why are you not following the 2 first rules?”

“Y/N, he’s new. I think he doesn’t know-”

“Rule number 1.” You ignored your boyfriend, a bit frustrated on the side. “Respect.”

He raised a brow, not understanding what you could mean by that.

“I greeted you, so you could do it too. And leave this attitude at your home. No need to be this sassy, moody or bitchy here.”

He stayed up, not giving up on his ego.

“Rule number 2.” You continued. “Anyone who’s not related to the staff, idols or superior hierarchy isn’t allowed to be in this building. But since I’m his girlfriend, I can.” You smirked, tilting your head on the side.

You exchanged a long and intense eye-contact, before he broke it by bowing to you.

“Thank you.”

“Well, Jongho, your girl can be scary sometimes... Take care of yourself.” Whispered the lead dancer.

“I love her.” He replied, proud of you being so strong.

You don’t hesitate to protect anyone when something feels wrong and he’s really admirative.

“She won.”

[fairydollsteps]

Hihi! Could I please request headcanons with Megumi, Itadori and Yutta, where them and the reader get into an arguement and they make her cry? Angst to fluff, of course :)

Thanks!

Sure! Thank you for your request and I hope what I wrote is what you wanted!💌 This might be a little crappy because I am writing this late at night.🙃 Enjoy reading!😄

Arguments/Reconcilement with Fushiguro Megumi, Itadori Yuji and Okkotsu Yuta

Fushiguro Megumi

This wasn’t your first time arguing with him. You both did argue some time in the past but this too much for you to handle which leads you to start crying despite all your attempt to hold it back.

Megumi stops talking and looks at you with a worried expression. Before he can reach for you, you have already run out of the room, leaving him behind.

You don’t want to see him for a while because you are still mad and upset with Megumi so you locked yourself in the room to calm yourself down and ignores his desperate knocking.

Megumi loves to always be by your side every day. So the fact that you are acting like he doesn’t exist absolutely broke his heart.

He would become insecure and worried that you would break up with him because of what he said to you earlier. He legit can’t sleep, just recalling back the argument while staring at the ceilings.

He would probably start crying when he remembers when he makes you cry, thinking he is the worse boyfriend ever.

Megumi can’t ask anyone for help because Itadori would be clueless and dumb, Kugisaki would scream at him for acting like and Gojo would give awful advice that is completely useless and futile.

So Megumi had enough of you being distant and doesn't care who is wrong or right. So when he manages to get some alone time with you, he would hug and mutter a sorry to you then saying it profusely to you.

Internally, he is begging you to not break up with him. His soul would be crushed to million pieces if you do.

You can feel a tear or two starts soaking your clothes and notices Megumi shaking. He is probably trying his best to not have a full-blown cry in front of you.

You would hug him back in hope that it would cheer him up. Which it does because you finally acknowledge him after days o you being distant from him.

Just please reassure and comfort him cause he is feeling like the worst boyfriend ever and that you deserve better. Those thoughts will soon vanish if you comfort him and reconcile together.

Itadori Yuji

Like every couple, you and Yuji have fought some times in the past but you just started crying in the middle of an argument with him because he is yelling at you.

Yuji would wanted to cry because you are crying because of HIM and he can feel wave of guilt hit him hard like a boulder but he hold it back, afraid that you would think he is being dramatic and is acting the victim.

He is supposed to make you laugh and smile but he ended up making you upset and sobbing. He wanted to say something but the back of throat felt dry and it stings a lot that he can utter a word.

The only he can do to comfort your weeping state, he pull you into a hug and let your tears soak his clothes. Yuji doesn’t care about his clothes or anything else, he is now only worry how you see him after what he say to you.

Would you think he is mean and inconsiderate? Is he not enough for you? Hell, would you break up with him? Please don’t, Yuji is shaking to the core thinking about it.

“I am so sorry.. p-please forgive me and don’t leave me alone,” Yuji said, not knowing that he shaking visibly like a leave and is about to break. He put his head over your shoulder, not wanting you to see his face. Just mad and disappointed of himself.

You would take notice of it and don’t care who is wrong or right now. Yuji is sad now and you wanted to see the usual smiling Yuji again. You hug him back as you dry your tears then comfort him that you won’t leave him alone, reassuring him that he isn’t the worst boyfriend ever and he is the kind and caring one that you adore.

Okkotsu Yuta

Whenever you argue with him, Yuta would always be the first one to start crying because he thinks that you are upset and disappointed of him and that you would leave him. So he would always do everything to avoid an argument with you.

But of course, what makes a couple is arguments.

As a special grade sorcerer, Yuta is often assigned a lot of difficult mission which leads him to become very stressful and tired. So when you told him he should take a break, he vents his frustration and anger to you, yelling hurtful words to you without thinking because he is so tired.

When Yuta finally got into his senses, he saw you starts crying but you cover you face so he won’t see the damage he has put into you. 

Yuta don’t what to say but every drop of tears you shed, rip his heart out. 

“Y-Y/N. I-I-,” before he say more, you have already dash out of the room and leave him behind without saying anything. But he can still hear your sound of cries and it slowly to fade away as you keep running away.

Now is his turn to start crying and be mad of himself instead. Gosh, he feels like the worse human being ever and wishes to take back what he has shouted to you before. But the damage had already been done.

When the next day come, Yuta would try to greets you with a smile that you said you adore, but you just ignore and walk past him with an empty look on your face.

What you didn’t know that Yuta every time you don’t acknowledge him, he can feel himself breaking on the inside but he hides it  because he don’t want to be seen to be seen exaggerating.

Yuta didn’t ask for help from his friends or teachers because he don’t want to trouble them with his problem that he caused because of his recklessness.

So every time you just ask like he doesn’t exist, he thinks it meant that you wanted break up with him which is wrong because is just that you are still mad of Yuta and that you need some time to collects yourself. You know what Yuta said is not what he meant and you know that you will eventually reconcile with him.

But what you didn’t expect that the argument before has deeply affected him. You find him crying in the room all by himself. Head in the knees and sobbing at the corner of the room.

“Yuta?” When he found out that he has been caught, he tries to muffle up his sobs and cover his weeping face, not wanting you to see his pathetic state but he would then starts choking and shaking like crazy, trying his best to collect himself but he is deeply hurt and ashamed for you to see him like this.

“Y-Y/N *hiccups* I-I am s-sorry t-that you h-have to s-” you hug him and whisper some comforting words to him and let him cry on your shoulder. He would then starts apologizing to you profusely while crying and hugging you tightly, begging you not to break with him.

You hush him softly. “I am not going anywhere, I know that you didn’t mean what you say. Is alright now,” you said.

Yuta would then calm down and you both would cuddle each other somewhere private to make up the time that you both lost after the argument. You can feel him scoot closer to your figure, obviously showing that he misses you so much.

Thank you for reading and have a good day! I am sorry if this writing is tooo cringy

[rogue-durin-16]

HIS WARM EYES

Summary: Some members of the Order are reticent about letting in a Lestrange, specially after Snape's betrayal. Whilst taking Harry to the the burrow, an ambush has place. Everything points to Y/n, right?

Pairing: George Weasley x Slytherin!Lestrange!Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

George Weasley: @meph1stophelian

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @skarlettmikaelson

Warnings: blood, injuries, death

A/N: OH MY GOD THIS IS SO LONG AND BAD— I AM GENUINELY SORRY BUT I HAD TO

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

Lestrange wasn't a good name.

It wasn't a good name in the streets, nor in close-doors, let alone amongst The Order.

That's why I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that they had accepted me— well, maybe 'accepted' was a strong word; they had let me in, reticent, weary, but still they had done it. Plus, after Snape's betrayal and Dumbledore's death, no one would think there was a vacant for a Slytherin and a Lestrange.

It wasn't until I found myself exiting the abandoned Grimauld's Place along with the rest of the volunteers to go to Privet Drive, that it dawned on me; they were short on people.

They were so short on people that the Order would have to swallow my name, my family and my House.

That didn't mean they would quiet down their opinions about me being there.

"I'm gonna say it." Fred announced, taking a spot in the living room's corner while Shacklebolt, Arthur and Lupin searched the place.

"Again?" Fleur groaned.

Fred had already spoken his mind about my presence before we reached Potter's house.

His and George's shocked looks had been on me since the very first moment I had walked into the old Black's home, which was understandable; last time they saw me I was joking about joining the death eaters.

Although the shock on their faces had been accompanied by very different emotions on each.

Fred's held reticence. During our school years, he had never liked me; I would dare to say he was scared of me, even.

George's gaze, on the other hand, held hope —maybe even excitement— which was comforting.

In our first year, I had managed to draw George's interest, and for three years he was adamant about Slytherins not being 'all that bad'.

George's friendship was the thread I was hanging on; he was the only thing stopping from taking the easy way and live up to my name.

The thread was cut after he asked his mother to bring me over during Christmas, which ended up in her forbidding him to talk to me. He, being George Weasley, ignored his mom's pleads and twin's scolding and still tried his best to stay close to me, so I did what was right and, at the end of our fifth year, I cut ties with him.

It hurt more than I would dare to admit.

After our drifting apart, I was forced to completely rely on Slytherins. And you see, Slytherins, as 11 year-old George would say, aren't all that bad, but the ones my name attracted were.

They were bad sort —the worst—, and keeping that company around after our sixth year wasn't the best record to have, but Merlin's sake, I was there, I had volunteered— people change.

"Son." His father warned Fred, well aware this wasn't the time, though he obviously wanted to side with him. "Don't start again."

"Someone has yet to tell me why is she here?"

"She has a name." I hissed, unable to stop myself.

"Which is why you shouldn't be here, Lestrange." The name rolled out of his tongue like poison. "She's not one to trust."

"Oi, she's willing to risk her life, isn't she?" George's words seemed to be meant to calm his twin's temper, though his warm eyes did land on mines with a reassuring look.

"Yeah but for whom?" I tried to stay quiet as Moody had asked me too, but Fred was making it quite difficult. "If something goes wrong—"

"Weasley!" Mad-eye's tone was dry as he bursted into the room. "Are you questioning my judgment?" Fred scoffed, but stayed quiet.

"If we're throwing in the surnames, you're gonna wanna know her mum's my auntie." Tonks spoke, folding her arms.

"But you're a Hufflepuff." He was quick to respond, giving me a disgusted look. "She's a Serpent."

"And you're still a mouthful, aren't you?!" I snapped, stepping forward, though Tonks gave me a lazy tug before I could get to Fred.

"Wanna fight, Lestrange?" He had taken a couple of steps in my direction already when George yanked his twins arm.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He yelled, giving his brother a push. "She's here for Harry! She's helping! What else do you want?!"

"Oh my gosh, Georgie— get over your teen crush already, she's not on our team!" George's knuckles went visibly white, unlike his cheeks, which turned red.

"Are you done making a scene? The three of you." Bill questioned in a calm tone, resting against the window's bench. "I don't fancy the idea either, but we need help, Fred, so shut your mouth because we have things to do."

"Pity, I was enjoying the teen drama." Moody teased before grabbing his flask and the ones who would take the Polyjuice potion moved to stand in line.

"Y/n." George's hand brushed my hand, drawing my attention to him as we stood besides one another. "I'm glad you're here." He whispered with a side smile.

"Missed me much?" I couldn't help but grin back, bumping his arm with mine. I stole a proper look at him and thought I might as well ask before the mission. "So... Teen crush huh?" I wiggled my eyebrows at him, though I could feel my own face flushing.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't fancy George —could someone blame me?—, and the idea of those feelings not being unrequited was very appealing.

He only threw his head back and looked away, the half smile growing wider and more bashful. "We'll talk about it at the Burrow." He assured me, taking the flask with his right hand and squeezing mine with his left.

"If we don't die before that." I was joking, but fear was shaking me to the core.

"We won't." He looked at the potion disgusted and gave me a peeked at me saying, "You have to hear me embarrass myself first." And with a wink, he drank the potion and passed it to me.

Gosh, I couldn't get over the mission to hear him 'embarrass' himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

The first five minutes were calm, despite all of us being on edge. We kept checking on each other, dreading if we lost sight of someone, that someone would banish.

The storm came when we had to dive into the dark clouds.

Funnily enough, I did think it was a literal storm before entering; oh, what I would have given for it to be a literal storm.

Black, cloaked intruders flew among us, making us divide in the pairs we had been assigned to.

Lupin started casting protegos and hexes to everyone that got too close while I tried to take down as many enemies as possible.

A couple of yelled warnings were heard when both Moody and the real Harry had entered the ambush.

"WATCH OUT!" Tonks screamed, flying past me with Ron at her tail. "REMUS!" She made a signal to her husband "ESCORT!" I got the hint; we were supposed to clear Moody's and Y/n's way so it would confuse our attackers while Tonks and Shacklebolt made sure to get Harry out of there.

"ON MY LEFT!" Lupin shouted over the chaos, changing to my right for me to be by Y/n's side.

"WE'RE FUCKED!" She yelled dropping her flight to dodge an Avada Kedavra.

"WE'LL MANAGE!" I automatically dropped my flight with hers too, which was a bad decision, since we had gotten rid of the protection provided by Lupin, Mad-eye and Bill and Fleur.

Soon enough three death eaters came flying towards us.

"STUPEFY!" another Harry with the voice of Fred passed by us, closely followed by my dad.

"GO BACK UP!" Y/n was quicker than me following my father's instructions; when I did though, I realised the little formation we had going on was gone.

Suddenly, all we could hear were screams; it felt as if someone was missing but I blamed it on everyone flying around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Tonks almost crashed against me on her way down; Ron was nowhere near me, nor Lupin.

We were outnumbered, and instead of moving forward, we were stuck in the grey clouds, trying not to die.

It took me a hot second, a crash against a death eater and a couple of hexes to get to Lupin, and even when I did, it was a hard task to keep track of him.

I had just taken out someone in my way when I caught a glimpse of something my eyes refused to believe.

Snape.

Our bloody professor was trying to kill us.

I felt the need to laugh at the situation.

"GEORGE!" It was Y/n's voice snapping me out of it, although her actions shocked me even more.

Y/n casted a spell on me, pushing my broomstick to the left and consequently making me crash against Lupin and lose balance.

Then something happened, something my mind didn't quite process.

At first it felt like a slap, but the pain stung my side as if someone had sliced me with a blade.

I didn't hear my own cry, nor Lupin's desperate 'help'; I didn't feel his hands struggling to take a firm hold of me, nor my own shakily reaching to my side, searching for an injury I didn't want to find.

A second after that, everything was black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRED'S P. O. V.

As soon as my father and I apparated in the fields of our home, I ran into the house. For some unexplainable reason, it felt as if something wasn't right.

A couple of steps into the house were enough for that 'something' to strike me. George had been laid on the settee, barely conscious; blood was covering the side of his face, neck and left shoulder, making his hair and clothes stick to his skin.

I was left speechless at the sight, my eyes welling up while I dragged my feet towards my twin.

"Mad-Eye is dead." Bill's words, despite sounding far away, made the gears in my head turn.

Lupin was quicker than me, though, "I told you we couldn't trust a Lestrange!"

"Remus! we don't know—" Tonks tried to calm him down, just to be cut off by Bill.

"Mad-Eye and Lestrange traveled between us and" he gestured at our wounded brother, "Remus and George." His jaw twitching let me know that he was desperately trying to stay calm. "Mad-Eye is dead and my brother just lost an ear, who is it if not bloody Lestrange, Dora?"

"Bill..." Fleur held onto her fiance's arm in an attempt to ground him.

"Did you see her disapparating?" Tonks's point was logical and hopeful.

George would have sided with her.

My eyes fixed on my wounded twin again. He was as pale as a corpse now, and the absence of his ear was way more noticeable now that my mother had begun to remove the blood.

George would have sided with Tonks because he wanted to trust Y/n, and he couldn't even speak because of that same reason.

Since everyone was arguing, they missed the flash of someone apparating near the front door.

I didn't.

Before I knew it, I was running outside with my wand in hand, Lupin and Bill following me instantly when they realised what I had just seen.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" Y/n's wand flew to my hand even before I could properly see her.

My rushed march came to a halt when I was a couple of feet away from her, making Bill bump into me; she was as pale as George, maybe more.

She took a seemingly calm, deep breath before attempting to walk.

Luckily, I saw the pools of blood on her shirt and stepped to reach her before she could touch the ground.

"Oh my..." Lupin covered his mouth with both his hands and Bill stood frozen at the sight of the girl in my arms. "MOLLY!!" my old professor yelled at the top of his lungs, going as livid as me.

We shouldn't talk on impulse, I told myself, rushing into the kitchen with Y/n in my arms. A series of gasps and regretful whispers broke the silence while I laid her on the dining table.

"Y/n?" George's trembling voice was heartbreaking, and, as my dad forced him to stay on the couch, I prayed the girl in my arms would survive.

"Oh Lord..." My mother muttered, examining her. It wasn't only her shirt stained with blood; her left leg and arm were too. "Oh dear..."

"She took the blow." Lupin ran his hands through his hair, understandably stressed. After a couple of seconds, her turned to my dad and commanded, "Get him up. Quick— go get him up." His eyes stared right into my soul and I dreaded the worst, but still obeyed and helped my dad drag George to the dining table.

I heard Lupin telling Bill something about Sectumsempra, and my heart sunk.

She took the blow.

"No..." George's murmur was close to a cry, but it was enough for Y/n's eyes to snap open.

"George." tears were effortlessly streaming down her cheeks at the sight of him. "You're... A-alive..."

"Please stay" My brother fell on his knees, reaching for Y/n's bloody hand with his own. We all looked away to give them some kind of intimacy, except from my mother, who was still trying to fix the poor girl.

I heard them both whispering sweet nothings with shattered voices until only one of them died out. I looked over to Tonks, whose eyes were gleaming with tears, and then to Lupin.

I couldn't bring myself to look at George.

After a moment of intense sobbing, my dad managed to pull my twin away from the corpse, and we carried him back to the settee.

I stayed with him the night, holding his hand and assuring him it was not his fault, but I knew my words would have little effect on his state; after all, he had been in love with Y/n for years.

All those years he had spent trying to convince all of us that Y/n was a good person, that we should give her a chance; all those years begging our mother to bring her over because she wanted to see our home.

Now her body was lying on our kitchen and I knew none of us would forgive ourselves for misjudging her.

READER'S P. O. V.

"Nervous?" A tall, redheaded kid appeared besides me; I supposed he didn't know my name by the warmth and curiosity with which his eyes stared at me.

"Aren't we all?" I replied with an anxious laugh.

He seemed to think for a moment before nodding. "Fair point, though I'll probably go into Gryffindor." He assured me with a proud smile, causing my head to cast down. "What is it?"

"Oh nothing," I shrugged, aware I would not be able to befriend that sweet boy with warm eyes. "I think I'll be sorted into Slytherin."

"Nonsense!" His intentions had been obviously to reassure me, but when he realised his response only made it worse, he added. "It'd be wicked to have a Slytherin friend, though." My eyes widened at his words; did he just— "I'm George, by the way."

"I'm Y/n."

"That's a very pretty name." Professor Mcgonagall led us into the Great Hall, and before I knew what was happening, George's hand was holding mine. "It'll be fine."

The lighting of the Castle changed once the Great Hall's doors opened; a bright, white light seemed to be coming out of it.

"Wait!" My hand gripped George's before he could leave my side. "Can you hold my hand? I-I'm scared." My voice no longer sounded like a 11 year old.

For some reason I didn't comprehend, my eyes were watery, making the view in front of me blurry.

"Don't be scared, darling." When I turned to George, I didn't see a kid; it was him, in the expensive suit I had seen him mere hours ago. "I'm here."

I just nodded and, swallowing my fear, took a step ahead, and then another one, and another, until I reached the Great Hall.

[simsadventures]

Gilded: Chapter 3: Power Over Me

Mobster!Steve x Reader

Summary: What more can you do than have a rad bachelorette party and then move to a house full of mobsters. It all sounds fun, right? Well, not according to your experience. 

Warnings: mobster AU, drinking, swearing, surveillance, angst, smidge of fluff, violence, mention of bruises, fear 

Word Count: 5737

A/N: A little late, I know I know, but I wanted to make sure the chapter was exactly how I wanted it. I keep thinking I will get to the wedding, and then some situations occur and I know I have to concentrate on them a little more. Than being said, I think we will finally see the wedding next! What do you think of this part? Did you like it? Is the reader a little less annoying? Let me know xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist 

< Previous Chapter 

The scene was supposed to be joyous, but, for some reason, the majority of what you felt was filled with sadness. Not for any particular reason, it was just the weigh of your decision finally settling in your heart and the realization hitting you that you would indeed be getting married in a week to a total stranger, who was a mobster, none less. 

You chose it, you had to remind yourself as tears fought their way in your eyes. It was just momentary sadness overpowering you, the feeling that your wedding wouldn’t be filled with people loving and caring for you, that the day would be more about showing off Steve’s power over the world than showing his love for his new bride, for whom he had none. And you would be there almost alone: no parents, no extended family, and a very few close friends. Whom you loved dearly, of course, and without whom you wouldn’t even be considering taking such a step. You needed them there, and not just the two lovable idiots you lived with. 

It was also people you’ve come to love during your university years as well as some coworkers, like Christy and Anja. Together it made around 15 people, which was actually a lot more than you had anticipated, but still. It would have to be Aidan walking you down the aisle, and just the mere thought made a choked sob escape your lips. 

The sound brought the attention of the room to you, and before you knew it, you were enveloped in a bone-crushing hug from all the people there, everyone telling you that you should be happy, that this was a good thing. Of course, nobody except Caroline and Aidan knew the reality behind the wedding. All they thought was happening was that you fell madly in love with Steve Rogers, and now you two were tying the knot. You even overhead Aisha say that you were definitely pregnant, otherwise, you wouldn’t have rushed into it like this. You tried to assure everyone that there was no pregnancy at all, but, of course, people believed what they wanted, and you lacked the energy to go around the room and speak to them individually, denying what they formed in their heads. 

It was Friday night, and you were in your apartment, surrounded by all those people who would come to your wedding. You sent a list of names to Steve that afternoon, and, after what you assumed was a background check on all of them, he agreed that yes, these 15 people could actually come. And when he did, you called an emergency meeting at your apartment, using it both as a way of inviting them to the wedding and as a kind of bachelorette party, where all you wanted to do was to drink heavily, eat a disgusting amount of carbs and pass out around dusk. Safe to say, all of your friends had been in, and by the time it was 11 PM, you were all tipsy, and people started to dance. Some (ehm, ehm, Caroline) even on a table, which was hilarious to the rest of you. 

The sadness came and went all evening, but you were determined not to let it ruin your night. So, every time you felt like it was creeping up on you again, you just told somebody and let them hug you until you were feeling better. 

Then, somebody came up with the idea to play Never Have I Ever, and since the tequila still burned in your veins, you agreed immediately. And so the game started. You were roaring like a pride of lions, each answer louder than the previous ones, but the most fun arose from telling each other funny stories. 

“Ok, so this one time I was blowing off my boyfriend, right? And you know how much I hate the taste of sperm, and he knows it as well, but this one time he really insisted on my swallowing, and so when he finally came, I squeaked and pointed somewhere behind him so that I could spit the cum to glass under the table, and when he turned around I showed him my mouth, void of any liquid, and he looked super proud,” your friend Naila laughed as she told the story to the question: never have I ever swallowed cum. 

The night was flowing smoothly, and soon, you saw that it was getting somehow lighter outside. And, sure enough, when you looked out of the window, you saw that the sunrise was coming in mere minutes. 

“Guys, guys! The sunrise is here. Let’s go to the roof to enjoy it,” you yelled even though half of the people were already fast asleep. The few of you who were still barely alive, which was around 5 of you, staggered towards the door and crawled up the stairs to the highest levels, and when you opened the last door, you had New York underneath you. 

You were wasted and exhausted, but the sight poured new life into you as you watched the early orange rays shine on one building at a time, waking up the city that never slept. It was magical, and it took your breath away. You felt your worries melting away as you saw a new day coming, and you thought it was a new day with many possibilities and hopes for you. You had nothing to lose, and Steve proved to you that he would, indeed, take care of you if need be. All would be if you just played your part and learned enough about Steve to be able to escape his wrath. 

The exhaustion then hit your body just as the ray hit your face, and you waved at the drunk group watching the sunrise, each of them in their own realm of thoughts, and soon enough, you sauntered back to your room, where you fell asleep just like the rest of the bachelorette party. 

A piercing tone woke you up with a start, and, for a second, you didn’t even know where you were, what time it was, or even what fucking century it was. The throbbing in your head prevented your brain from functioning properly, and so you rummaged through the pile of clothes next to your bed, fishing for what was obviously your phone. Gosh, how you hated the ringtone, and you reminded yourself to just mute your phone altogether because then nothing like this could happen again. 

You picked up without so much as looking at the screen and just sneered a harsh what into the speaker. 

“Well, good morning to you too, honey,” you heard Steve’s smug voice and rolled your eyes so hard the pain in your head increased. “Is this the way to greet your future husband? I don’t fucking think so,” he continued, and a considerable part of you contemplated just hanging up on him and his annoyingly sexy voice. 

“Steve, I have no fucking idea what time it is, but it’s definitely not time for you to call me and want me to be nice. Give me a few good hours of sleep, and then we can talk, ok?” You hoped this would do it, but from the silence on the other side, you assumed he wouldn’t let be just yet. 

“What happened? Did your bachelorette party get a little out of hand, and you went to sleep only after sunrise?” 

You gasped, shocked how he knew any of it, and for the first time, the fog in front of your brain lifted a little bit. You checked the time, and seeing it was only 9 AM, you assumed that asshole woke you up on purpose if he knew so much about your nightly activities. 

“How the fuck-“

“Language!” He yelled suddenly, and you flinched at the intensity of his voice. “I know everything, and I told you I would have somebody keeping an eye on you at all times. You’re only lucky the guy sleeping next to you is gay, you’d be in so much trouble otherwise, honey,” Steve spat, and the only sound you could muster was a long huff, as you regretted ever being born. 

“What do you want, Steve? If you know so much, you must know that I’m beat and all I wanna do is sleep, with a guy in my bed or without him. So, if you have something to tell me, please do, otherwise, have a good day, and I’ll catch up with you later.”

“We’re gonna have so much fun together, you and I, Y/N. I’m calling because I wanted to let you know that your room is prepared and ready for you and that your bodyguard will pick you up at exactly 8 PM, so don’t be late. Clint will also help you carry all things you need. I’ll send you his number so that you can be in touch with him. Oh, and honey? Take some aspirin and go to sleep, you sound like you need it,” even through the phone, you could hear him smirk as he hung up and let you on your own once again. Thank God.

“Who was it?” Aidan asked sleepily from the other side of the bed, and you just grumbled some response, not really sure if he understood what you meant, but when he hummed and patted your outstretched hand, you took it as yes, I understand you mean your future husband Steve Rogers, nice talk. 

The phone signalled you received a text, and when you looked at it, it was your bodyguard’s phone number and a directive, telling you to go to sleep already, because the dark circles under your eyes didn’t suit you. 

Oh, how you wanted to kill this man already. He got on your nerves more easily than anybody ever before, and for a brief moment, you wondered why he affected you so. You didn’t even know him, and you shouldn’t let him tossing you back and forth, but here you were, pissed because you could just imagine how proud he was of himself that he woke you up and told you what to do so many times in such a short call. 

Sighing, you got up from the bed and went to check the window to see if you could spot the nosy bodyguard ratting on you to Steve. You needed to have a word with him because he just couldn’t go running to Steve every time you blinked. 

Looking around the street, you tried to spot a strange vehicle, one that didn’t fit into the street you grew to know so well. And, sure enough, there was a large SUV, much like the one you had driven with Steve before, and you noticed that the windows were tilted. Since your apartment was on the first floor, anybody from the street had a great view right into your flat, and because you passed out totally exhausted, you didn’t have the time, nor did you remember to shut your blinds. 

You huffed and shut them now, cursing Steve and his nosiness because he wasn’t making your life any easier, and you weren’t even married yet. The year in front of you would be annoying and difficult, but maybe it would make you feel alive again. 

Shaking your head, you didn’t let the memories flood your brain as you strode back to your back, plopped on it belly-first and fell straight asleep.

“Are you sure it’s everything?” Aidan looked around your now half-empty room, except for the furniture that you knew you wouldn’t need. Steve promised to give you a furnished room, and you took his word for it, so you just took the essentials, like your clothes and sentimental stuff. Marie Condo would have been proud because you still managed to get rid of a few things that didn’t spark joy!

“Yeah, and even if I left something here, I could still come, you know? It’s not like I’m never seeing you or this place again. I’ll still be like a 30-minute ride away,” you smiled soothingly at him, but he just shook his head, obviously fighting all the emotions swirling in his heart. 

“Alright, alright. No crying. I’ll call you guys when I’m all settled, and Steve actually lets me be by myself, and I’ll show you the room, ok?”

Both Aiden and Caroline nodded speechlessly and then pulled you in a group hug. 

“You sure you wanna do it? We can still make it seem like we kidnapped you and take you somewhere to Mexico, or Argentina, or wherever he wouldn’t find you,” Caroline whispered, and you laughed through the tears fighting their way out of your eyes. 

“I’ll be fine, you’ll see. We will all have so much fun, and before we know it, the year is over, and I’m back here with you guys, having lived a little,” you smirked, and they nodded reassuringly, not really sure if it really was the best way to live a life, but they didn’t want to push you again. Your heart was set, and they both knew there was nothing they could do now. Except, of course, really kidnapping you. 

“Miss Y/L/N, we should go. The boss said we should be there at 9 PM at the latest, and I would prefer if we could be a little early,” Clint said professionally, but you could see that he was afraid of what would Steve do had you arrived late. You didn’t want to start this weird-ass journey by pissing your future husband or making him hurt his employees (you didn’t know whether he would actually do that, but just to be on the safe side, since he did cut off a guy’s finger a mere few days ago). 

You nodded and stepped from your best friends, looking at them and smiling brightly. You didn’t want any teary goodbyes, so you just showed them thumbs up and followed Clint out of the door. You knew there would be some tears when you left but didn’t think they would come as early as on the first step from your apartment. 

Fortunately, there weren’t that many steps to go before you were out of the building and rushed into the SUV by Clint. It was dark already, but you didn’t want him to see you cry, so you swiftly pulled out your sunglasses and put them on, not saying a word to Clint as he started the car and pulled it into New York’s night traffic. The lights around you were almost blinding, and for a moment, you were glad you had the glasses on, but then another wave of regret and sadness hit you, and you had a hard time keeping in the sobs. Scratching your arms, you stared out of the window and took a few calming breaths, telling yourself to get a grip because you were about to enter the lion’s den, and you couldn’t show them any emotions. 

You knew Clint knew what was going on, but he was gentleman enough not to comment on it. Still, you needed to make sure he understood this little episode was just between the two of you. 

“Can I ask you something, Clint?” You said suddenly and saw his eyes flickering between the road and the mirror, meeting your eyes for a moment. 

“Of course, Miss Y/L/N. However, I should warn you, I am not allowed to give you certain information,” he said formally, and you nodded knowingly. 

“Yeah, right. If I asked you to keep a little secret from your boss, would you keep it?” You asked and nibbled on your lower lip anxiously. 

He seemed to have thought for a second before he nodded his head in a manner telling you that there were things Steve didn’t need to know. His eyes met yours again before he spoke up. 

“I’m now your bodyguard, and if I think the information kept from the boss is in your best interest, then I won’t tell him anything. For example, you smiled all the way to the apartment, no tears and no sunglasses. Though, I think you should powder your nose and dry your face,” he smirked, and you laughed a little, nodding gratefully and doing exactly as he said. 

The car stopped exactly as you put all the supplies back into your purse, and you had a feeling Clint took a longer route to Steve’s house just to give your face the time to dry up and calm down. Checking the time, you saw it was 10 minutes before 9 and saw the relief on Clint’s face when he realized the same thing. 

“Alright, I will take you to the boss and then will get the boys to help with your things. We won’t go through anything, but if you need our help when you’re unpacking, all you have to do is text me,” Clint said, walking you to the door. 

The man you met on your first night there was standing as a sculpture at the exact same spot, and you wondered if he ever moved from that hallway. He did move towards you, gesturing to your purse, but Clint’s hand stopped him mid-motion. 

“She’s clean. I’ve been with her the whole time,” he said sternly and with authority, and when he saw the first man taking a breath to protest, Clint just gave him a chilling frown, and the man stepped down, hung his head in defeat and let you through. 

“It’s not a problem, Clint; I could have shown him the purse, you know?” You almost whispered as you walked through the empty rooms and hallways with Clint by your side. 

“They need to learn to respect you, Miss. You are, after all, marrying the boss very soon, and they need to understand that you are not a threat,” he gave you a curt nod, and you blushed a little. You didn’t know what it was, but the way Clint spoke to you with so much trust and respect already made you feel much better. You knew it would be an issue, so having somebody on your side was a huge relief already. 

“Thank you, Clint, I really-“ 

“Well, happy you two are best buddies already! Are you gonna braid each other’s hair and do each other’s nails soon too?” A voice snapped you back to reality, a voice you already knew too well. Steve was leaning against a door, his face stoic despite the mocking tone of his voice. Clint obviously tensed next to you, mumbled some apology and scurried out of the room, leaving you with Steve. 

You just looked at him and crossed your arms on your chest. 

“Do you need to be like this?” You asked incredulously, not really understanding why he had to be such an ass when all you did was having some sort of conversation with one of his loyal men. 

“Like what, honey? You seem to forget who I am and what I can do to you and your fucking life,” he sneered when he finally pulled away from the door and marched right in front of you. 

Your arms fell from your chest as you stared at him, trying to figure him out. Which, considering he was a prolific mobster, wasn’t the easiest task at hand. But you tried nevertheless and poked to see where was all this coming from. He obviously needed to be in control of every situation, always the centre of attention, and, you realized, it was probably this that pissed him off. You walked in, not really paying attention to him standing by the door but carelessly talking to somebody else. But his attitude was another thing entirely. 

“What do you want me to say, Steve? That I’m sorry I talked to somebody else and that it won’t happen again? You know it probably will, especially since you assigned Clint with the task of taking care of me and making sure I survive this year with you, which is really all he had done in the 40 minutes I have known him,” you reasoned, trying to sound confident but not pushy. You needed to show him that he couldn’t just toss you around like he might have thought. You didn’t expect him changing his attitude altogether for you, but you, at least, hoped he would go easy on you. 

He was seething but also thinking; you could see his mind going in overdrive to come up with something snarky and mean. But you were quicker than him, once again. 

“Will you be so kind and show me to my room? I would like to get settled in before we start talking about the wedding.”

“There will be no talk of a wedding. All you have to take care of is go tomorrow and pick your fucking dress. Everything else is being dealt with. I won’t need you tonight, so you can go and be by yourself till tomorrow,” he snapped and walked away without saying another word. 

Great, now you felt like you were grounded, and all you did was talking with somebody nice to you. You shook your head disapprovingly and headed in a direction you thought might have been your room, but after taking a few turns, you weren’t even sure you were in New York anymore. 

“Hey, what the fuck are you doing here?” You heard from behind you, and before you knew what was happening, somebody pushed you forcibly against the nearest wall, pressing their elbow into your neck. You coughed, surprised, clawing at the man’s forearms and trying to let him loosen the press because it was getting harder and harder to breathe. 

“I said, what the fuck are you doing here?” He yelled into your face, and you tried to tell him, but your voice wouldn’t come out. So, you just stared at him, tears filling your eyes before you heard a loud hey from somewhere behind you two and saw a man with long brown hair running towards you. 

“Sarge, this woman was roaming around here. I think she is a spy,” the man still holding you said to the newly arrived guy, and all you could do was shake your head and tried to make yourself look as non-threatening as possible. Which wasn’t difficult considering you were in no position to be able to even defend yourself had the man decided to crush your trachea. 

“Fucking idiot! That’s the boss’ bride! Let her go, you dickhead,” the man, sarge, growled, and you felt the pressure leaving your body. Which was all it took for you to collapse on the floor and start coughing uncontrollably, gripping your neck in your hands to protect it from any further disturbance. 

“I-I, I didn’t know, Sarge! Don’t tell him. I thought she was some fucking spy. What the hell was she even doing here all alone, huh? It’s not my fucking fault she came sniffing around stuff that is none of her business,” the man tried to defend himself, but from the murderous gaze he received from the sergeant, he wasn’t very successful. 

“Are you ok, Miss? Did he break anything? Is your head spinning? Are you feeling nauseous? Any of this?” He crouched down to your level and extended an arm to you, and you flinched instinctively, not feeling too sure who was your friend here and who wasn’t. So, to play it safe, nobody was your friend, and you’d be scared of them all, forever. Easy business. 

The man saw your reaction and frowned even more but was persistent when he removed your hands from your neck to see an already-forming bruise alongside your throat. 

“You need to talk to me, Y/N. Are you hurting anywhere?” 

You coughed and grimaced because, yes, in fact, you did hurt and that all over the fucking neck and even your head. Which, given the man almost crushed your fucking throat with his elbow, wasn’t that surprising. 

“I’ll be fine. And I wasn’t sniffing around; I was just looking for my room. I thought it might be somewhere here, and I would have asked if I saw anyone. But this place is like a fucking maze, and I was all alone,” you screeched, and the sergeant nodded and helped you to stand up. He was pulling out what looked like a phone, but you stopped him. 

“Don’t call him, please. I’m fine. I just need to get to the room, so I can put some cold water on it, have a drink and go to sleep. Please,” you accentuated and saw the man weighing his options before he put the phone back to his pocket and nodded for you to follow him. 

“I will tell him, just so you know. Steve needs to know about this, and we need to make sure you are introduced to the whole house the first thing in the morning so that this doesn’t happen again. But he needs to know. I will give you a few minutes to take it all in before I do call him, though,” he said with a resolution in his voice, and while you wanted to protest, you saw that it would have been to no avail. So, not saying another word, you let yourself in what was supposed to be your room and took it all in. 

The walls were this very soft grey, which you actually preferred to the cold white you saw a lot all over the house. There was a king-sized bed against the main wall, framed with two bed-side tables and two matching white and gold lamps. There were many pillows on the bed and a plaid, grey and blue, throw as well, making it all feel very homey. You could see a large closet, where you could have easily fit ten times the amount of clothes you owned. The only other thing in the room was a table with a chair and some drawers, where you could picture yourself working and writing. 

However, when you turned around, you saw something that caught your attention. An easel with a little table on wheels, on top of which was a palette where you could see yourself mixing colors left and right. You squealed, but the sound reminded you that you have just been assaulted and that you could admire the room later. 

You took your time in the bathroom, inspecting your neck and hissing here and there when you touched it carefully. You knew the sarge was outside your door, probably counting in his head before he called Steve, and you were actually pretty surprised he wasn’t marching in already. Just when you thought of it, the door to your room flew open, and you heard Steve and the man talking (well, actually, more like yelling at each other).

“Where the fuck is she? I’m going to kill Drax. I swear to fucking God, man. How is it even possible that he does shit like this? They were all supposed to be briefed, for fuck’s sake. Imma have Sam’s ass as well for this. Fuck!” He yelled and kicked into something, which made you frowned, and you rushed out of the bathroom. 

Steve spun around and almost ran towards you, cradling your face in his hands carefully and lifting your head so that he could have a clear view of the injuries. He was swearing under his breath, but you couldn’t help it and stare at him, wide-eyed. He was actually careful with you, sweet even as he took it all in, and when he was sure you wouldn’t die right there, he took a step back from you. 

“Are you ok?” He asked after a moment, and all you could was just nod and stand there awkwardly, scratching your arms behind your back. 

“Will you be able to find your room easier next time?” 

“No, we took too many turns. But I won’t leave this room till morning anyway, and I will learn to stay out of the way very quickly, I promise,” you rushed to say, not really wanting to meet any of his crew alone again. 

“You can’t be scared walking around here, honey. I will show you around right now, and I have already called an emergency meeting, and I want you there. This can never happen again,” he said gravely, and you understood this was probably his way of apologizing for something that wasn’t really all his fault. Well, he didn’t have to storm off and leave you there, nor did he have to scare Clint away, who was ready to show you to your room in the first place. 

“Is it necessary, Steve? If I’m quite honest, I don’t feel too comfortable leaving the room right now,” you quipped, but Steve wasn’t listening anymore. He just grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the door. Weirdly, you felt a little better having the skin-on-skin contact with him because, at least now, nobody would be stupid enough to attack you. 

You tried to remember the way and took in the details that would make you not lose your trail again, such as the red vase on one of the tables in the corner that looked just like the corner two minutes ago, but the vase was something you could remember, so you took a mental note of that and other little things that would serve for your safety, obviously. Because when Steve told you people would want you dead, you sort of didn’t expect those people would be in the house with you. 

You walked through the spacious kitchen and the adjacent dining room to find yourself in what looked like a meeting room, with around 20 men gathered and scattered all over the room. 

When Steve finally stopped, he let go of your hand, but he instinctively reached for you and pulled you against his side. You looked at him in slight disbelief again but didn’t say anything as he stared in front of himself till the room was as quiet as a freaking church during a sermon. 

“Let me make this very quick: however lays as much as a fucking finger on Y/N here, I will kill you, and I won’t give a fuck who you are. You were briefed that I’m getting married to the woman I want, and because somebody wasn’t paying attention to the fucking briefing, evidently, my fiancé is now sporting a black neck, which she will have to cover for our wedding. Drax, you and I will speak tomorrow, I was ready to kill you, but I’m a reasonable man, so I will sleep and think of your punishment then. Now, any questions?” He asked threateningly, and you knew even if somebody did have a question, nobody would dare to ask it now. 

And just as you predicted, the room was as quiet as before, and Steve waved his hand so that everybody was dismissed and they could breathe again. Just not in his presence. 

“Sam, you stay here,” Steve added when he saw one of his closest men leaving the room as well. 

“I will deal with him, Steve. I don’t know how that could have happened, but it won’t ever again, I promise. If it does, you can have my head, man,” the bulky man said and smiled warmly at you. 

“By the way, hi, I’m Sam. I’m like the muscles here, you know? So, if you need to pick something up, I’m your guy,” he said with a wink, and you chuckled but took his hand to shake it. 

“Nice to meet you, Sam, and I will remember that, thank you.” 

“Alright, now, we have all the pleasantries behind us, you can go back to your room and go to sleep. And Y/N, if anybody as much as looks at you the wrong way, you tell me, ok? This marriage might not be a genuine one, but none of these assholes knows that or should care about that. They should protect you just like they protect me, and I don’t care what they say. I can’t have my fucking wife scared to walk these halls,” he was still frowning as he was saying all this to you, but you could see he was much more relaxed than when all the men were in the room. These two, the sergeant whose name you still didn’t know, and Sam, were obviously close to Steve because despite the winks Sam gave to you, Steve didn’t make a scene, nor did he give you the pointed looks when others were around. Still, you were on thin ice, and there was too much drama for one day for you to try and challenge him in any way. 

“Ay ay, Captain,” you chuckled, and the corner of Steve’s mouth actually moved a little, so you took that as a good sign. 

“Alright, I will try and get back to my room and call it a day because tomorrow is an important day! So, nice to meet you, gentlemen, and I will see you soon, I guess,” you waved at them awkwardly, and Sam waved back enthusiastically as you left the men to themselves. 

“She is actually quite nice,” Sam summarized, and winked at Bucky, who just rolled his eyes at him in annoyance, having just enough of Sam’s antics for one day. 

“Yeah, yeah, she actually is, when she’s not talking back and challenging every fucking thing I say,” Steve complained, and it was a turn for both men to roll their eyes at their best friend. 

“Oh yeah, because you love when they’re meek and quiet, we forgot. C’mon, man, somebody fucking choked her today, and she was still standing here with her head held high, keeping it together like a fucking pro. I say she is perfect for you,” Sam said defensively when he saw the murderous stare from his friend/boss. 

Good thing Sam didn’t see you in your room because as soon as you closed the door behind yourself, the tears just streamed down your face, and small sobs left your lips. You were glad the day was over and dreaded what the next day would bring. 

Next Chapter >

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[pluviophile-bookworm]

HSMTMTS 3x1: Did they just join a cult? (a.k.a. Gosh, I miss Big Red)

It has been a real concern for me how little I’ve seemed to care about HSMTMTS these last few months after it consumed my entire life last summer… you want to know how little I actually cared? Well, up until late last night I was convinced the s3 premiere was on Friday, not today. But it is today and I am firmly resolved to get back into my old hyperfixation, so here I am again with another one of my ‘if I haven’t publicly reacted to it, I haven’t seen it properly’ long posts.

[side note: before going into this first episode, I skimmed through some of my reactions to s2 and I just realised that my 2x12 reaction was titled ‘Don’t say we have to let it go’… I had absolutely not intended for that to be a pun since I had no way of knowing what the next musical would be (unlike my darling @redlyncentral who, I’m convinced by this point, has got the gift of prophecy)… but yeah, see how well it turned out? There are no coincidences in this life.]

And… I’m rambling again. But you knew I would. Anyway, without further ado, let’s do what we came here to do and dive into this episode.

No, no no no… you don’t just show me happy Redlyn and Seblos moments in the recap and then expect me not to be angry over the fact that this season is treating them like the Road Trip book did. You do not just take my two favourite boys away from me and expect me to care. You don’t, you simply don’t! Ugh, the episode hasn’t even started properly and I’m already crying. What exactly have I done to deserve this? What have any of us done? This is insane.

Oh no, you do not just put Portwell and whatever Richard over here (I’m calling him that until he comes to his senses) thinks he’s doing with Lily side by side… you. Do. Not! But I suppose this recap is already doing a bunch of stuff you do not do, so I ought to expect the unexpected. Got it.

‘Love is an open door. Did I just make that up?’ First of all, Richard, no you did not. Second of all, if you think you’re Zefroning your way into this one, you’ve got another think coming. But then again, as it turns out, I unknowingly anticipated things with ‘Don’t say we have to let it go’, so who am I to judge? (Although, in fairness, all I had intended to do was make a reference to the final song from HSM3, and it turned out to be even more meaningful than I had planned). Anyway. I haven’t even got to the episode proper yet. I talk way too much even for my own taste.

Dad joke-spouting EJ is my new favourite EJ. Call me weird, bizarre if you will, but I love dad jokes.

So yeah, this season is treating my darling boys Big Red and Sebby just like that Road Trip book. But if that’s so, it would mean they’d at least be back for the end. Please give me that at the very least… is it too much I’m asking?

That car horn was so precisely administered… if Ricky is with who I think he’s with, they’d better not mention her or show her on screen… I don’t want to know about it.

It’s not like I hadn’t seen it before in countless pieces of promotional material, but… I love love love Gina’s new braid look. Love it. Let her keep it forever.

Oh, you bet they’d do What Time Is It! After all, I’ve played that song thousands of times at the beginning of each summer since I was 9, so I know quite well why it’s just a necessity of life. We’re all in, people! I’m back into it with my entire being. Love that for me.

Ooh, I’m loving this mashup! I think I’ve got a new favourite version of both of these songs. This soundtrack is going to be off the charts, I can feel it.

Is this Ash and Carlos leaning on each other in the absence of their boyfriends I see? I’m loving this. I don’t think we’ve had quite enough interaction between these two, and with them being the biggest theatre kids there, it was a no-brainer. I love it. Even though I miss their boyfriends not much less than they do. Also, how relatable is Carlos… ‘I feel naked without my angst’. Too relatable, if you ask me.

But what’s even more relatable is Kourtney’s reaction to having her phone taken away… for two whole weeks? How dare you! But also, this season is treating Seb and Big Red worse than that Road Trip book. In that one, they at least had some sort of communication with their SOs (however clumsy that was for one reason or another). But this here… it feels like torture.

Oh. No. They. Didn’t. They did NOT. Yes, I am still in denial and I’ll deny it till the cows come home. (Ugh, now I’ve made myself think of Seb with that expression, for no reason at all) But yes, it would appear that Richard is with her-who-must-not-be-named… why? And… did she just call him Richie, or are those my auditory processing issues all over again? Yeah, I’m calling him Richard until further notice.

I might get some hate over this, but it’s my post and I’ll say whatever I want to: I don’t particularly care about Miss Jenn or Nini this season. I just don’t. Not because of any hard feelings or anything, they’re just not piqueing my interest. This could change, of course, but for the time being my mind and heart are elsewhere.

Ashlyn being a ‘thing-in-law’… I love it! Still would have loved to see her and Reddy and all the redheaded cuteness they bring, but… we’ll have to wait and see.

I see Ash is bringing her High-Priestess-so-meek-so-mild-sword persona back, and I love it. We love us some callbacks to things only mentioned previously in passing, we do.

‘Be safe… and take big risks.’ Sounds really wise, it does, on the surface at least, but… is it not oxymoronic? How do you stay safe while taking risks? And big ones, at that? Seriously, how? Someone make it make sense to me.

No, no, forget what I said earlier about Richard and her-who-must-not-be-named. ‘What song titles?’ They’re perfect for each other. Let them have this, I couldn’t care less. *** Ok, so I don’t care about Miss Jenn or Nini, I don’t care about Richard or her, it hurts to look at Ash or Carlos without their boyfriends, and Portwell are already getting old in my eyes… so why do I care about this season again? I keep fluctuating between ‘Yasss, this is going to be so great!’ and ‘Meh, who even cares anymore’ like, every five seconds. This is exhausting.

Ooh, wait, I do care a bit still. Someone’s dark secret is out, and someone else is hopefully about to come to his senses and earn the right to be called Ricky again… hopefully.

Carlos’ reaction to the first impression of his bunk is, frankly, me whenever I find myself in a camp situation, surrounded by strangers who all seem to know each other in a strange place where everybody else feels comfortable. I feel like I’m going to be experiencing this season through Carlos’ vantage point, and it’s not like it hasn’t happened before. Season 1 was sort of the same.

This Jet kid… like Carlos, I am scared, but I’m also the least bit curious. What’s his deal? I want to know.

‘At least say Richard.’ First of all, I loved that. But second of all… so you’re saying I was being milder than I intended to be by calling him that for the last… 17 minutes? Gosh, this thing is packed. So much has happened and there’s still 1/3 of the episode to go.

I am absolutely loving this new song — this soundtrack is going to be the best thing since sliced bread, I’m telling you — and I feel like it sounds more like a Joshua Bassett single than something belonging in HSMTMTS, but I love that. (I mean, Let You Go was both of these things, and this… this is different somehow. In a good way). Who’s to say a genuine Joshua Bassett single can’t fit into HSMTMTS like a puzzle piece? If I genuinely care about and am excited for one thing this season, it is the music.

No, seriously, I love this song. So much so that I’m going on about it in two separate bullets… but Ricky is back, you guys! Speaking of, for the past few months, despite not finding it in my heart to be excited about this new season, I’ve sort of had this daydream of Ricky and Big Red singing The Boys Are Back… I want that. If not from this season, at least from the next. Let me have this one little thing, please, pretty please with a strawberry on top (I’m not much of a cherry person).

Yes, Carlito dear, you are a celebrity. Have been since day one. Seriously, I love this boy. Can we at least get more of him this season if they’re not going to let his boyfriend be there?

Hey, I wanted to like Maddox… or Gadget, or whatever she prefers to be called... I did. But why is she being dismissive of the magic that is Redlyn? Please let her be wrong wrong wrong… please. I’m scared.

This song… is Shallow Lake a cult? I… I’ve just got some trauma from last summer when I ended up at a religious cult camp by mistake, and this is just bringing out some memories of that. Maybe I shouldn’t watch this season after all?

Suddenly I relate to Jet even though I know nothing about him yet. Standing all the way back in the dark, refusing to partake in whatever the heck this is… that’s been me all my life. And for good reason, too. I wonder what his reason is.

‘It’s very meta, you guys’… and the fourth wall does not exist. I love that. And yes, Mr Corbin Bleu, it is very meta. I love meta.

Wait, is this how EJ becomes the musical’s director? I’ve got to say it’s a bit of contrived coincidence there, but I like it. There’s a plot to this thing. All along I was thinking ‘this should have been a compilation album tie-in special or something’, but I feel like I’m being proven wrong. And if I ever like being wrong, it is when the reality of the thing is better than what I thought.

Ok, so this was a trip… I honestly don’t know if I’ve got my excitement for this show back. But I love routine and stability, and now with my uni years behind me and no jobs in sight for the time being, HSMTMTS and reacting to it here on Tumblr are basically the only certain things in my future. So I’ll be doing the reactions, no matter what. And I hope I get my enthusiasm for it back somewhere along the way.

[bakugohoex]

congrats on 1k!! may i request angst #10 with levi ackerman? <3

“goodbye my love”

pairing: levi ackerman x gender neutral reader

cw: angst, blood, kissing, death, flashbacks in italics 

word count: 1700+

a/n: i feel sad now and i have to write some nsfw next whoops hehe, but hope you guys like this and enjoy the angst i guess

playlist: please check out these songs from @marchsbakery dying in levi’s arms, here’s the spotify link as well, i had no idea she was making it but it coincided with me posting this so of course i had to add the playlist. 

summary: in which in your final moments, you relive all your memories with levi until saying your last words to your love

1k event masterlist

↞ back to attack on titan masterlist

The sound of your screams and the tears that flooded from your eyes was the last thing Levi saw when a titan had collided right into you. It had been quick, carefully thought out even, the way the horse was flung to the side and you almost looked ethereal in the sky. But it wasn’t some scene in a play where you would look magnificent, your blood curdling scream was what made everybody turn to look at you.

Turn and see a superior flung to the side, with blood seeping through your clothes. Your stomach churning at the impact, ready to be eaten. Levi saw it all, quickly slashing the neck of a titan before running to the titan, it gripped your body as your legs kicked and your mouth screamed. Tears mixed with blood dampened your skin, this was it for you. This was what everything had come down to, the titans mouth opened wide, you could almost see the other humans in its stomach. You closed your eyes ready for the tear of your legs, but it never came.

Instead the crushing of your bones, the excruciating pain you went through as the titan may have been slashed by Levi, may have begun toppling to the ground. But in its last-ditch attempt to kill you, it squeezed your body, bones crushing and moving out of place, blood trickling down your mouth. If it couldn’t have you neither could Levi.

“Y/n, you…” Levi was about to ask about your condition, but the way you were sprayed onto the palm of the titan, blood coughing from your mouth, bruises forming and pain searing through you. He knew something was wrong, you both were so close to having killed the titans, there had only been a couple left. You could survive this, get the treatment you needed, but as he ran up to you, grabbing your body he could almost feel your pain.

“L…Levi.” You coughed out more blood, he hated seeing you like this, in his arms vulnerable, he was vulnerable. What could he do, other than hold his love.

He shifted your body from the titans palm, you both in a safe area away from the others. “You’re going to be fine.” There wasn’t a question about it, you’d survive, you’d be fit and ready to go on the next expedition, he didn’t care.

“I’m d…dying.” You could barely form words, but if this was your last moments you were glad it was with your love rather than inside a Titans gullet.

Levi watched as tears fell down your numb body, he took a deep breath, he knew it was hard for him to express emotions. Express himself to you, but he looked up in the sky, suppressing any forming tears that could come out, he wanted to be strong for you. “No, yo…you won’t.”

“Tell me our story.” You were going in and out of your own mind, you didn’t want to fight over your death, you wanted to hear your story. The story of Y/n and Levi and how they were supposed to rule the world, fight titans and finally gain the peace that they deserved.

He saw how you shut your eyes just wanting to hear any story, there was no time to help you. He had to give you your last wish, explain your story if it was the last thing he did. “Okay.” He held you in his arms, kissing your forehead with warmth. “We met a couple months after you joined the scouts, you were so confident, remember…

“Is this the famous Captain Levi, I’ve heard so much about.” Levi eyes you up and down at how easily you made yourself at home with him, he raised an eyebrow as he folded his arm.

You stared at the man a smirk as you tilted your head waiting for a reply, “if you’re going to act like you don’t know who I am, then I have no business with you.” He was ready to walk away but you grabbed his arm, making him stop in his tracks. “What brat?”

“So rude, you’re the one who asked for me to join your squad.” Levi was the one to be confused as he looked at you with a puzzled look, “you asked for the girl who got first in the scouts, that’s me.”

“You?” He looked at you with no emotion.

“Don’t need to be so mean, I’m really am quite good.” You spoke highly of yourself, Levi hated those who had no actual experience to back them up.

He tapped his food in thought before replying, “we’ll see, get ready, you’ll be right next to me.”

“Gosh not even an apology.” He glared as you shrugged leaving him to tut in disgust, he’d have to sort that attitude out for sure. You had thought that joining a squad so easily and especially Levi’s squad would be an honour. But after his words it felt more like a low blow at how he didn’t recognise your talent, he looked down at you and you already had a will to prove him wrong.

“…God, you really hated me back then didn’t you.” Levi looked down at your nimble self, blood spewing down your mouth. You nodded trying to put out a laugh but could barely even lift your eyelids back up.

“Te…Tell me more.” Your words were short and breathless, he saw tears continue to trickle down, he didn’t know how long you had left, he witnessed more titans collide to the ground. Even if he had brought you back to the scouts, they couldn’t do anything until all the titans were defeated. You’d be another corpse on the long list, he’d give you these minutes, these moments to die without having a line in your name.

“You pestered me afterwards, on the expedition you showed off all those tricks and killed so many titans, but I never told, but I admired it my love, admired the way you did everything for humanity you didn’t fear death, I fell in love with you because you weren’t selfish like the others…

Levi had asked for you to come by his office after coming back from town, it had been a couple months since the expedition, and you had grown fond of the boy. He may have given you snide remarks, but the small upwards twitch of his mouth proved that he didn’t hate you as much as he let on. You knocked on the wooden door as you heard a come in, easily slipping between the cracks.

You couldn’t lie and say you hadn’t become infatuated with the man either, the way he killed titans and swung through the air always felt like your own private show. Even now here, with his watchful eyes at your movement towards his desk, he gave no emotion, but his eyes spoke differently, inviting you in almost. “What can I do for you, Captain?”

“Sit down.” He was stern with his words which you easily followed as you crossed your legs staring at him. “You’ve been working with Mike a lot lately.”

It wasn’t something you had expected, and you almost laughed at his accusations, “what about it?”

“I prefer my squad to work together rather than separately.” His sentence was filled with mystery as if he wanted to say more.

You felt confident in what you believed him to be saying, it had been Hanje who planted the idea that Levi preferred you more than he did other humans. But preferred was a stretch of the word that you had thought of, could he possibly like you, the way you liked him. “Captain, this isn’t about working together is it, are you jealous?”

“No.” He was blunt about it but refused to meet your gaze, you stood up moving closer to his seat, you leaned against his desk, eyes on his form as he looked at the papers in front. Rather than the side where your watchful eyes were.

“You don’t need to lie to me Levi, but if you really don’t, I was just about to go spend some time with Mik…” Levi grabbed your wrists stopping your words, he finally looked up at you. He moved his chair to be in front of you, his body between your legs, before grabbing your jaw.

“You leave this room and I’ll make you regret it.” Your chest felt heavy as you leant down to meet his mouth, his mouth feeling warm against your own as you both moved in sync with one another.

“…I fell in for you from that moment Y/n.” He looked back down at you, your body feeling heavy on his thighs.

You looked up at him, finally being able to open your eyes as you looked at him wanting to speak and tell him how much you loved him. “I…I…” You began coughing again, worry radiating off of Levi, “you told me…on our first date that we’d be toge…together forever.”

“We will.” Levi lied to make himself feel better, to make himself believe that this was all a dream. He had lost too many people, his mother, his friends and comrades he couldn’t, he couldn’t lose his one love. The one person he had sworn to protect, to save from this disgusting world.

“For…forever wasn’t long enough...” You whispered feeling empty inside, tears soared out as you looked through the dampness right up at Levi. He looked down and for the first time you witnessed the tears, how he tried to hide them with an emotionless face. But they were there.

He brought his head down to meet your own, forehead resting against your own, “we’ll get our happiness next time…I promise my love.”

You felt his tears fall onto your own skin, feeling your body begin to shut down, your eyes feeling heavy as Levi bent down to your lips to give you one last kiss. To give himself one last kiss, you were always going to be it for him, nobody would ever replace you.

And as he finally parted from your damp lips he heard the last words, he had never wanted to hear, never wanted to imagine coming from your lips. Your arm falling to the grass, body heavy and eyes shut as you whispered the words that brought about the end, “goodbye my love.”

Tears pricked down Levi’s face; he hadn’t expected it from himself. He thought he could stay emotionless but as he held your corpse in his arms, bringing you closer to his body, he remembered every second he had spent with you, loving you and how he was never going to get that ever again.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

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[timextoxhajima]

Not For Sale: Week 14

NOT FOR SALE CHAPTER NAVIGATION

Member: Heeseung + Jay [ft. Sunghoon and Jake]

Pairings: [fem] uni exchange student! reader x uni student! HS x uni student! Jay

Genres: Fluff | Slice of Life | Comedy | Angst | Teenage Romance | Thriller

Warnings: scenes in the hospital

Word Count: 3k

Synopsis/Quote: In which your oblivious ass cannot tell that a popular boy in your class has a big, fat crush on you | “It seems like the one who was ruined was me.”

Taglist: @hyunjaethereal @seasideheeseung @wooya1224 @gratefulmaria @sunshineshouchan @youreverydayzebra @fayqj @witheeseung @haechanhues @w-o-o-y-a-a @miingxuxi @reallysmolrenjun @hrrhmay-primaryblog @rosie112703 @ac-ewow @liliansun​​ [drop me a dm/ask/comment to be added!]

You’re staring at the project document blankly, the pages filled with words and tables of the work you’ve done with Heeseung in the last few weeks or so. The weekend felt like three weeks, even when it was just three days - simply because you were in the hospital watching Jay flit in and out of consciousness and Heeseung’s still in a comatose state. 

The seat next to you is empty and there is no other word to describe being alone on your last week of school than ‘sad’. 

The Uber that picked Jay and Heeseung up had just been in school compounds and the police had found a rig in the brakes - the Uber had been stopped by another car driving straight into it.

Heeseung was on the side the car was rammed into. It’s a miracle he’s even still alive. 

“y/n?” 

The call jolts you out of your dissociation.

“Hey,” The professor walks up the stairs, and only now do you realise everybody else had left the lecture hall besides you. “I had the others hand up their projects but I saw you zoning out and I couldn’t do it.”

“Sorry,” Mumbling under your breath, you give the folder a quick flip-through before handing him the document. “Here.”

With pursed lips, he takes the folder and glances through it, skimming through the contents and pausing on the last page where you and Heeseung had signed off on. 

“I’m sorry it happened.”

“I’m sorry the school had to go through so much to catch the idiot,” Through gritted teeth, you offer him a small wince. 

“Well, yeah, that too,” The professor pulls up the lecture table from the seat next to you and sits himself in the plastic grove. “But it’s not important now. He’s going to be charged for God knows how many felonies, but I just- I wanted to know how you’re holding up.”

The concerned question thrums chills through you. Heeseung would’ve asked that. Jay would’ve too.

Jake and Sunghoon have probably tried, but you’re too busy crying or zoning out at the hospital to process anything else even if they did try. 

“I’m fine,” You shake your head and stuff your iPad into your bag. “There’s nothing anybody can do to make him wake up faster.”

“I know that. It’s just... I don’t want a student ending her semester like this.”

The grumble of the zip as you close your bag is disgustingly loud in the empty lecture hall. You hug your bag, slowly looping your arm through one of the holes as you push the lecture table away. 

“I’ll be fine. I’m leaving next week anyway and Heeseung’s not dead, so.”

The professor goes quiet upon the declaration. 

“Thanks for the fun sem, Prof,” You give him a tiny, wretched smile that’s not genuine at all, lifting a leg over the backrest of the seat in front of you. “I’ll tell my dad to say hi to you every now and then.”

Finally on both your feet one row before him, he looks at you with sad, tired eyes. 

“It’s been a pleasure having you and Heeseung as students, y/n. Do come back to visit when you come visit your father.”

A bare nod shakes your head.

“Bye prof.”

The ceiling looks the same. The light dangling from the beige, crusty roof looks dusty.

The room looks the same - except the fact that 80% of it were in boxes now. The clock hung on the wall has the loudest ticking you’ve ever heard - had it been this loud since the start?

Bzzzzt. Bzzzzzzzt. Bzzz-

“Hello.”

“Jesus Christ, how many times do you want me to call you before you’d pick up?”

Maybe until Heeseung wakes up.

“You know what? Don’t answer that.”

A pause.

“How are you holding up?”

“Great. I mean the sem’s over. I’ve handed up almost every project I need to submit.”

“Fuck you, you know I don’t mean that.”

“What am I supposed to tell you? I’m great, while I wait for my two friends to recover in the hospital? One of them’s not even awake.”

“I don’t want to be that person but no matter how much you cry or pray that he wakes up, it’s going to take time, okay? Let him rest and recuperate and he’ll spring back to life like he wasn’t just in an accident.”

“I shouldn’t have let them take the Uber.”

“For crying out loud, it is not your fault. You told them your dad was coming to get you and Jay didn’t want to cancel it for the fee. It’s a normal reaction. Who was supposed to know the Uber was rigged?”

You blink. 

“Have you packed?”

You count the boxes in your room. “Mostly.”

“I’ll be at your place when you come home. We can bake cupcakes and cookies and you can tell me about the school there.”

Your ears are taking in her words but your eyes are on the paper bag on your desk. It’s the tumbler that Jay got you. 

“Hello? You there?”

“Byeol, what if they don’t wake up before I leave? I have 8 days.”

“Have some faith in them, would you? Jay’s already awake right? He’s just flitting in and out of consciousness and Heeseung... They haven’t said he’s in critical condition, right?”

“But he’s been in the ER and it’s been three days.”

“Sis, I could sleep for three days. He’ll be awake before you leave.”

“Hope so.”

“Not going to the hospital?”

“Nah,” You roll over onto your side and stare at yourself in the mirror on your wardrobe doors. “Their friends are swarming the wards. It’s fine, Jake and Hoon got me onto the special visitors’ list.”

“There’s a special visitors’ list?”

“It’s Jay and it’s an expensive hospital with classier management. So yeah, pretty much.”

“That’s nice.”

Silence - except the occasional crackling of the static on the phone. 

“They’ll do fine, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I have to go now. I’ll call you tonight or tomorrow, I’ll text you?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye bye.”

The car ride with your father is quiet, the gentle music from the stereo playing and you’re thinking about how your mother is back at home. She is a busy woman back home too so you hadn’t really had the time to call or text her.

For the first time in a long time, your father knows more about your life than she does. 

“I know you’re probably not in the mood to answer this but...” The car slows at a red light. “Have you started packing?”

You don’t turn. The trees outside are swaying gently in the light breeze on this sunny day. It reminds you of the day Heeseung brought you out to the beach for your picnic. 

“I’m about 80% done. The stuff left’s like my laptop and iPad and daily appliances.”

“That’s good,” You see him nod in the window’s reflection and glance at you. “Well, I’ll come by and hand you the documents for credit transfer later this week and I’ll send you to the bus terminal next Wednesday too, yeah?”

“Mhm,” Humming to yourself, the refracted red light turns green. “Sure.”

The car starts again. “Hun, I... I just wanted you to know that I know this sem has been difficult for you. I’m- I’m sorry that I suggested you come. Had I known that there was going to be a lunatic running on the loose, I would’ve stopped you from coming.”

“You wouldn’t have known,” You mumble, but still loud enough for him to hear. “It’s fine, it’s over.”

“And with what happened with Jay and Heeseung... I’m sorry. I really am.”

“They would’ve gotten caught up in this crazy shitfest with the psycho anyway, regardless of my presence,” Finally turning to look at your father, he side-eyes you while keeping his hands on the steering wheel. “It’s not anybody’s fault except that psycho’s that this happened.”

Your father remains quiet, unable to respond. The car drives into the sheltered drop-off point at the hospital and he watches you unbuckle the seat belt to let yourself out the car.

“Hey.”

You sling your bag over your shoulder and rest a hand on the car door. 

“They’ll be okay.”

A weak smile pulls your lips up your cheeks. 

“I hope so.”

By the time you’ve reached the floor where the wads were, you’ve run into a good number of their friends. Of course, there were one or two bad apples among the bunch, but most of them knew you were on a special visitors’ list and that’s why you came so late. 

It never gets easier though, the look on their faces when you know they want to tell you that they’ll be okay, but promises should not be made if they cannot be kept.

Walking into Jay’s ward, you see his mother helping to sponge his face while Jake and Sunghoon speak to a friend on the other side of the bed. 

You catch the room’s attention when you pull the plastic bag out from your bag and let the door shut behind you, Jay’s mother looking up and offering you a tired smile. 

“Oh, hey,” Jake grins and beckons you over. 

“Hi Mrs Park,” You gesture to Jake to wait before holding out the plastic bag to Jay’s mother. “It’s a box of tonic for you and Mr Park. Thought of getting fruits but I don’t think Jay can have them yet.”

“Gosh, you really didn’t have to,” She shakes her head and sets the cloth down by the bed. “Thank you. Are you sure you’re okay, coming to visit so often? You’re here everyday, aren’t you?”

You return her a tight, pursed smile. “Yeah, but it’s fine. I’m leaving to go home next week so I don’t have much time left to spend with them. I don’t mind.”

“Oh, honey,” She stands and takes the box from you, turning to set it down on the table behind her before returning you her attention. “I... I don’t know what to say. This must be all a lot for you.”

You break the eye contact first, knowing that you were probably going to cry if you hadn’t stopped looking at her.

“No, it’s fine,” You raise a palm and rub her upper arm. “All I want is to have a decent conversation with Jay before I leave, and I’ll be more than satisfied.”

“Oh!” She exclaims, nose crunching into a threatened crying mess. She holds her arms open and coerces you into her arms, patting the back of your head. “Of course. Of course, Jay will be fine by the time you need to go home. I promise.”

“I really do hope so,” You pull away first and smile weakly at her.

“By the way, Mr and Mrs Lee are with Heeseung in the ward next door,” She sniffles, anxiously rubbing her palms together.

“Oh, right- Do they know I’m on the-”

“Yes, of course they do, sweet heart,” She quickly rubs your arm to comfort you, then slides her hands down to yours to keep them in her palms. “Their parents are the sweetest couple ever and they’d be so grateful that Heeseung has a friend like you. How about I have Jake or Sunghoon bring you over to meet them?”

“Oh,” You watch as she waves to get one of the boys’ attention, Sunghoon quickly pulling away from the crowd to attend to you. 

“Would you do me a favour and bring her over to Heeseung’s ward? Introduce her to his parents.”

“Of course,” Sunghoon hurriedly nods and lowers his head out of respect. “Come on.”

“Thanks, Mrs Park,” You turn your feet to follow Sunghoon, but your hands are reluctant to leave hers. “I’ll come back later.”

“No, take your time, sweet.”

With a slight nod, you pull away and trail after Sunghoon out of the ward after leaving your bag with Jake.

The ward door closes with a soft hiss, then Sunghoon pauses right before you can come into view of Heeseung’s ward door, turning over his shoulder to look down at you. 

“I don’t mean to bring this up at a bad time but...”

“I know,” You nod. “I know I’ve been an ass the last few weeks. Honestly, I... I didn’t know who I wanted to be endgame either.”

Sunghoon gives your word one more second of thought before he turns around to face you. 

“It’s not my business but are you going to choose? Or... just go home next week?”

You frown and look down at your hands, reminiscing the warmth from Jay’s mother.

“I don’t know,” Your voice cracks. “I don’t think I can choose. Even if I do, I have 8 days, and neither of them are awake yet. I don’t... I don’t want to do that to them.”

He takes a deep breath and looks away, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“It’s Heeseung. Choose Heeseung,” He says without looking at you. “The night they got into a crash, Jay texted Jake to tell us that Heeseung kissed you, and that was the moment he decided he would give up.”

The statement tears you apart on the inside. 

“Jay’s a tough guy to hurt and he plays his cards fairly and maturely,” Sunghoon nods and finally looks at you. “Don’t feel bad you’re choosing Heeseung over him. He had a truce with Heeseung. About you. And he knows he lost fair and square, so don’t feel upset. Just pour your heart and soul into Heeseung for the rest of the time you’re here, and worry about committing anything else after you’ve gone home.”

You part your lips to breathe, as if it would help you understand any faster or better.

“Anyway, both Heeseung’s parents are in there and they already have an idea who you are so... Just be nice.”

He watches you nod, slightly zoned-out, then pushes the door open. 

His parents can tell you’re more preoccupied with the limp, breathing body on the bed than their presence, but they still take it with grace and greet you like they’ve known you your entire life.

The sight of Heeseung being bandaged up with a leg hanging in the air makes you feel like shit.

Who wouldn’t?

Later in the night, after Heeseung’s mother had gone home and his father had left to get coffee, you’re left alone with him and the occasional beeping from the Holter monitor. 

There was a bruise and scratch on his left cheek, and his neck, arms and right leg were in a cast. You think about how much he was going to miss dancing when he gets told he’ll need to be on a 6-month break from anything strenuous. 

Tired, you pull your earpieces out and plug it into your phone, laying it on the bed while you hover over him to fit the earbuds into his ears. Then you sit back down and scroll through your playlist, playing with the volume buttons to make sure it was softer than the volume you’d normally listen to your music at. 

You make your selection, then quietly lay on the mattress with the faint music drizzling the atmosphere’s noise. That’s how quiet the room was. 

His fingers were sticking out of his cast, so you play with them. His hair was in his shut eyes, so you gently push them out in case he were to open them. 

“One more time, Heeseung. Just one more time before I leave.”

Jay’s mother was sleeping by his bed when you walk in to check on them, bag hanging from your right shoulder and lids heavy from the terrible sleep schedule the past few days. 

“Hi.”

And a smile stretches your lips out when you can see him blink, offer you his bright grin, apart from the cut on his eyebrow.

“Hey,” You whisper, walking towards him on the other side of the bed. “How are you feeling?”

Jay clears his throat and blinks. “Had better days, but at least I’m alive.”

A snigger threatens to wake his mother up. “Good. Do you want me to wake your mom up? Maybe get a doctor in to give you a check up or something.”

He shakes his head, even managing a small wave in his fingers laying by his hip. “No, I’m good. I’m going back to sleep soon anyway.”

You lean over and adjust his pillow. “Well, then I shan’t disturb you. I’ll come by again tomorrow.”

“Sure,” He looks up at you and nods. Your gazes meet, for a split second, he can kind of know what you’re thinking of, and you know what he was. 

“Thank you for this sem, Jay. I really am.”

He shakes his head. “No, thank you. It was a fun sem because of you.”

“You call being in a hospital ward fun?”

Chuckling, he turns back to look at the ceiling for a second. “You will come back to visit us, won’t you? Zoom call us or something.”

“Of course. We could meet up during the summer break if anything.”

Satisfied, he nods again. “Good.”

“Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow,” You shove your hands into your pockets. 

“Okay,” He quietly responds, watching you turn on your heels. “Oh, y/n.”

You turn and raise a brow.

“Heeseung. He’s the one for you, and... he’ll wake up for you. I know he will.”

With a slightly ached grin, you nod and look down at your feet. 

“Bye Jay.”

“Bye.”

[egcdeath]

opposites attract

pairing: steve rogers x villain!reader

summary: based off of the lyrics:

“you and i are two oceans apart

we're on earth to break each others hearts

in two, and it's hard

with you, when i'm too far

from you, i look at the stars,

do you?”

from ‘ferrari’ by the neighbourhood

warnings: injuries, sparring, mention of blood and bruises, angst, fluff, and banter

word count: 3.7k

a/n: i am a simple woman. i think of a hurt/comfort concept and am morally obligated to write it. (this is a repost from the other day so if you saw it before, no you didn’t)

if you’d like to be added to my taglist, click here! as always, comments and reblogs are always appreciated <3

Thick, cushioned, cream colored walls. You supposed this was an upgrade from your last room, with its harsh and reflective steel. Every time you made an appearance here, it seemed there was a new, yet futile, attempt to keep you contained.

As you studied the pillowy surface, you drummed your fingers on the wooden table that your hands were currently strapped down to, and secretly hoped for your captor to rear his head, even if he was peeking through the double-sided mirror to your left.

Your mind proved itself to be a powerful thing, as the door ahead of you opened, and none other than Captain America stepped in, looking valiant and proud as ever.

“Good afternoon, Captain,” you greeted.

“Flux,” he said in a matter of faculty tone, nodding his head at you before pulling the chair in front of you aside and sitting down.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” you asked, as if you hadn’t been tussling with him in the streets less than an hour ago.

“Y’know, just our biweekly catch up,” he shrugged, playing along.

“Can I suggest coffee for our next meeting?”

Steve scoffed, but you almost swore that if you squinted, you could see him blush. “Enough of that,”  he mumbled before opening a yellow folder and turning it to face you. “You ready to tell me about him?” Steve asked, pointing to a printed photo of Brock Rumlow.

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Captain,” you responded, looking up and batting your lashes at the man. This routine was like clockwork for you two. Fight a little, get yourself caught after a moment of weakness, and end up in an interrogation room.

“Don’t play dumb with me Flux,” he warned in a snarl, wrapping his fingers against your wrist and making you yelp. That was definitely going to leave a mark.

“Ouch, Captain. You’re being rough today, even for you.”

“I’m always rough with you,” he insisted, raising a brow as he loosened his hold on you.

“You’re being rougher than usual, that’s what I just said,” you furrowed your own brows at him. “Something on your mind?

“You’re stalling,” Steve stated while squinting at you.

“I would never do something like that, Cap,” you closed your eyes and visualized the outside of the building. “Does it have anything to do with those accords?”

You opened an eye quick enough to catch a glimpse of his jaw ticking, “I didn’t mean to strike a chord. Oh my gosh, ‘a chord’, accord. I really didn’t even mean to do that.”

You opened your other eye to get a clear view of him glaring at you. “Okay, sorry, I’ll be out of your hair in a moment,” you gave Steve a sly wink.

He stood up from the chair in a dramatic fashion, leaning down to get right in your face. “No. You won’t. Tell me everything you know about Rumlow.”

“Cap,” you pouted mockingly. “You’re not very good at this. Really makes a gal wonder why they keep sending you in to interrogate me, when you don’t seem to get much out of me.”

He grit his teeth while looking down at you, your eye contact both intense and passionate.

“If it makes you feel any better,” you began, looking away at a plain wall in an attempt to focus a bit more on leaving, “I genuinely know nothing about him.”

Steve gave you a humorless look, and your eyes naturally flitted back to him, “really,” he said drily.

“Really,” you confirmed. “We don’t really work in that whole chemical warfare field. Especially with a guy like Rumlow? He’s bad news. Did you really think that all ‘villains’,” you made air quotations on the table. “Know the intimate details of each other’s lives and plans?”

“Hmm,” Steve hummed aloud as he moved back, seemingly convinced.

“I was serious when I said that I’m leaving, though. You and I both have better things to do. But please tell Wanda that she did a good job for me, okay? I mean, civilian deaths are never pretty, but I genuinely would miss having you around.”

“I hate how you talk so much, but literally say nothing,” he huffed.

“I’m not gonna take that personal, ‘cause I know you don’t really mean that,” you sighed softly and looked away to visualize the outside of the building. “Hopefully the next time I see you won’t be UN sanctioned. Farewell, Captain.”

With those words, you were gone.

——

For the next few days of your life, you hadn’t stopped receiving an earful at the Brooklyn base. Mainly from your teammates, who seemed to never let things go, and were the nastiest gossips you’d ever met. Currently, rumor had it that Cecelia, your boss, was preparing to have a strong word with you.

You cracked your knuckles anxiously as you followed a teammate, Amelia, down into the sparring facility, as an attempt to calm your mind before whatever bad news was broken to you.

You passively listened to the TV in the corner of the room while wrapping your knuckles in preparation of getting your ass beat, and listened to the rapid fire reports from hours earlier in the day, but mainly tuned into the fight between the Avengers at the Leipzig airport.

“Have you heard?” Amelia questioned, tying up her lengthy hair as she sauntered onto the mat.

“No, tell me more,” you followed suit on the mat, rising onto the ball of your foot to the heel of your foot in an alternating rhythmic bounce.

“I guess some of it is that UN thing, but it’s probably because of the Winter Soldier,” Amelia bounced similarly to you before charging forward and throwing a left hook at you.

“No way! I thought that guy just disappeared after that S.H.I.E.L.D shit,” you dodged the swing, and went to knee her. “I swear, I asked Steve about it once.”

Amelia rolled her eyes at you, and caught your knee, pushing you down to the ground in the process. “You’re obsessed with him.”

“I think it’s mutual. And you said you’d go easy on me,” you whined, grabbing her extended hand and pulling yourself back up.

“You’re delusional, and that’s why Cec is pissed with you. In fact, Cecelia was so mad, that she couldn’t even form the words to tell you. At least, that’s what she told Naomi.”

“Why, though? It’s not like I haven’t been caught by him a million times already.”

“That’s the problem, though. What happens when they decide to send someone else in to talk to you? And they start waterboarding you, or some shit? All the sudden the Avengers know everything about us?”

“Well that wouldn’t happen, because I would leave,” you shrugged after blocking a few punches.

“I hope you’re getting all your aloof-ness out now, because Cecelia is not gonna put up with this attitude.”

You huffed, and marched over to get a sip of water, dramatically squirting it in your mouth before heading back to the sparring mat.

“Just let me enjoy this while I can, okay? I know how to protect myself,” you swung your fist in an uppercut, and Amelia maneuvered herself out of the way.

“Well, I was just reading something before this. Apparently your boy is a fugitive of the law now. It almost looks like your time is already up,” Amelia commented, delivering a stiff jab to you at the same time that you crouched.

Hearing this news, you froze up, and the punch landed right on your nose, an unsatisfying crack reverberating in your ears.

“Y/N, you alright?” She asked, approaching you as you reached a hand up assess the damage, and pulled away an extremely bloody hand.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you mumbled letting her lead you off of the mats and to the connected bathroom, so you could get a better look at yourself.

You were dizzy with pain, and you pressed your hand to your nose, willing it to heal. Though not your most frequently used ability, it certainly assisted some of the pain. You squeezed your face in a cringe as your bone rearranged itself.

“Is he in jail?” you asked, watching her face screw up in the mirror.

“You’re not really- you are a lost cause,” Amelia scoffed.

“You could be a little nicer to the person whose nose you just broke.”

“You’re fixing your own nose! You’re fine, okay?” she exasperatedly brought her palm up to her forehead. “I’m gonna go take a shower. Be ready to talk to Cecelia as soon as you leave this room. A word of advice? Don’t mention your work husband unless she mentions it first, okay?”

Amelia set a hand on your back and pat it, “good luck with her. If you need a sofa to crash on after this, my place is always free.”

You shook your head at yourself as she left, your own personal healing already fixing most of the damage. As you hopped into your own shower stall, you couldn’t help but question just how bad this confrontation was truly going to be.

——

You walked into Cecelia’s office after receiving a text message from her assistant, inviting you to meet with her.

You were handed a disposable cup filled with piping hot coffee as you entered, and Cecelia beckoned you to sit down in front of her. You obliged, nervously rubbing your hands on your pants as you sat.

“Y/N,” she began in a sigh, “what has gotten into you lately?”

“Nothing, just-“ the older woman put an open hand out, prompting you to stop.

“No, Y/N. You’ve let Rogers become your biggest blind spot. You let him catch you off guard and capture you nearly every single time you go out on the field! I’m starting to think that you want him to catch you.”

“What if I do?” you shrugged, feigning indifference.

“It’s not a ‘what if’ anymore, dear,” Cecelia took a deep breath. “Especially after what happened in San Francisco.”

“I- Cec, you told me that you wouldn’t bring up California anymore!” you huffed and shook your head. “It’s not even like it’s a problem. They haven’t once received intel from me,” you added.

“Something tells me that you won’t be having the same interrogator for a while at least. We were gonna take you out of the field before this whole Avengers fiasco, but I think it’s time for you to just take a break as a whole.”

“So you’re firing me?” you huffed, “great.”

“No, you are taking a break. We can get you set up in the Prague safe house, and everything.”

You weakly threw up your hands and looked away from Cecelia, not even being able to bear looking at her for the moment. What a great day you were having.

——

You sulked the whole way up to your apartment, and reached in your jacket’s pocket with sluggish speed. It was as if you couldn’t catch a break today, which was all you seemed to be able to think about while grabbing your key.

You looked up at the door, and noticed something slightly off. The door was just the slightest bit ajar, as if it was deliberately cracked for you to see. Someone was inside. Waiting for you. You held in your groan as you came to this conclusion.

You really couldn’t catch a break.

Despite your better judgement, you devised a quick plan in your mind. You could probably protect yourself, right? You closed your eyes in a blink, and imagined your kitchen. The plasticky tiles on the floor, the dent in your countertop from dropping a mug, the wooden cupboards that you’d quickly fallen in love with. The next moment, you were standing in your kitchen, right next to your silverware.

As quiet as you could possibly manage to be, you slipped your sharpest and largest knife from its home in a wooden block, and defensively in front of you. Creeping out of the kitchen and into your hallway, you examined area by area for any sign of intrusion, pointing your knife with every turn.

After finding nothing and no one, at the end of the hallway you turned, walking back down and stopping in front of your living room after noticing a few dark stains on your carpet.

You took a deep breath before walking into the open space, the pit in your stomach growing at the thought of what it was that you were about to find.

With a few timid steps, you found a shirtless Steve Rogers, sat on your couch, head lolled back, eyes squeezed shut in pain as he released shallow breaths and attempted to apply pressure to a wound. With one look at him, you yelped and involuntarily found yourself back in the hallway outside of the room, your fear strong enough to force you into teleportation.

“Funny seeing you here,” Steve began, and you stalked back into the room, your steps slightly less fearful as you stepped over his discarded tactical gear.

“Steve?” You whispered, setting the knife on a random bookshelf before kneeling down on the floor next to him. You had a plethora of questions, but you couldn’t decide what was the most important. “I- Are… What happened?”

He shrugged weakly.

“Okay, well how badly are you hurt?” You questioned apprehensively.

“Pretty badly,” he responded.

You nodded slowly while you attempted to process the entire situation. You couldn’t tell if this was a scene from your wettest dream, or worst nightmare. “I’ll be right back,” you muttered, leaving the room to grab some water to help you speed up your healing process.

As you reentered your living room, you set down the bowl of water and squatted down next to Steve once again. Dipping your hands in the liquid, and placing them on an open head wound, you found it appropriate to question him.

“Steve,” you began, watching the forehead laceration quickly shrink into a small scar. “Why are you here?”

“I had nowhere else to go,” he put plainly.

“A hospital, maybe?” you added, pushing away the hand that was currently holding down a rather bloody wound on his upper arm, and exchanging it for your own.

“Something tells me that a hospital isn’t the best place for a guy of my legal status to be at right now,” he countered while you halted your attempt to reduce the size of the wound, cracking your stiff knuckles in preparation for the final push of closing the abrasion. “Besides, this isn’t the first time we’ve done something like this before. You remember S-“

“San Francisco. Right,” you cut Steve off, and brushed off the previous comment. “This is gonna hurt a little,” you warned. before setting your fingers down, and putting an obscene amount of pressure on the bicep wound.

Steve grit his teeth so hard that you swore you could hear it. His muscles clenched as you resumed your attempt to soothe the sore.

“Hey, look at me,” you used your free hand, and gently pushed his cheek so that he was looking at you. “If I distract you, it’ll hurt a lot less. Trust me.”

He seemed to agree with you, and took in a deep breath while the corner of his eye twitched.

“How did you even find my apartment?” you asked, using your pinky to tilt his chin up, and force his view away from the cut.

“It wasn’t that hard, I mean, we’ve been tracking you and that ‘financial firm’ you work in for years,” he spoke through clenched teeth.

“You sure it’s not because you like to keep a personal tab on me?”

“No! Why would I…?”

“Because if all the Avengers knew where me and my teammates reside, we’d all be locked up already.”

“Fine, maybe I pulled a few strings. It’s just because I think you’re the biggest threat to the general public.”

“Really? The woman with the least destructive powers of all of us, not the one with super strength? Or the one who could manipulate elements? Or even, I don’t know, the person leading us?” you chuckled a bit at the poor excuse.

Steve rolled his eyes fondly, but you could clearly see the soft flush on his face.

“It’s okay, Steve. We all have our favorite coworkers.”

“We aren’t coworkers, though.”

“It seems like you’re gonna need all the allies that you can come across. Don’t get picky with me now,” you tutted, finalizing your work on his peck, and leaving behind a small, pink scar.

You let out a breath of exhaustion as you pulled your hand away, and pointlessly shook out your wrists.

“You alright?” Steve questioned, adjusting himself a bit on the sofa and grunting at the rather simple task.

“Fine. What else needs attention?”

He gestured to the light bruising on his ribs that only seemed to be getting darker by the moment.

“We should take a break first, though. You seem tired.”

“I told you that I’m perfectly fine,” you countered, setting one hand on your chest, and pointing a lazy finger at Steve, “you’re the one that needs a break.”

Steve grabbed your finger and gently pushed it down, “I don’t really, but maybe we should take a break.” He gave you a kind smile, and your heart fluttered. Even bartered and bloody, Steve managed to make you feel like a schoolgirl with a crush.

“Well, any great Captain America plans to get yourself out of this mess?” you leaned against the sofa, and twisted your torso slightly so that you could get a good look at your visitor.

“Nope, not yet,” Steve pursed his lips slightly. “Any input from the lady who seems to get out of every rock and hard place she finds herself in?”

You snickered, and shook your head at this, “not at the moment. But you have me on speed dial, right? I can get back to you when I think of something,” you joked with a wink.

“I would laugh, but I’m honestly a little nervous that my lung might pop if I do.”

“Oh fuck, Steve,” you scooted away from him so you could be closer to the bowl of water once again. “Why did we take a break? You need urgent medical attention.”

“You needed a moment.”

You shook your head and frowned, catching the inside of your bottom lip between your teeth, “don’t do that again.”

You dunked both of your hands in the water, then turned back around and set your damp hands on the bruising on Steve’s ribs, closing your eyes in concentration as you addressed the damage.

Steve howled out in pain, making you flinch as a result. With the hand doing less work, you blindly pat around in a search for something to shove into his mouth and dampen the noises he was currently making. Eventually settling on a blanket, you shoved the fabric deep into his mouth.

“Sorry,” you uttered while the muted noise of his pain rang through your ears, “neighbors.”

The task wasn’t the easiest for you either, healing what seemed like such a large break or fracture following several other injuries was depleting your energy quickly. Your arms and hands trembled as you began to watch the splotchy yellow mark begin to blend into the rest of Steve’s skin, and you were becoming more and more light headed by the second.

Feeling somewhat satisfied with your work, you pulled your shaky hands away, and leaned away from Steve’s body before losing your balance, and falling back onto your plush floor.

Steve yanked the blanket from his mouth, sticking out his tongue for a second as he attempted to pull a spare string from his mouth. He sat up rapidly, and looked down at you with raised brows, and big, frightened eyes.

“Y/N?” he asked breathily, still exhausted from his own exertion, “you still with me?”

Your chest rose and fell slowly, and you were silent for a moment before responding, “I just need a minute.”

Steve relaxed back into the sofa with the knowledge that you were at least still conscious, and waited a few beats before he spoke again, “thanks,” was all that he managed to utter.

The two of you sat there in an extremely loud silence, the only other noise being your nearly synchronized panting.

“I’m gonna go shower,” you announced after what felt like hours on your floor. You slowly rose, and dragged yourself to the bathroom in your bedroom. Hitting the shower valve, then sitting atop your countertop you let the suite fill with steam, reflecting on your bizarre day, but most of all, your interaction with Steve.

You let yourself dwell on this while you stood in the shower, forehead pressed against the warm tile as you considered the implications of every word shared between the two of you, and how you’d let this tiny crush get so far ahead of you. Maybe it really was a good idea to take some time away from New York. You were so deep in your own thoughts that you failed to catch onto the sound of the floorboard that loudly creaked in your living room, or the soft click of your front door opening and closing.

Changing into some more comfortable clothing, you exited the bathroom, and ultimately your own room ready to offer up your shower to Steve, and possibly even talk about your feelings in a serious manner with him. Yet, by the time you arrived at the couch that had held him just a half hour ago, it was vacant. In fact, your whole apartment was vacant. You’d checked three whole times.

Ending your fruitless search on your balcony, you settled down into the single plastic beach chair that you kept outdoors, and draped the blanket from your sofa that had previously been in Steve’s mouth around your shoulders. The chill of the night air contributed to the sting of your eyes when they welled up, and you told yourself that it was silly to ever think that this, you and him, could ever happen in the first place.

Gazing up at the stars, you cursed yourself for being so naive. For letting yourself fall so fast, and so hard for someone you knew so out of reach. The stars seemed to mock you, in all of their billions of years of knowledge.

Yet, part of you was comforted by the knowledge that Steve could be viewing the same constellations as you.

----

a/n: listen. i feel like these idiots have a lot of potential so if you want me to write any more of them i am totally down!

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Under Silken Skies [Spencer Reid x fem! Reader]

A/N - just an angsty little oneshot I needed to get out of my head. Fufills my Break Up Square on my CM Bingo Card for @cmbingo​ . My permanent Tag List is open. Find my CM Bingo Masterlist Here. Find my full masterlist here.

My request are also Open for prompts/reqs/headcannons/aesthetics or just to say hi.

CW - major character death and lots of angst. Very vague mentions of smut and virgin! Spencer, vague mentions of Maeve and what happens to Spencer in the S15 finale (if it had ended differently). This does not have a happy ending.

WC: 4K

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He was eleven and you were thirteen. You didn’t know his name, only he was smart and awkward and got teased because of those things.

You found him tied to a flagpole as you’d left detention one night on your way across the soccer field. He was naked aside from his underwear and blindfolded. 

He cried as you untied him, his skin like ice. You insisted you were there to help, whether he believed you or not you weren’t sure. 

You stripped off your oversized jumper and slipped it over his head, helping him guide his arms in the holes. He didn’t thank you. He didn’t ask why. He just wrapped himself in the warmth.

He told you his name was Spencer. Spencer Reid and he’d been tricked by a girl and stripped of his clothes and tied to the flagpole. 

He’d been there hours before you found him. 

You sat together on the dewy grass, no more than a handful of words passed between you. He asked why you’d helped, why you’d stayed but you’d simply shrugged. 

Maybe you’d felt bad for him or maybe you’d felt drawn to him. You knew all about school bullies. 

He seemed so small and unsure of himself, as though the mere act of sitting with you was cause for panic. 

He didn’t make eye contact. You saw him glance in your direction a few times when you weren’t looking. 

He was so fragile you didn’t understand how anyone could do that to such an innocent creature. He just wanted to fit in, isn’t that all we really wanted? 

He couldn’t help being smart. 

There was a sadness about him that went further than what the bullies had done today. You could tell it was the kind of air that followed him around, a permanent dark cloud. 

It hurt you to know someone so young could carry so much pain. It didn’t seem fair that at his tender age he already seemed defeated by the world that surely had so much more to throw at him. 

What if he wasn’t strong enough to cope with the terrors of the world? You hoped maybe these formative years would make him stronger against what was to come. Maybe it was helping to build up those walls early, making him stronger for the horrors he would no doubt have to face later in life.

You weren’t sure, but one thing you were sure of was Spencer Reid had sad, sad eyes. You could tell he needed a friend and maybe you could be it. Maybe you could protect him.

So for now the two of you sat side by side on the soccer field, under the moonlit silken sky.

***

He was twelve and you fourteen and he was finally getting out of the hell hole that was high school. 

It was his graduation day and his gown drowned his small frame and his cap was too big for his head and kept falling to the side.

You straightened it for him again and gave him a soft smile. 

He was going to CalTech in the fall and you were so proud of him, but gosh were you going to miss him. 

It had only been little over a year since the night on the soccer field but the two of you had become friends. He helped you with your homework and you kept the bullies away from him. 

You’d become his protector, he looked up to you and although he would never tell anyone this, he had a crush on you. A big one. 

He was excited about CalTech but he was sad to leave you. 

There were a lot of mixed emotions in the air. You’d stay in touch and he’d come back and visit but it wouldn’t be the same.

Who was going to keep him safe at college? Who was going to keep an eye on him? What happened if the bullies at CalTech were even worse and you were hundreds of miles away not being able to do anything about it?

He’d told you not to worry about him, that he’d be fine but it was hard not to. He was still so tiny and fragile, like a baby bird and if truth be told you were scared for him. 

“I’m proud of you Crash.” You straightened his tie. 

He rolled his eyes under his thick glasses. One time you’d heard his mom call him that and you hadn’t stopped calling him it since. 

“Thanks Y/N.” He smiled but it was a sad smile. 

You placed your hands gently on his shoulders, knowing what he was thinking. You’d gotten really good at reading his mind.

“Me too.” You whispered. You leant close and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

His face turned crimson and he chewed his lip. His cheek felt like it was on fire where your lips had touched him. 

“Come on Crash, it’s time.” You slid your hand in his and started leading him towards the stage he was going to walk over and accept his diploma. 

Within a matter of weeks he would be gone and you’d be alone again just as you had been before you’d met him. 

So for now the two of you walked hand in hard across towards the stage, under the sun soaked silken sky.

***

Spencer was sixteen and you were eighteen and you’d just witnessed his second graduation; this time from CalTech. 

The gown fit him a lot better this time than it had at his high school graduation. Over the last year or so he had sprung up in height, now towering over you. He had grown up a lot over the last few years. He was slowly becoming a man. 

“Look at you.” You nudged him in the arm. “So grown up.”

“Shut up.” He batted you away with a shy smile. “I wouldn’t have asked you to come here if I knew all you were going to do was embarrass me.”

“Sorry Crash.” you smirked. “I am so, so proud of you kid.” 

You gently tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear. His cheeks burned in embarrassment. 

He was coming back to Vegas and you would have been thrilled if it wasn’t for the fact in a few months you were going off to college yourself. 

It seemed unfair life had brought you together only to tear you apart over and over again. There seemed like there was never a right time for the two of you. 

“You ready?” you asked him softly, trying not to focus on the thought of being torn away from him again. 

“Almost.” he nodded, taking a few deep breaths.

You assumed he was trying to calm his nerves before taking to the stage for his graduation ceremony but it wasn’t that. 

His hands were shaking when he came close to you and placed them on your hips.

“What are you doing?” you tilted your head at him in confusion.

Before Spencer could change his mind about his next move he closed his eyes and moved in close to you. His lips were so soft as they pressed against yours, barely ghosting your lips. You could have been convinced it hadn’t even happened. 

He chewed his lip bashfully when he pulled back, looking at the floor.

“Sorry.” he whispered. “I uhm...lets go.” 

He walked past you, leaving you staring in his wake.

Had that really just happened? 

You brushed your fingers against your lips in disbelief. But your lips were tingling, it had definitely happened. 

Eventually you followed him in confusion but there was no time to ask him about it. Hopefully you’d get a chance to later.

So for now you walked behind him, watching him adjust his cap, under the Californian silken sky.

***

Spencer was now eighteen and you were twenty, in your final year at Georgetown. 

Spencer now had a doctorate in mathematics and was working towards one in chemistry. He kept talking about doing another doctorate in engineering when he was through.  

He had grown even more so and was really starting to grow into his looks. He’d always been cute, but recently when you looked at him you saw a handsome man looking back at you. 

Hanging out in your dorm that night it was hard to say how it started. One minute you’d been engrossed in a movie, your head on Spencer’s shoulder and the next you lips were pressed together, his tongue exploring your mouth. 

He hadn’t kissed you again since his CalTech graduation and you didn’t know where this had come from now. But you did know you’d been thinking more inappropriate thoughts about your friend as of late and they were seemingly materialising in front of your eyes. 

Spencer was a virgin, you were not. In that moment you wished he could have been your first time. 

It was slow and gentle and Spencer was a bag of nerves the whole time. He groped at your body with seemingly no purpose other than to feel every part of you. 

He didn’t last long, the feeling of being inside of you was too intense, too sensational. But it was nice. It felt right. It felt like home.

Afterwards he held you in his arms in your small single bed too nervous to look you in the eye. You stroked circles on his bare chest feeling the most content you’d felt in a long time. 

You both stared up at the ceiling which you’d painted midnight blue and was peppered with glow in the dark stars. 

“Spence?” You whispered softly.

“Yes Y/N?”

“You know I love you, don’t you?”

He exhaled and pulled you into him closer.

“I know.” He kissed the top of your head. “And I love you.”

You didn’t know what would happen tomorrow. You didn’t know if this was a one time thing or if this meant you were together now. You suppose it didn’t much matter right now. The only thing that mattered right now was Spencer holding you in his arms.

So for now you laid there together on your dorm room bed, under a mural of the silken sky.

***

He was twenty two and you were twenty four, and he’d just been offered a job at the FBI. 

In Quantico, Virginia.

You were sure you’d spent your whole relationship out of state from one another. The past three years Spencer had been away while he worked on a second BA and then his third doctorate. 

Since leaving college you’d stayed put in Vegas, getting a job as a curator at a local art gallery. 

You saw Spencer when you could but it never seemed to be enough. At least not for you. 

And then he’d dropped the bombshell about his job offer and told you he was moving to the other side of the country. 

It had been hard enough over the years to maintain your relationship but you were sure this would be the death of you. And so you’d told Spencer it was time the two of you went your separate ways.

He’d tried to argue that you could make it work but you weren’t willing to find out. The four years you’d gotten had been amazing but all good things had to come to an end.

And maybe you and Spencer had never been destined. It had always been just a little too difficult. You’d finally thought once you were in the same state it would be easier, but he was leaving again. 

It was hard but he supposed he understood. He would miss you with every fibre of his being but this job was too good for him to pass up.

You told him if you were meant to be, you’d find your way back to each other one day, although you weren’t sure you believed that. 

You sat on the swing set in the desolate park together, hands entwined together as you swung back and forth on your separate swings. 

He was leaving tomorrow. He was packed, his flight was booked and he had an apartment to go to in DC. 

He was leaving and you were staying and it broke your heart. 

“I’m gonna miss you Crash.” You squeezed his hand.

“I’m going to miss you too Y/N.” 

It felt like the end of an era but an era that had never really had a chance to begin.

He was supposed to be your one true love, your greatest love story. But this story didn’t get a happy ending.

You swung back and forth into the night, just revelling in being with him one last time. You couldn’t think about tomorrow. Tomorrow was a world away.

So for now you swung, hand in hand, under the midnight silken sky.

***

You were twenty nine and you loved him, you really loved him.

He had turned your whole world upside down and made you feel things you’d never thought you’d feel again.

You loved him, you really did.

But he wasn’t Spencer Reid. 

Maybe you’d gotten lucky and got to have two great loves of your life. Your life with Spencer was over long ago, it was only fair you were allowed to move on.

You wondered what twenty seven year old Spencer was doing with his life. Was he still at the BAU? Did he get a fourth doctorate? Was he happy?

God you hoped he was happy.

It was a small ceremony in front of your closest friends and family. No frills, no fuss. Just you and him being joined in matrimony. 

He was a good guy, a nice guy; he treated you right and he loved you. At the end of the day, that’s all that mattered right?

So you didn’t get butterflies in your stomach when he kissed you. Maybe you didn’t go weak at the knees when he looked at you or felt like you were coming home when you made love. And so what if you’d felt all those things with Spencer? That didn’t matter, did it? It didn’t mean you didn’t love your new husband.

It was just a different kind of love. You weren’t in your teens falling in love for the first time. This was the kind of love you had when you grew up and got older. It didn’t mean it meant any less; that he meant any less to you.

He led you outside by your hand as your friends and family showered you in confetti. He turned and smiled at you brightly. He looked the happiest you’d ever seen him, you didn’t know if you could match his happiness. 

You smiled back at him, probably not quite meeting his enthusiasm but if he noticed he didn’t say as much. It was only now that you looked down at the ring around your finger did it suddenly feel like a noose. You couldn’t allow yourself to think about how wrong it suddenly felt.

So for now you allowed your new husband to kiss you, under the Vegas Springtime silken sky.

***

He was thirty one and she was thirty. Her voice was like honey and he yearned to be able to hold her in his arms.

Her name was Maeve Donnovan and she had a stalker which was preventing them from meeting.

It was the first time Spencer had felt anything akin to love since you. He was sure he would never love again, you were the only person that could take that place in his heart.

And then had started having headaches and sought out the help of a geneticist and he started falling in love with her. For the first time in years you weren’t the first thing on his mind when he woke up in the morning. He didn’t spend all his waking hours pining over you. 

Maeve was slowly but surely replacing you in his heart. And Spencer really needed that. He needed you finally gone from his mind. 

“I think the stalker’s gone Spencer.” she’d told him that Sunday on the phone. 

A huge weight had been lifted from her voice, he could hear the smile in it down the payphone. He couldn’t help but smile in return.

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure yeah.” she was smiling brightly. He knew she would have a beautiful smile. 

“That’s great Maeve.” he smiled, gripping the phone in hands. 

Did that mean what he thought it meant? Could they finally meet now? Have a normal relationship?

“I want to meet.” her words were rushed as though she weren’t sure she should be saying them. But he caught them.

She wanted to meet. She wanted to meet him. 

He didn’t care what she looked like because she was already the most beautiful woman in the world to him. But what if she didn’t like him? What if he was too nerdy, what if his hair was too long and messy? What if she took one look at him and turned and ran?

He swallowed those nerves, trying to push them aside for another day. 

So for now he smiled shakily down the phone, under the blustery DC silken sky.

***

You were forty and recently divorced. You knew on your wedding day it would end this way.

You loved your husband but you would never love him the way you loved Spencer. You managed ten years before you’d called it quits. He’d always known your heart didn’t fully belong to him.

You missed Spencer everyday and it was so unfair how he could still take up so much of your mind. It was a cruel world you supposed. Maybe you just weren’t supposed to be happy.

You’d had your happiness and it had been short lived. But you were thankful for the brief happiness you had been given. It was more than some people got you supposed.

He was thirty eight and home visiting his mother. He didn’t work full time at the BAU anymore since his reinstatement after he was incarcerated and lectured at Georgetown part time. It allowed him more free time to fly out to Vegas to see his mom.

Lecturing at Georgetown brought back so many memories for him. Georgetown was the place he had lost his virginity, the place he’d told you he loved you for the first time. Georgetown held so many pleasant memories for Spencer but they were all bittersweet.

After spending some time grieving Maeve after she died, his mind landed right back on you. It seemed he was always pining over someone. It wasn’t fair. 

He was getting coffee on his way back to the hotel he was staying in when a familiar face materialised in front of him.

You weren’t there one moment and then suddenly you were, as though you had just appeared out of thin air. 

You held your own coffee cup in your hand, your eyes wide and jaw slack. He watched you swallow a lump in your throat.

“Hi Crash.” you couldn’t help his old nickname tumble out from between your lips.

“Hi Y/N.” his voice croaked, still trying to comprehend how you could so suddenly be here in front of him after all these years of absence.

He felt like that twenty two year old swinging with you side by side in the park counting down the hours until he left you. 

He felt like the sixteen year old young man who was falling hopelessly in love with you.

He felt like the eleven year old boy utterly grateful for you untying him from the flagpole. 

“It’s been a long time.” you spoke, your mouth dry.

“A really long time.” he agreed with a stiff nod. 

“Uhm...do you want to...coffee?” you ignored the fact you both had coffees in your hand. 

“O-ok.” he nodded stiffly again.

After all these years you had so much to say to each other but no words would come out. 

So for now you walked in silence down the Vegas street, under the cloud coated silken sky.

***

He was thirty nine years old when the explosion occurred. He’d thought it was just a concussion and didn’t pay it much mind. 

You were forty one years old when you received the phone call from Penelope Garcia to inform you that Spencer was in the hospital.

They called it intracranial bleeding, his brain was swelling, bleeding; shutting down. They’d told you there was nothing they could do.

How cruel this life had been to you. It had stolen Spencer away from you when your relationship barely had a chance to blossom. It had brought him back into your life, for the two of you to fall back in love with each other only to have one final year together.

It had been the greatest year of your life and you had to try and focus on that as David Rossi read his eulogy. 

He spoke all about Spencer’s life, the life you’d barely gotten to be a part of. Hearing it second hand and not from Spencer’s lips was tragic enough in itself. 

You didn’t really feel as though you belonged here. You didn’t know him the way his team members knew him. You felt like a stranger in this place now. 

You’d jumped at moving to DC when you and Spencer reunited because there was no way you were making the same mistake twice and letting him get away again. But now DC seemed like a suddenly very lonely place. 

As the brilliant man you knew and loved was being lowered into the ground, his final resting place, the heavens opened. The rain cascaded down from the sky and you couldn’t help but think how apt it was on this already bleak day. 

Garcia came to you at his graveside when the ceremony was over. The rain disguised your tears. She nudged you with her shoulder, her own tears falling.

“The world is going to be a very different place without boy genius in it.” she sobbed as she spoke.

“You’re telling me.” you chewed your lip, your eyes locked on his headstone as you spoke. 

“He loved you know? He always loved you.”

You nodded statically not looking at the other woman. You knew he loved you, that much you were sure of. You only wished you had more time. 

Maybe if you’d know what life had in store you would have come with him to DC all those years ago. Had you known you didn’t have all the time in the world, that your love only had a finite number of days you might have been more inclined to cling to them.

That was hindsight though you supposed and dwelling on it didn’t change the past. What was done was done. You didn’t go to DC with him, you stayed in Vegas. You spent years pining over him only to have the universe throw you back together again. 

And then he’d been snatched from you once more in the most horrific way. And now it was over for good.

“Come on Y/N, you’ll catch a cold if you stay out here.” Garcia placed a gentle arm on your shoulder.

“I’ll be right there.” you told her, still not looking away from where the love of your life was buried beneath the dirt.

You heard her leave as more tears started to fall from your eyes. Your knees gave out and you fell to the grass in the rain. 

You sobbed into your hands, cursing life for being so unyielding. But there was nothing you could do about it. The wheels had been set into motion long before you and Spencer had even met. This was always the way things were going to end up. Fate was a cruel mistress. 

And so you knelt in the dirt sobbing next to the grave of the love of your life, under the grey, weeping silken sky.  

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